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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Blackmail

125 replies

user21 · 14/12/2017 15:20

It’s tricky for me to go into detail but I think I may have just done this.

Has anyone else ever found themselves in this situation on either side for whatever reason?

I feel uneasy 😟

OP posts:

Report

scurryfunge · 14/12/2017 15:22

If you are blackmailing someone and they report it to the police you may end up being interviewed.

user21 · 14/12/2017 15:28

It’s not really a criminal/police matter though

Not that serious, just something that I have said/threatened to do that seemed appropriate at the time but I’m now thinking my be wrong.

OP posts:

scurryfunge · 14/12/2017 15:35

Ah, ok maybe not proper blackmail then. Any more info you can give?

user21 · 14/12/2017 15:42

Blackmail probably too strong word.
Sorry, my head all over the place.

I suppose I would like to hear from others on either side of this situation so I can gauge if I’m being reasonable or not.

Probably not being fair as I’m not prepared to divulge more info myself.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 14/12/2017 15:45

What situation ?

How can we comment on this without knowing what you are talking about ?

Angelf1sh · 14/12/2017 15:51

You’re not going to get much of a response if you don’t explain what you mean. I doubt anyone is going to admit to having/been blackmailed anyway.

PNGirl · 14/12/2017 16:16

Nobody who has been blackmailed is going to tell you the blackmailer was justified and it was a grand experience.

Sullabylullaby · 14/12/2017 16:21

Are you going to go through with the threat?

user21 · 15/12/2017 06:40

I wasn’t asking for comments on my situation just other experiences of blackmail and did say it probably wasn’t fair asking people to share.

Yes. I will go through with the threat.

OP posts:

dertyyuoih2 · 15/12/2017 06:53

If your doing this .........

Blackmail is an act, often criminal, involving unjustified threats to make a gain—most commonly money or property—or cause loss to another unless a demand is met.[1][2] It is coercion involving threats to reveal substantially true or false information about a person to the public, a family member, or associates, or threats of physical harm or criminal prosecution.

Then it’s a criminal offence.

SD1978 · 15/12/2017 06:53

Sorry- like everyone else has said, without knowing who you said what to and in what context, no way to give you an answer

JediStoleMyBike · 15/12/2017 06:56

Why should others open up to you when you are being cryptic and evasive? I'm hoping it's because you are ashamed but I doubt it.

SleepFreeZone · 15/12/2017 06:58

Sounds like you might mean you gave an ultimatum?

Sullabylullaby · 15/12/2017 06:59

So you're knowingly going to commit a criminal offence. Clever girl.

Ellisandra · 15/12/2017 07:01

I was blackmailed as a child by a sibling.
I felt angry and powerless and desperate and isolated and lonely.

Usually when things are shit, you can talk to people. If money is tight, or your boss is an arse... you have a chance to talk it out wit people. With blackmail, you can't because you can't reveal the reason. Or feel you can't.

It's a particularly nasty way to treat someone.

Does that help?

user21 · 15/12/2017 07:08

I’m not sure I’m ashamed tbh but my judgement isn’t great atm. In my head it’s fair. He won’t report me to the police.

Ultimatum sounds better. Perhaps coercion
is the best description in this situation.

OP posts:

Ellisandra · 15/12/2017 07:09

Oh well coercion is fine

SpartonDregs · 15/12/2017 07:10

nobody knows who you are.

what have you threatened and who have you made the threat to?

Ellisandra · 15/12/2017 07:10

The thread is pointless without some detail. The same people who say one thing, may say quite another if they knew what you were actually talking about

user21 · 15/12/2017 07:11

Thank you for replying Elisandra
I’m sorry you felt like that.

OP posts:

Ellisandra · 15/12/2017 07:17

But not sorry that you're prepared to make someone else feel that way?

It was 35 years ago btw - still remember those feelings of helplessness.

Angelf1sh · 15/12/2017 07:27

Coercive behaviour is also potentially a criminal offence.

If you’re sorry for what you said, apologise and take it back. If you’re not sorry and think it was fair to say, why are you here?

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user21 · 15/12/2017 07:35

I’m here Angelfish because I’m trying to work out what to do. The threat will remain but it’s whether to carry it through I’m wrestling with as the time approaches.

Thank you for all the replies. I know I’m being unreasonably evasive.

OP posts:

Sullabylullaby · 15/12/2017 07:35

I'm guessing it's threatening an ex/current husband with telling his workplace about his misdemeanours or some such.

Sullabylullaby · 15/12/2017 07:37

Well enlighten us, is what you're threatening to reveal a personal behaviour or criminal behaviour on their part?

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