Excelled himself yet again!

[greenberet]

I must be getting stronger - the need to post on here is less frequent however the cunt has excelled himself yet again!

I have been communicating with x over kids schooling and future living arrangements - they have to start thinking about uni and am aware open days are taking place. When I say communicating I mean emailing him to ask what if anything he is doing or discussing with Ds - also for feedback on Ds parent evening that I was unable to attend.

My finances are becoming a struggle - I am not sure I can continue in the family home until kids complete a levels as I would like. I am buying a house but it is 300 miles away which I want to tie in with kids going to uni - but I think this may be impossible. I have informed x - I have said kids may have to live with him as he rents a house local as well as having bought with OW in Sheffield. This is not ideal but the only way the kids lives can continue with least interruption.

(My finances are a struggle because I have paid Ds school fees alone, I got shafted in divorce and because the cunt is pursuing child maintenance through the courts)

As per normal I get nothing back. I have contacted his father - the kids grandfather - to see whether he will make funds available that is held for the kids - I get nothing back from him either!

Sunday - Father's Day as I am waiting for Dd I get an email to tell me to stop emailing him and his dad as he sees these emails as harrassment and that he will get his solicitor to tell me to stop ( as previous) if I don't.

What sort of cunt sees email communication about his kids schooling and living arrangements as harassment - I was unable to keep this from Dd.

It is his contact night tonight - Dd has just sent me a pic of a Father's Day card from Ow' s kids it says "thank you for always being there for us"

I am so angry -angry that he leaves this out for Dd to see - angry that he is "there" for her kids at the expense of his own, angry that he is such a fucking cunt!

My Dd says she is fine - she says why would they even get a card I don't understand - she's not fine - she knows what this means - her brain is just protecting her from the immense hurt that must be wracking through her! I can't even give her a hug!

When will this stop? I read on here somewher that abuse of a mother is abuse of kids - he cannot see the damage he is doing in his attempts to make me the evil one! One day karma - I hope to fucking god this is true!

[Thingsdogetbetter]

You are still expecting him to be suddenly become someone he is not. You keep expecting him to be a good, loving father who respects the mother of his children and wants to do the best for his children and help support her in that common goal.
And everytime he lets you down again and behaves like he always has, you seem surprised and end up angry, disappointed and full of hate. This is literally eating you alive.
You have to stop. Stop expecting decency. Stop expecting him to step up to his role as father. Stop expecting him to be anything but the shite he is.
You keep putting your hand in the lion's mouth and then being shocked when it id bitten . On repeat. The definition of madness is repeating the same actions and expecting a different result.
At this stage your expectations are ruining your life. And it can't be doing your children any good. Hate is not the opposite of love. Apathy is!
You need to find a way to sort things out without his help, financially or otherwise. Because, no matter how much a decent man would be willing to help, he is not a decent man. And no pleading with him is going to change that. Let your expectations go. You can't depend on him. The only person you can depend on is you. And the only parent your kids can depend on is you.
If you ever want to be free of this hate and be free, it's up to you to let go.

[user1467480231]

OMG! I think were married to the same man!!

Knob chops that he is!!!!

[greenberet]

Things - do I expect him to be someone he isn't? I don't know if I do - I know he's a cunt - at some point I wont be able to keep it altogether -financially that is _ hopefully emotionally with the support I'm getting. maybe this is his reaction to me telling him I am sending copies of all the communication I have had with him to Ds school - I've asked them if there's any chance of a discount on Ds school fees - they have refused -they probably think Ds father will cough up - I doubt he will so they need to see my attempts at this and the full extent of my financial situation with the background. I don't know anymore I have to cover myself - my counsellor has full details and so does my Gp. If I can't make it work I don't know what the upshot is - I doubt he wants the kids full time but the only way I am going to find this out is when there is no alternative- I could actually see them living with friends rather than him adjust his life to put their needs first!

I don't plead with him - I couldn't give a fuck how he treats me - but he is still abusing the kids despite his belief otherwise. The more he ignores my emails, the more documents I have. And once I got over the initial shock that both him and his DF are still cunts he doesn't scare me like he used to with his threats of harrassment and informing his solicitor.

All it does is confirm what a weak pathetic individual he is That he needs to resort to the bully boy tactics when he is feeling exposed. One day I hope his kids see it for what it is meanwhile I will keep on doing what I'm doing and hopefully with a bit of luck I will achieve it all!

[PolkaHots]

Why would your DD send that to you? Seems like a v unhealthy dynamic.

[somuchunanswered]

*I was unable to keep this from Dd
*
How so?

[greenberet]

Oh here we go

[Fizzymama]

Polka - probably because she's quite rightly, very upset. I thought that was obvious. Her father has received a father's day card, from his step kids thanking him "for all he does for them" - yet he's ignoring his own biological children.

[PolkaHots]

How is he ignoring his kids?

[Fizzymama]

Polka - Did you not read OP? Are you the Op's ex?

[Teabay]

Hey greenberet, nice to hear from you again!

I'm in the same spot as you - divorced from a tight af wanker. He pays minimum CMS, but won't pay a single 1p to anything extra (school residentials, new uniform for big school, music lessons etc) as he insists that his £5 a day covers everything a 12 yo needs. Oh, and that he's not "giving me money to fund my Starbucks lifestyle". Hmmmm.

He's a twat. Yours is a twat. What I good job we dumped them, eh?

Koko x