New bloke...sex is beginning to creep me out a bit

[baffledbeyond]

Hi

Name changed for this as its a bit tmi.

I've been seeing someone for 2 months now and the sex side of things is bothering me, nothing really weird or fetish however...

He doesn't like women with body hair, that's ok, I don't have any! But every time we have sex he wants to use a vibrator on me, never uses his fingers or god forbid his mouth or even offers and he can't get off with penetrative sex, has to manually do it himself, takes ages as he says hes got desensitised?.

doesn't really like me doing it for him either

He's also constantly wanting anal and I don't

And once when we were DTD he was muttering things, and sort of said I'm raping you

He obviously wasn't but it alarmed me and I suppose I am wondering if he is a big porn user or something

Sex is basically a few thrusts, vibrator comes out, then he wanks himself off?

I'm a bit WTF now, I know it takes time but I don't think that's good n bed

[mcmooncup]

Does he watch a lot of porn?
What is his relationship history?

If it's shit, it's shit. You don't owe him anything, you don't even need to work out why he might do certain things. If you don't like it......Dump.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Why are you with him at all?. He does not sound at all right for you and as for the "I'm raping you" comment?!!. Why have you not dumped him?.

[SugarandSpice126]

This really creeps me out just reading it. The muttering about rape would really scare me. If this happened to me I wouldn't stay with him. Not only is it a red flag with the rape comment etc, but if the other person didn't want penetrative sex and generally wanted everything his way, I wouldn't want to be with them. What's the relationship like generally?

[SuperiorCat]

Straight in with a LTB.

This is never going to get better

[burberryqueen]

God that sounds like crap sex
LTB

[something2say]

Sex is not good with all men. Fact.
This is a case in point!
Sorry tho, sad if you were hoping it would be different x

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Yes he's a big porn user. Or, as we used to call them in the olden days, 'a wanker'.

[EleanorHandbasket]

Yuk.

Just dump him and don't look back.

[baffledbeyond]

Thanks for replies, I'm not particularly experienced and I suppose I do come wth a vibrator so its not like I am not getting anything out of it, just seems a bit off, don't know about porn

[Casmama]

Dear God woman tht sounds soul destroying. Please don't spend any more time analysing it and dump this guy!

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

What did you learn about relationships when growing up?.

Genuine question btw.

No more analysis re him is necessary; he needs dumping and fast. This man should come with a warning.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

The reason he's probably a porn user is because everything he's doing is placing himself in some favourite fantasy scenario that he has to create in order to achieve D-I-Y orgasm. Rape, anal, toys, muttering a commentary etc... it's not about finding mutual pleasure but entirely self-oriented.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

A bloke writes: Yup, he's a heavy porn user, he's been using the deathgrip, and he's also a fuckwit. Any man who won't get down there and write the alphabet with his tongue isn't worth it.

See Dan Savage for further details.

[baffledbeyond]

sorry whats the death grip?

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

Wanking...

[expatinscotland]

He doesn't like having sex with people but with fucktoys.

As Dan Savage would write: DTMFA.

[BatwingsAndButterflies]

He uses a lot of porn and not nice porn. He probably spends a lot of time masturbating and needs the extra stimulus of his hand and the images/fantasy to orgasm.

This is not going to get better. LTB and tell him why.

[AThingInYourLife]

Yes he's a big porn user. Or, as we used to call them in the olden days, 'a wanker'.

Arf :o

Just get rid. He has made himself incapable of having sex.

The thought of sitting there while he tugs away at his desensitised dick sounds fucking grim :o

[expatinscotland]

Oh, I'd tell him. 'You're a warped, twisted mother fucker. All that shit about raping and anal and vibing is FUBAR. You use too much violent porn. It's sick and so you are. Get away from me.'

[fuzzywuzzy]

Well that's creeped me out too, don't put yourself thro this, LTB.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

How old is this charmer?

[Dawnywoo]

I thought you said it was nothing really weird...

What you have just described is totally fucking weird.

If you don't like it, and feel (understandably) uncomfortable, get rid of the fucking weirdo pronto. It can only get worse. I'm sorry, but he sounds like a total creep.

[Walkacrossthesand]

Good sex is the most intimate time you have with your partner. What you describe has no intimacy At All. Why bother?

[fuzzywuzzy]

The longer I live the more deperessed I get at the crap women are prepared to put up with.

[specialsubject]

eeewwww.

on all fronts. Can't see a lot of 'he's fun to be with and interesting company' here. And he's a crap shag with bad attitudes.

have some self-respect and move on pronto.