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"Are you sure it is not twins?"

(106 Posts)
Maya15 Mon 18-May-15 19:23:35

Just need to let off a bit of steam:
I am 30w pregnant and gained a normal amount of weight with a normal sized bump. Went to a wedding this weekend, felt pretty in my dress and met another friend of the couple. Had not seen that friend since I was 13w pregnant (and not showing back then). He thought I was due any day and when I told him I still had 10 weeks he asked if I was sure it is not twins?
Why does anyone ever think it is acceptable to say something like that? I mean do people really think with modern medicine, scans etc you would have another baby hiding in there? Why do people think they have the right to comment on your bump size? I am growing a baby FFS.
I told him I thought he was inappropriate asking that and he apologized but still feel a bit angry about it.

Steph1502 Mon 18-May-15 19:27:21

I'm on DC4 and this has been a pet hate of mine since my first!! Way to make me feel marvellous buddy!! Cheers! I'm sure you look awesome. Nothing lovelier than a beautiful bump smile congrats x

batfish Mon 18-May-15 19:30:25

It's bizarre how people think that just because you're pregnant you suddenly won't mind being called fat - when in actual fact it's the very last thing you want as there is sod all you can do about it unlike when someone calls you fat (not that they ever would) when you're not pregnant and you can go on a diet!

newtonupontheheath Mon 18-May-15 19:31:38

The woman in the canteen at work keeps saying this to me. Cheeky moo. It's not twins it's all the sodding chips I keep eating grin

Grantaire Mon 18-May-15 19:32:34

I genuinely think most people mean nothing by it. It's a throwaway comment. People can't actually think of much to say about pregnancy and the trite old 'what are you hoping for', 'gosh are you sure it isn't twins' and 'enjoy your sleep while you can' might be interpreted as rude but I like to think most people are good, fair, nice folk who are just saying things to fill a gap in the conversation.

I certainly wouldn't get angry about it. Unless this person is an unkind, enormous wazzock who takes delight in upsetting people. Otherwise, I'd let it go now.

FoxSticks Mon 18-May-15 19:33:04

I had this with both my pregnancies. Rude and annoying.

LizziW Mon 18-May-15 19:33:35

I really sympathise! When I was 30w preg with ds2 I went for a family meal. Yes I am petite so my baby bump was big but my dh cousin repeatedly questioned if I had my dates wrong! (She has 3 kids so is well aware of how accurate scans are). Just made me feel like a big lump, it's so weird what people think they can say when you're pregnant!

ISpyPlumPie Mon 18-May-15 20:01:19

Same happened to me with DC2. Went to a wedding two months before he was born and all I got was "are you sure there's only one in there?" "it's going to be enormous" and "seven months? surley not, it'll be any day now". Singleton 7lb10oz Ds2 was bormn just at term thus proving all if the amateur obstetricians completely wrong grin.

I know it's only small talk but it's frigging annoying isn't it?

lauraa4 Mon 18-May-15 20:05:33

Oh people say to me all the time 'oh look how big you are for 21 weeks!'

I feel like saying oh piss off will you! Everyone grows at different rates and some people carry more water than others. Those comments get so bloody boring

MustBeLoopy390 Mon 18-May-15 20:12:47

'You are huge!' Yes, actually I have gained a little weight, some amniotic fluid and a baby recently...
'Any day now!' No, actually you first said this when I was 24 weeks. 16 WEEKS before due date.
'I bet you're fed up and just want baby now' no actually, as much as I am uncomfortable, sweaty and unbearably hormonal I would prefer to stay like this for at least another 6 weeks, I don't want to have an unnecessarily premature baby as I'm not a selfish twat and my discomfort is nothing compared to seeing what a prem baby goes through.
'I heard that carrying like you are is all down to fat/genetics/sex of baby' I carry how I carry because I just fucking do.
Pretty sick of rude people tbh! And breathe... smile

BlueBee Mon 18-May-15 20:23:18

I keep getting this and I just say "no not twins, I've always been fat haven't I though" then they back track and try to be nice ha. I don't really care. I'm growing a human! I'm awesome! grin

Nottalotta Mon 18-May-15 21:47:23

I get this regularly from a very fat colleague. I would never normally comment on her weight (and haven't done, only in my head) but she persists in the 'you're huge' and 'how many have you got in there's comments. I really feel like replying 'not as many as you've got, clearly' but I wouldn't be so rude.

I am 29+2 and have 3 maternity dresses. Still wearing my size 12 + 14 jersey work dresses.

Furrypiglet Mon 18-May-15 21:52:00

There's a man at work who asks me every time I see him whether I really think there's only one in there. He also welcomes me to meetings with a cheery 'Hi Lumpy!'

He looks like Uncle Fester and one day I'm going to tell him so.

Jemimapuddlemuck Mon 18-May-15 21:59:10

YANBU it's rude and unnecessary. It makes me sad that I don't have any pictures of me pregnant because all the "ooh you're huge" comments made me feel horrible. I wasn't huge in retrospect, gained normal amount of weight and had normal sized babies but all those twattish comments convinced me I was some sort of a behemoth! People will come on and tell you to lighten up and not be touchy but YANBU at all.

ARV1981 Mon 18-May-15 22:00:33

Yeah, I have a (fat) colleague who I swear looks more pregnant than me keep asking if it's twins. I want to throttle the bitch or at least say something along the lines of "mine will be gone in a few weeks - you'll always be fat" but of course I can't say something so rude!
Why do people think it's appropriate to mention your body shape when you're pregnant but wouldn't dream of saying anything if you weren't!

mandy214 Mon 18-May-15 22:07:33

I agree its inappropriate but am sure as others have said that its just small talk.

That's coming from someone who did have twins - and was genuinely huge. I had "oh my god, I'd have died if I'd ended up with twins", er no, I don't think you would, and "how are you going to cope? It'll be a nightmare" Gee thanks.

Toothfairy7 Mon 18-May-15 22:15:36

I'm experiencing exactly the same... I'm almost 24 weeks now and yes, bump is growing well now and is rounded and at the front.. Every day at least one comment will be made ( but usually more than one to be fair) on the fact that it is a huge bump already and am I really sure its not twins or that I'm going to give birth to a baby elephant or how large it will be when it comes out . And that it is getting bigger by the day! ( funny that?!!) . Doesn't upset me however, because I love my bump how it looks and am very excited etc etc, but yes repetitive comments can be a little annoying lol. So I do understand where you are coming from.. But let's face it, iv had three scans all confirming the same date, measurements etc.. and that there is clearly one baby inside... Who cares what others think though ladies... Not their body or bump after all... Enough said!! Enjoy!

Mangobubbles Mon 18-May-15 22:21:35

When I was 30 weeks pregnant with my third baby, my sister started "affectionately" calling me "whale" every five minutes. After a few days I told her that it made me feel really crap so she had stopped. Now I'm 37 weeks and do look and feel like a whale!

MinionDave Mon 18-May-15 22:27:36

I used to get this All the time with Ny DS.

He did end up weighing 9lb 7oz at birth though (and he was a few days early!) grin

AbbeyRoadCrossing Mon 18-May-15 22:32:46

I think it is rude OP!
I've always had the opposite as I carry small which is also annoying. The worst are the concerned faces with "is the baby going to be ok?" Or "are you dieting / eating properly?" I usually explain that my scans show the baby is big for dates. In fact my premature DS was nearly 7lb - imagine if he'd been term!
So big or small you can't win

Roseotto Mon 18-May-15 23:51:31

People have said this to me - I have lost a twin in a previous pregnancy and it really pisses me off! They are not to know, but it is just rude.
The next person will tell you how neat you are and all bump, I genuinely think it's just something to say!

Nottalotta Tue 19-May-15 05:25:26

The fat colleague who says it to me isn't using it as small talk. She is being unpleasant. There's no need for it. If I so much as sigh she comments about how badly I am coping, how Will i manage when I get even bigger and so on. You actually couldn't tell that she was pregnant even at 2 weeks before she was due. Its rude.

changingagain Tue 19-May-15 06:27:47

My DM said this to me at 23 weeks. Apparently I was as big as Michelle I don't know who Michelle is was just before giving birth to her twins. I tried to laugh it away and she told me she was being serious, maybe one was hiding behind the other at the 4 scans that I've had hmm

changingagain Tue 19-May-15 06:30:44

Oh and on the same day she told me she though the sonographer was wrong about it being a boy because my bump is girl shaped. I stupidly looked up what she might mean, seems the old wives tale is that a neat bump is a boy, generally looking fat all over is a girl. Thanks Mum!

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 19-May-15 09:57:41

The only dodgy comments I've had have been from women about my age (26) or slightly younger who clearly have had no experience of being around pregnant women or pregnancy itself. Or indeed keeping thoughts inside their own heads.

With the exception of a relative of my husband who so greatly disliked me calling her out on her rude comments that she hasn't spoken to me since January. I consider that a success! grin

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