staying down a year

[star1234]

my son is in rec he is still 4 (5 in 2 weeks) i have just been told that the school want him to stay in rec for another year this is a shock as i was told he was doing well he is shy and has made a small group of friends who will all go up a year i dont want him to be bullied for staying down this will destroy any confidence he has got. He doesnt like his teacher and is so excited to be moving up what do i do

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Has his teacher explained why she wishes him to do this?

[star1234]

shes says he immature and he wont open up to her and hes below average very hard to hear that

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Hmm. He's only 4, he's going to be immature, some children just need time. As for opening up to her, this can be difficult if he thinks she's a dragon. Did she say what she thought he was below average in?

[Lymond]

Is there another Reception teacher he could go to instead?

So may summer borns could be so much happier "staying down a year" and so few of their parents ever get a school to agree to do it, that many on mn will be envious of you!

I would be asking for a longer meeting with the reception teacher, and have possible, a deputy head or the Y1 teacher. Formulate some questions for more information. I would be asking things like:

• Is it because of his academics or emotional/social reasons, or both? (We thought about keeping my son down, for emotional/social reasons, but because he was doing everything they wanted them to be doing academically, we decided not to. Didn't want to risk him getting bored with too easy academics in a year or two.)

• the relative age group of the 2 year groups he could be in. Are there lots of Sept-Nov birthdays in either group (if in Y1 then a lot older than him, if in Reception then very close to his age).

• Confirm academics with them; does he know his phonic sounds, can he blend them to read, count, write his name? Its a bit straight in at the deep end with all those things in Y1, so if he hasn't any confidence with those things it could be hard academically.

-Confirm anything socially/emotionally that they're concerned about.

[star1234]

no i got told last week he was above with his reading and hes left handed so his writing aint that great so im confused

[star1234]

and he needs to be pushed or he wont do anything

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

I think staying down is a very good idea. Girls mature alot faster then boys (most of them though) but there needs to be good reasons why a child should be held back a year, not opening up to a teacher a child doesn't like just doesn't cut it I'm afraid.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Do you think he's struggling star?

[Lymond]

Sorry, typos:

So many summer borns

if possible

Also wanted to say, try not to take offence, as it sounds like its being suggested in his best interests. (If one year group too small and one too big so they're actively recruiting to swap some year groups I would be suspicious though.)
And, go into Y1 and look at exanples of kids work. You could even ask to observe the current y1 kids in a lesson. Do you think he would cope? You know him best.

[mummytime]

If you are in England it will be very hard for a school to do this. Just write to the school saying you do not want him kept down a year.
There is plenty of research in the US which shows this doesn't help. If a child is having trouble, then trying exactly the same methods a second time does not help.

You can talk to the headteacher, the SENCo and even the LEA and parent partnership. He should still be learning phonics in year 1, and I know lots of children who were still struggling when they went into year 1.

I would just make it very formal that you do not want your son kept down a year. If he needs help they should do that in his correct year group. (The biggest issue is even if you agreed to keeping him don a year he might have to miss a year when he got to Secondary age.)

[MrsMopple]

My ds is in reception and is also one of the youngest. Our school have a number of children who stay in reception for a second year and until I spoke to another parent I didn't really understand how it worked with the rest of his time at school - would he always be a year behind his classmates?
Apparently in our school, those who stay back (and I don't know if ds will be one of them, yet, but suspect that he will) repeat some of reception, but then also spend some time with their year 1 peers each day. And then skip year 1 completely and rejoin their classmates in yr 2. Some parents feel that it is really helpful to their dc to do this. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but am will try and trust the school on this one.
Are there many in his year group repeating reception?

[star1234]

i dont think he is struggling he is reading at level 4 already i think if he is kept down the others will take the mickey and school is horrible enough without that

[star1234]

5 others r staying down i dont know wether im just on the offensive cos hes mine and i dont want to hear what the teacher said

[Rindercella]

I would think it's far better for him to stay down a year now - if that is the right thing to do for him - than perhaps struggling and having to stay down a year when he's older and has more established friendships.

It must be very tough to hear, but try and be true to what is best for your son.

DD1's b'day is 30th August. I am currently debating whether to hold her down a year when she starts school (private). It is not just about their academic ability, but also about their emotional and social development.

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

They want to keep 6 children behind! Are they all with the same teacher?

[star1234]

yeah same teacher

[belledechocolatefluffybunny]

Hmm. Do you think that this is more about her teaching??

[Lymond]

That's a lot staying down!

I'm suspicious now - I'd be asking the Head, do they have too many kids for Y1 and not enough for Reception or something??

Level 4 (in ORT? The Biff and Kipper books?) Is fine for the end of Reception, and obviously left handers to find writing hard, as do many summer born boys, so he's got a bit of a double toughie there, but poor handwriting is not a reason I would accept for a child to be held down.

[star1234]

yes level 4 reading in the biff and kipper books

[muddleduck]

Sounds to me like this is happening so that the school can maintain appropriate class sizes.

This happens at our school. Whenever there is a big intake some of those children will be 'kept down' in reception.

You need to find out if the school are doing this because they need to, or because they think it is in the best interests of your child. Ask whether there would be space for him in a year 1 class if this is what you want.

in your situation I would have fought hard to keep my son from being 'kept down' - it is all about what you and the teachers think is best for him.

[CantSupinate]

Is he actually staying in reception, or is he going to be in a mixed Yr-R Yr-1 reception class? I suspect OP is mixing up two different things.

It is extremely rare for a child to truly stay in reception, but mixing the least able cohort of Yr-1s with reception is not unusual.

[muddleduck]

In our school (where this happens) it is technically a mixed YR/Y1 class but given that it has so few Y1 children in it is generally perceived as a Reception class with a few Y1 being 'held back'/

[Runoutofideas]

Is sounds like being kept down could be socially quite damaging for him, especially as you say he's shy and doesn't find making friends that easy. I would be fighting for him to stay with his peer group. The year 1 teacher should be able to deal with a range of abilities, although his reading sounds fine to me.

I help out in my dd's reception class and the huge range of ability has surprised me. There are children in her class still on the pink level books and children who cannot recognise number 1-5 or count 10 objects - no-one is suggesting these children are kept back a year.....

It may be that they feel he'll benefit from more foundation stage in that he'll have more free play time and less structured "work". Is he a child who finds siting still on the carpet difficult? (Definitely not unusual for 4 year olds...) I would try to get to the bottom if it with the head, but I can't see how spending another year with a teacher he hasn't gelled with would be beneficial.

[thirdname]

hm, yes, happens with us all the time, but they are realy considered a mixed class. Not caused problems with dc2. As mentioned by someone already, in some activities they were joining the other year 1 children.

[Fine5hope]

Found this thread very helpful and beneficial to me and my child. I have a 6 year old who was at an extremely pressurised school so I moved her to a nurturing school as she has a medical condition and has hospital appointments, she was also starting treatment every 3 months for only 3 days. When moving I wasn't in a good place as didn't know her proper medical needs. At the time there weren't any spaces in her year that she was going into (year 1) so I decided together with the head teacher that she should repeat a year. I wanted her out of her old school immediately as she was loosing confidence rapidly. I now wished I had waited as the school I moved her to is so less pressured. I feel that after her repeating reception and going into year 1 for the first term she is now ready to move up into her proper year. The head is saying that socially my daughter isn't ready (not really understanding what that means as my daughter is friendly with year 2's as well). I said she is now reading and I am seeing that the work is too easy. She said that Year 2 is a real jump and that my daughter will not keep up with it. I am so torn over this as in one way my daughter (who I forgot to add is an end of July year child) is so happy in her class and loves going to the school, but on the other hand I don't feel that her work load is to her full potential. There is one other boy who has stayed down in another year. In my daughters year there is another child who is a September child so my daughter doesn't feel like she is the oldest and there is a child apparently who is bright and is a year ahead in her year. I did approach this same subject with the head when she was in Reception and she said that she wasn't ready then and that there is no spaces. Since then 2 new children have gone into the year above so there were spaces made available for those outside children.