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New house and it doesn't feel like home :(

(26 Posts)
milkmilklemonade12 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:28:18

I feel like the worst person for writing this; I should be the most grateful person and thanking my lucky stars, but we've just moved into our first house and I'm so sorry but I'm homesick for my old house. It just doesn't feel like home. I miss our old property (rented) terribly even though it's only a few streets away.

We need a bit of work doing upstairs which admittedly is cosmetic mainly; the old tenants carpeted AROUND the wardrobes so when they moved them, we were left with huge gaping holes in every bedroom. So that needs sorting. They also took all their curtain poles, even though the exchange paperwork said they wouldn't... again, not a huge issue; more of an eye rolling when we got the keys. They also weren't careful moving their wardrobes/furniture out either, so they've ripped the paper quite obviously in places too. All of this is fixable, I know... but I miss my old house SO much. It feels like a bit of an anticlimax!

What can I do to help things along?

Pallisers Mon 03-Jul-17 19:30:07

Just give it time. I'm like you with change - a bit like the joke about how many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb - one to change it and 10 to sing about how much better the old lightbulb was.

Honestly if you are just moved in, you aren't even settled. Once everything is unpacked and you make some rooms nice, you'll feel a lot better.

grasspigeons Mon 03-Jul-17 19:30:30

Have a few friends round - then you'll have had some happy times in the new house and it will feel like home

PurpleDaisies Mon 03-Jul-17 19:32:06

We felt exactly the same to start with. Once all our stuff was unpacked and we stared living normal life it began feeling like home.

Don't judge to quickly-it's a massive upheaval and a seriously stressful time.

milkmilklemonade12 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:33:51

Thank you for the quick and kind responses!! I don't deserve them.

I suppose I feel like I've been sold a bit of a lie... I've been working up to this for 2 years; every decision I've made has been based on this. And now it's here, it feels like a bit of an anticlimax you know?

PurpleDaisies Mon 03-Jul-17 19:35:26

It's the been same for most people I know to be honest. Houses look lovely when you view them and when the furniture is all out they look rubbish. There's always more work to do than you think.

HotelEuphoria Mon 03-Jul-17 19:36:15

I missed my old house until I had decorated all the new one. I actually dreamt about my old house for years after we left.

Once the house has been decorated, furnished with your stuff and new carpets it will be yours.

It will also stop smelling of someone else's house, if that makes sense.

chupsmelad Mon 03-Jul-17 19:37:53

Agree with the others that you just need to give it time!

And yes with all the furniture out, everything looks grotty and your own furniture looks weird in a new room. It will get better!

milkmilklemonade12 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:38:23

YES!!! It smells like someone else's!!

redandwhite1 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:39:06

We recently moved too and I have to say I felt the same but as someone also said we Invited some friends round and it has felt more like home ever since! I've moved 4 times in 3 years so homes not been home for very long but it doesn't take long!

Shockers Mon 03-Jul-17 19:41:03

It took me 5 years to love this house and stop missing my old one.

I wouldn't move back now!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:41:17

I think that's quite common. We felt Ike we were on holiday in someone else's holiday house when we moved in. Didn't feel like ours at all. It does now after 14 years 😀.

I think you'll be fine,

Almostthere15 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:46:34

If they have taken stuff that they put was staying you can pursue it through your solicitor. That's what the paper work is for, they can't just leave holes in the carpet which effectively is what they've done if they said it was fitted carpet it needs to reach the walls.

On the other, it often feels a bit strange at first, open all the windows and burn some candles that you like to make it feel more like your own.

Any big life change can feel a bit anti climatic though. Lots of people get it post honeymoon don't they. All the energy that went into planning feels a bit lost

HeyRoly Mon 03-Jul-17 19:49:08

When I moved into our current house (a much wanted move) I felt unsettled for ages. I felt like I was squatting in someone else's house. Every time I walked through the front door this horrible smell hit me (eventually tracked it down to a toilet cistern block!), the carpets were rank and I hated walking over them, there was SO much decorating to be done... and so on.

It takes a while for a new house to feel like home. But it will!

MrsChopper Mon 03-Jul-17 19:52:18

It takes time. You need to make it your own. I am sure you will love it soon enough smile

NoSquirrels Mon 03-Jul-17 20:31:52

Buyer's remorse, OP. It doesn't last too long. You'll be OK, it just takes time.

We had brown water from the taps when we moved in, intermittently as well, so I wound myself up thinking of all the possible expensive reasons it might be. And damp patches that had appeared post-survey. But now it's home - those first weeks were a bit tough though, especially when everyone expects you to be over the moon!

Redglitter Mon 03-Jul-17 20:35:35

I can totally relate to your post. I moved house a few months ago. Once the initial excitement wore off I spent weeks thinking I'd done the wrong thing and had it in my head this house would never feel like home. For 2 pins I'd have gone back to my old rented flat. It didn't last. My new house totally feels like home & I love living here. Give it time. It'll be fine

HipsterHunter Mon 03-Jul-17 21:26:54

I can totally relate to your post. I moved house a few months ago. Once the initial excitement wore off I spent weeks thinking I'd done the wrong thing and had it in my head this house would never feel like home

Are you me?

I loved everything about my old house up north. Location, period features, sunny. Loved everything about my rental flat down in London. Lovely layout, nice light perfect location, great 'fealing', super kitchen.

Didn't really like much about my house that I bought in an area of London I could afford once I moved in. Looked so much worse with all the vendors diff taken out. Bad condition upstairs, lots of plumbing issues etc.

Anyway 6 months later and I've come though the other side. I sorted out upstairs. Downstairs will just have to wait a few years until I have money again but I painted it.

With my furniture in and having had friends round for dinner lots and to stay at weekends it now feels like a happy home.

Time. Time is what you need OP. And some new carpets, curtains and a lick of paint. And your friends to come round and be nice and positive. And some fresh flowers.

HipsterHunter Mon 03-Jul-17 21:27:57

I think this is really common actually but people don't really talk about it because you're meant to be so happy about your new house.

Anyway, fucking love it now.

RandomlyGenerated Mon 03-Jul-17 22:49:05

And you'll be knackered as well - all that build up is hard to live up to when you're exhausted. I always think it starts to look like home when you have your own pictures on the walls (even if the walls still need redecorating).

GardenGeek Mon 03-Jul-17 23:17:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VickieCherry Tue 04-Jul-17 12:35:08

Clean the floors, get rid of everything they left behind if they did (curtains, crap in drawers etc), and get your stuff unpacked and out as soon as possible. The smell will change as you live in it - we moved almost a year ago and it took a good two or three months before it didn't smell weird when we opened the door. I still get a whiff of the old family's smell occasionally, but I think changing the grotty carpets to wood floors soon will fix that.

We've been slowly decorating since spring and it's really starting to feel like ours now (as we purge the magnolia).

HipsterHunter Tue 04-Jul-17 14:38:25

@GardenGeek I did that too! It really helps.

ExConstance Tue 04-Jul-17 16:30:14

We have not moved for many years but our present house was a brand new ex show house when we moved in. For months I had an anguished feeling that this wasn't my home, it felt more like a hotel. 20 years on it is very much our home and we are now thinking of downsizing, I'm only hoping I don't get that feeling again.

SilenceOfThePrams Tue 04-Jul-17 18:38:14

Clean it with your regular cleaning stuff, get your washing powder in the machine, and if you can, pick the room which needs the least work, and paint it your colour. Bit by bit you'll layer your lives over the top of the previous owners and it will become your.

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