Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Sent me over the edge

(8 Posts)
Suspect Mon 28-Mar-16 16:41:40

We have 3 kids, one being 5 weeks old and together 11 years.
Dp has been home since Wednesday. Every day he has slept in until 9:30/10am while I've been up all night with baby and then awake with all 3 since 5am onwards. To say I'm fried is an understatement, I'm so tired I'm starting to feel disoriented. For the last 3 days I have asked him to get up with the kids so I can have a lie in and some sleep. Each day he has just rolled over and I end up doing the kids. This is coupled with weird things he is doing.. I hate all the eclair and he went mental saying how selfish I was for eating them all. So I bought some more, when I offered him one he turned and said "I don't like eclairs"
So much other stuff but I'd be here all day writing it. He miserable and constantly complains about the kids and how they are annoying him. I keep saying if you hate your life then leave. But this house is in his name, we aren't married and I'm a SAHM. He isn't going to leave.
I've told him today that I'll be moving into the spare room permanently. And we are no longer a couple. I don't Think he believes me but its time I took back some control. Doing the right thing aren't I?

Walkacrossthesand Mon 28-Mar-16 16:47:30

How is he spending the days while he's off work? How about if, when he's up, you announce that you're knackered and off to bed for x hours - he's in charge of the children till then and you are not to be disturbed unless the house is on fire!

Suspect Mon 28-Mar-16 16:49:39

He sits infront of the TV. His arse cheeks are probably imprinted on the sofa. He does bath the kids and help with minimal things but I need help only with sleep. I keep repeating this but he doesn't seem to get it. I'm so frustrated.
Oh when I do sleep in the afternoon he has the kids screaming downstairs so I can't sleep anyway. I literally want to cry. It's happened so many times that I just give up.

Suspect Mon 28-Mar-16 16:51:26

He keeps promising to do stuff with the kids and when it comes to the day, he has slept in so its too late to go or it never happens. Kids running in circles because they are bored, and yes I do take them and do stuff.

Silverfoxofwarwick1953 Mon 28-Mar-16 22:52:37

Time to cut your losses?

CocktailQueen Mon 28-Mar-16 23:04:35

He sounds like an lazy arse wipe excuse for a man.

Cut your losses. You'd have less to do as a single mum.

NotnowNigel Tue 29-Mar-16 22:09:24

You poor thing. To be so exhausted and simmering with resentment must be the worse situation. And all with a 5 week old.

I have posted on your other thread that you DO have options. But perhaps for the moment the best thing will be to focus on getting through the school holidays and surviving the next few weeks.

Is there any chance you could ask your mum/other family/friend to take the dc out for an hour to have a nap while they're out?

Also, do mention you're exhaustion to your midwife/HV. They might be able to arrange some help from a Homestart volunteer or a place at a nursery to give you some respite.

Keep posting for support.

wallywobbles Wed 30-Mar-16 07:25:16

Try earplugs. My ex was like this. Tell him you are going to be wearing earplugs, lock the door, go to sleep. It'll be hard for you not to get up, but if you give him the info and then back away he will eventually get up and deal with them. Your kids wont die, although you might think they will and he will have to step up.

Not a long term solution though.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now