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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Talk me down - new boyfriend gone AWOL

123 replies

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:11

New boyfriend (of three months) hasn't replied to a message since 8pm yesterday.

I messaged him at 11pm and he didn't respond. Sent an unrelated text today asking how his day was at 4pm and he hasn't responded!

It hasn't been read but he has been online.

In my worry I can think of two outcomes:

1 - he's doing a DIY project this weekend. Could be absorbed in that.

2 - he's gone on another date/doesn't want to talk to me.

Help me get perspective please!

OP posts:

Report

NoelNiki · 02/12/2017 19:15

I hear you. I hate it when that happens. My relatively new bf at the time vanished all day Saturday and Sunday. Finally called after midnight into Monday. Family shit going on.

Just leave it now. Hard though it is.

Hopefully just busy.

Userplusnumbers · 02/12/2017 19:15

Call him?

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:16

I'm not calling - he absolutely hates talking on the phone - has told me this early on. We've never called.

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2017 19:17

If he's been online, you know he's OK. Personally, I wouldn't waste energy worrying. He's obviously not giving you any thought if he isn't responding to your texts. Not OK behaviour, nip it in the bud.

NoelNiki · 02/12/2017 19:18

Wtf he doesnt even want to talk to you on the phone? Dont like that.

Hellomaryimback · 02/12/2017 19:18

I'd be concerned about the not liking to talk on the phone excuse tbh.

I'd put money on it he has other women on the go

TidyLike · 02/12/2017 19:19

It's not that long. He could be with other people (innocently) without a chance to respond properly, his phone could need charging and he's logged on with someone else's computer but with limited functions, he could have WiFi/mobile internet but no phone signal, etc.

I know it's hard but I'd leave it of I were you. You might freak him out if you contact him again. Which isn't to say he doesn't owe you an explanation!

Squeegle · 02/12/2017 19:19

How has it all been up till now? To be honest I think there is no point in playing games. It’s a bit rude if he hasn’t responded - is this the kind of boyfriend you want?

TidyLike · 02/12/2017 19:19

Oh, I hate taking on the phone too ... I don't think that's particularly weird

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:20

I messaged at 4pm so it's been over 3 hours.

I believe he doesn't like talking on the phone, some people don't. Never seen him on the phone when I've been with him.

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2017 19:20

If he 'doesn't like talking on the phone', you won't phone at inconvenient times. BIG RED FLAG!

BeetrootTart · 02/12/2017 19:21

I'd be very wary of the no phone calls. I'd assume that he's not actually single.

MyBrilliantDisguise · 02/12/2017 19:23

Have you been to his house? Have you talked about exclusivity? Would you normally see him on a Saturday night?

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:23

He is definitely single. Always has his phone in front of me etc. But he's not normally so bad at replying.

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BeetrootTart · 02/12/2017 19:23

I don't like talking on the phone but I've always managed to make exceptions for close friends, lovers, husbands and my mum. Be wary.

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:24

Yes I've been to his house. Wouldn't usually see him on a Saturday, no. Because of said DIY project.

OP posts:

SparklyMagpie · 02/12/2017 19:25

Nah I'd bin him off

Hellomaryimback · 02/12/2017 19:27

He sounds really dodgey.

I went to my ex house, met his young kids and his father. I was no.3 chick!

He would fall off the face if the earth
His phone was always on silent

Be very careful

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:28

He's never done this before which is odd.

How do I bin him off though? If he's not actually replying.

OP posts:

flutterby12 · 02/12/2017 19:28

Doesn't like talking on the phone? I smell BS

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:29

Don't think the talking on the phone is a big deal honestly though...

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Justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2017 19:31

So you can't call him, and can't rely on him replying to your text messages? This relationship sounds decidedly one sided.

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ferrier · 02/12/2017 19:31

I don't like phoning either.
Is there anything else that makes you think he might be cooling on you?

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:32

He's usually reliable on replying though. Takes a while, but that's always been the case.

OP posts:

hotchpotch7 · 02/12/2017 19:33

Not normally been a whole day with no response though. So what do I do? Delete his number (so I'm not tempted) or text again?

OP posts:

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