Although my boyfriend and I are very careful when it comes to contraception I have just found out that I am pregnant. I am 27 and he is 26 and we have spoken in the past about our different feelings when it comes to having kids, I've always wanted them, he doesn't. We have often spoken about marriage and spending the rest of our lives together but in all honesty we sort of swept the kids issue under the carpet with a "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" attitude. Well we are now at that bridge, albeit much earlier than either of us expected to be, and his stance has definitely not changed. He never fully shared his reasons with me until I told him I was pregnant and we'd tried to discuss our options. His worries include the fact that he thinks he is going to die young, we lost his father 2 years ago at the age of 53, and that because he suffered from drug addiction in teenage years that any child we have will suffer the same problems, as well as the financial implications of suppporting a child and that he is angry that his "life is over" if we have a child. Although I understand his concerns I don't want to have an abortion. The physical and emotional effects of abortion that I have witnessed and researched are too much for me too risk and I feel that if I agree to terminate my pregnancy then I will regret it for the rest of my life. I have in the past suffered from depression and the thought of possibly facing that again terrifies me.
The worst part about all of this is that I feel that whatever decision we make our relashionship will breakdown either way. If I have an abortiin because of his wishes then I will resent him for it, and I fear that if we contuinue with the pregnancy and have a child then he will resent both me and our child.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this. Any advice anyone could share would be hugely appreciated, I don't know how to fix this.
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Pregnancy
I have just found out I am pregnant but my boyfriend doesn't want kids
24 replies
kdakota · 24/02/2014 23:45
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