DP won't eat lunch!

[BetterEatCheese]

I am writing this to see if I am being a pain in the arse and whether I need to leave dp alone.

He is self employed, a labourer, and never ever stops for lunch. He says he wants to get home earlier and doesn't have time to stop. He's crap at getting up in the morning and I think the issue is this as getting up earlier would mean he could get to jobs earlier and still have time to make lunch and stop to eat it.

He is a grumpy arse when he comes home as he's so hungry and then snacks all evening. I also worry about him doing a very physical job on an empty stomach.

I had a right moan at him today as he has to take dd out this evening and won't be back until 8:30pm and he was moaning that he is hungry. I asked if he'd had lunch and he hadn't. I can't bear it, it's all self inflicted and I'm losing sympathy!

Should I leave him to it or keep on at him to stop and eat. I'm really worried about his health and moods

[Brahms3rdracket]

If you made him a packed lunch would he eat it?

[alwaysontimeneverlate]

He's a grown up, he either does it his way but stops the grumpy attitude after all it is t your fault he's not eating or eats during the day, a quick snack am sure would o my take 10 mins. Does he drink during the day?

[BetterEatCheese]

This is the thing, he probably would, but why can't he take responsibility and make it himself? Why do I need to? I make my own two days a week but dc have school lunch so it wouldn't just be another sandwich to add to the pile.

[BetterEatCheese]

I agree @alwaysontimeneverlate! I said as much to him - eat or quit the grumpy. I also said that I only have 15 mins lunch at work and manage to eat a good lunch.

I said to him that he needs to take responsibility for eating as he's self employed, nobody will do it for him.

He has general issues with priorities I think and finds it hard to stop for what he sees as less important than what he's doing

[NoelHeadbands]

He’s a grown up, he can make his own decisions and his own lunch but I wouldn’t listen to him moan about it.

[BetterEatCheese]

He doesn't drink regularly either, no

[WorraLiberty]

Just let him get on with doing his own thing but every time he moans, just tell him you don't want to hear it.

Dong engage in any conversation at all about him being hungry

[WorraLiberty]

*Don't - not 'Dong'

[BetterEatCheese]

Good plan - this may be what I have to do. He moans like someone has done this to him without realising he just needs to get his shit together and plan more

[BikeRunSki]

I used to make DH a pack up (also physical job). Then I realised that he wasn’t a child and I wasn’t his mother. Then he started making his own.

[BetterEatCheese]

He's driving me crazy with the attitude that he can't possibly stop and eat. He definitely can. I wonder if he's doing this to get me to make his lunch?

[BetterEatCheese]

Actually, thinking about it, he never cooks if I haven't. Dinner will be a toasty if it's his turn

[Want2beme]

For the sake of your sanity, would you put some bananas or other fruit, some crackers or similar in his car, and some water, so that he can eat something on the drive home, which should get rid of his "hanger"? I know it's not your job to feed him.

[Lexilooo]

Put a box of muesli bars in with the shopping and tell him to take those?

If he actually eats what he takes with him then suggest he takes zero prep stuff. I can't be bothered making sandwiches in the morning but always have a decent lunch.

Or just repeat "it is self inflicted" every time he complains

[Bombardier25966]

Sounds like you're driving yourself crazy, you're winding yourself up.

It's his choice when he eats. Imagine the fuss if a man was trying to tell a woman when to eat.

[MrsMotherHen]

If I knew my husband wasnt eating lunch. I would honestly just make him a packed one.

[BetterEatCheese]

Hmmm... mixed bag of responses! I will get some cereal bars and water and put them in a bag in the back of his van, this would be easy, I agree.

I do need to stop winding myself up about it but it's the way it seems like it's my fault or that I should listen to the moaning which makes me less inclined to make the lunch. Also, I am up 1.5 hours earlier than him for no reason other than he is lazy. I get up at this time to sort dd and am at uni so study time too. He lays in bed until we leave so I do wonder why I should spend any of that time making him lunch when he is snoozing happily.

Sound like a bitch but I just feel like he needs to realise his lunch is his job and want to eat for everyone's sake.

Now I don't know whether to back off or make his lunch!

[BetterEatCheese]

I do agree that he is a grown up and it's up to him but this is beginning to affect us all

[Singlenotsingle]

Mine prefers to make his own packed lunch, then he knows what he's getting. He also does his own washing (so he can make sure no socks get lost) and ironing (he does it better than I do).

[happymummy12345]

He can decide when he wants to eat. Both me and dh only eat once a day- evening meal.

[expatinscotland]

What Worral said. Learn to let this roll off you. No pack ups or solutions. He's an adult. Do NOT make the fucking lunch! STOP enabling his behaviour.

EVERY time he moans, you just shrug 'Don't want to hear the moans. You're a grown up.' and leave the room.

Just learn to tune it out or even get a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and put those on when he starts in.

[expatinscotland]

'I do agree that he is a grown up and it's up to him but this is beginning to affect us all'

Only because you are letting it. He's using it as a tool to get you to wait on him. Fuck that!

[expatinscotland]

My 9-year-old son with high-functioning autism knows how to make a sandwich, heat up a tin of soup, make a cheese toasty, fry an egg and bacon. There's no way I'd be putting up with a grown man stropping because Wifey isn't making his pieces.

[BetterEatCheese]

Thanks @expatinscotland exactly what I needed to hear!

[BetterEatCheese]

I need to stop seeing it as my issue and not engage.