Things have been pretty rough for us all for a couple of years. DH and I have got through it relatively well until the last few weeks. I'm desperately unhappy and need more from him but struggling to know how to get him to understand that. Some key things without giving a massive back story.
He has a disability which has changed his life in lots of ways and is quite depressed about this.
The result of that is that he doesn't do much, either around the house or outside the house. He waits for me to get home before doing anything and if I ask him to do anything while I'm at work he will do one thing, e.g. Will you phone this person and this person to sort this out? He will only phone one person, if I ask about the other person he huffs and puffs as if I'm being unreasonable. He keeps the house generally tidy but doesn't do things like the washing so me and the kids literally have no clean clothes to wear at the weekend; so the kids end up having pyjama days on their games and we rarely go anywhere, which suits him as he wants to stay at home. He avoids his kids coming over (adults) and says awful things and I smooth everything over so we don't become totally isolated but it's not good for any of us.
He is angry / snappy / short tempered / negative all the time and it's draining me. I have no energy left to keep doing this because there is nothing which is good for the soul happening. As a result I've detached because I can't keep going, I feel like a sponge which is wrung out and has nothing left. I've tried to explain this and he says he understands but then he keeps making sarcastic comments and little digs.
I know he's under pressure at the moment and I want things to be better but I don't know how to word it without it feeling like an attack.
We are also very skint and waiting to hear about some money coming through to tide us over but for two years I have used savings and a loan to pay the mortgage because he can no longer work. We're now at the point where I have nothing left for the next mortgage payment and barely enough for food. I'm surviving on sandwiches and the kids are going without treats but he's still smoking and buying expensive coffee even though I have to give him money every month to pay his bills.
Any advice? Am off to work now so not ignoring any responses. I will check in again later.
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Relationships
How to approach this?
HmmmmBop · 10/11/2016 07:20
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