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Is it true most men would rather be with women under 35?

(363 Posts)
adjani77 Fri 18-Apr-14 00:24:33

Unfortunately for me I have been reading a lot online on the "manosphere" recently and a lot about what men think about women ( or a certain kind of man). Talk about "Sexual market Value" which basically amount to women of 30+ are basically hideous monsters to men their own age and older. I see this to on dating websites where men mostly are prepared to date women 10 - 15 years younger but will often not even want to date women the same age as them!

In the press recently 2 high profile men Stephen Hendry and Rowan Atkinson have both left their wives for women half their age (both women are also dead ringers for the 1st wives!).

I find it really depressing. I understand that we can get attracted to other people but if you have a good marriage, if your man is getting love, sex, affection and friendship surely he will have no reason to stray right?

I just don't know. Perhaps I am just worried about getting older 40 in a few years and how will that affect my partners satisfaction with me?

It seems that even men who are happy and love their wives / partners can fall in love with someone else, someone younger and transfer their love and affection to another. I guess I just need to accept that nothing is ever certain in life.

Has anyone else read any of that manosphere stuff about women and SMV etc what do you think?

Stinkypinky73 Fri 18-Apr-14 00:35:10

My husband is 11 years younger than me and GOSH, I LOVE him and he loves me!! We are very happy and honestly, we grow older together as a partnership. Men who specify ages are pretty crap IME! They want a trophy wife and not a real life woman!

KissesBreakingWave Fri 18-Apr-14 00:36:54

Most men are under 35. Men over 35 tend to prefer women their own age. Except me. DP, if you're reading this, you've got six years, love.

eightandthreequarters Fri 18-Apr-14 00:40:18

I prefer men under 35. But I've grown rather fond of DH over the years, and reckon I won't dump him just because he's a long way past 35!

CheeryName Fri 18-Apr-14 00:41:01

Hmmm. I'm over 35. If that puts my husband off he hasn't told me yet. However if he was that shallow I would be well rid of him anyway.

lollerskates Fri 18-Apr-14 00:41:14

Blimey, what a lot of questions! Almost as if you were doing research! smile

Jellaby Fri 18-Apr-14 00:43:19

To quote my father 'I didn't find young women interesting when I was a young man, why would I want one now?'

It's not all men. It is men who are heavily concerned with appearing attractive and virile. I think we see it a lot because fame and the media pushes youth as the ideal onto men, and the weak minded get caught up in the fantasy.

AskBasil Fri 18-Apr-14 00:43:28

I think women need to educate themselves to not actually give a flying fuck about whether men prefer women under 35.

Because if you spend the majority of your life worrying that the man with whom you have thrown in your lot, for whom you may have given up your career and social network, will leave you for a younger model, then you are going to be a psychological car crash.

Which may be how the media would like women to be, but it is not in women's best interests. Fuck that. Be single and/ or a lesbian and/ or only have men in your life, who are worthy of you. That is, men who know you are full human beings and are with you because they value your friendship and love and companionship, not how much status being with you gives them with inadequate sexist other men.

Jellaby Fri 18-Apr-14 00:45:03

Xpost with Basil, but many of the same sentiments. Hits the nail on the head.

patienceisvirtuous Fri 18-Apr-14 00:47:19

Well I am 36, and DP is 27. So not all men are shallow twats.

KellyHopter Fri 18-Apr-14 00:50:01

You know, surely, that the type of men who talk in those sorts of terms, along with the OD guys who'll date an 18yo but not a fellow 40yo, are losers?

They're a minority who make a lot of noise.

They are angry that women dare to choose not to fuck them. That they're not as engaging or smart, or interesting as their peers.

You don't want them, honestly. Let them carry on their embarrassing, pointless little campaign to convince themselves they're only single because of their ultra high standards.

They're deluded. And funny.

Millyblods Fri 18-Apr-14 00:54:11

I think men that leave wives for a younger identical model are trying to find what they had with their wives when they were both younger and carefree. Midlife crises type thing.

BOEUFster Fri 18-Apr-14 00:58:55

Stephen Hendry obviously has superb spatial awareness and hand-eye coordination, but he is not otherwise renowned in the brains department. And Rowan Atkinson is famously obsessed with sports cars, socially-awkward, and (I imagine) massively insecure and paranoid about his Mr Bean image. I wouldn't take either of them as representative of your ordinarily sensible bloke who doesn't warm his cockles by burning fifty quid notes.

And what Basil said.

adjani77 Fri 18-Apr-14 00:59:05

Sorry all that stuff has been on my mind recently! I think you all have it right that these men are basically probably typing from their mothers basement outraged that women don't fall at their feet. Also that a lot of these men are not happy with older, mature, strong women who don't take their crap.

Perhaps this attitude is spearding due to the internet or seems more prevelent.

I really liked AskBasils view, I will try to take that on board.

KellyHopter Fri 18-Apr-14 01:01:53

Is it particularly prevalent? I wouldn't say so.

I think you need to stop read manosphere stuff, whatever it is.

KellyHopter Fri 18-Apr-14 01:02:07


adjani77 Fri 18-Apr-14 01:04:39

Kelly you are right, when I started reading it a while ago I was laughing at it but it got under my skin.

Then my mum turned 60 recently and my Dad said in jest "I don't want to be married to an old woman" it was a joke but my poor mun was so hurt and my Dad is a great guy.That bothered me too and just added to all the things worrying me.

TiggyKBE Fri 18-Apr-14 01:06:54

When your fridge is getting a bit old and knackered and isn't really up to the job any more, you get a new model to replace it. Men shouldn't be afraid of upgrading their wives now and then.


BOEUFster Fri 18-Apr-14 01:08:12

Here is an antidote to all that crap smile

Ignore Tiggy, he's just a very naughty boy...

KellyHopter Fri 18-Apr-14 01:13:17

Another antidote.

He's my age and I'd be far too young for him. If I was 10 years older I'd definitely be in with a chance of course.

Suzannewithaplan Fri 18-Apr-14 01:15:17

sure lots of men would like to be with younger women
equally sure lots of younger women wouldnt give them the time of day
so dream on grandad grin

Suzannewithaplan Fri 18-Apr-14 01:18:30

really OP what gives you the impression that men are necessarily the ones doing the 'hiring & firing'?
your ma shoulda shot back with 'and I dont want to be married to an old man' wink
if it's sauce for the goose....

adjani77 Fri 18-Apr-14 01:19:47

I think I probabaly have low self esteem so it all seems reasonable to me. Lisa Bonet I ain't.

Flexiblefriend Fri 18-Apr-14 01:20:53

The way DH tells it, when he was young, say 25, he fancied women aged 18 to 25 ish. Now he is in his 40's he fancies women from 18 to mid 40's. He seems to think its a great thing as when he gets really old women of any age will be attractive to him. grin

LyndaCartersBigPants Fri 18-Apr-14 01:21:42

Aw BOEUF that's lovely!

My DP is 35, I'm 40. He values me for everything I am and for what we have together, not for the date on my birth certificate. He is very vain an preoccupied with what others think of him, but that doesn't extend to wanting a younger woman.

His ex was the same age as him, mine was 6 years older. It really doesn't matter. If he ever went off with someone else, younger or not, it really would be the stupidest thing he ever did, I am awesome!

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