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Fantastic, fabulous 40+ Mums-to-be! Part 3

(1000 Posts)
eagleray Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:19

We've run out of space so here's a new thread so we can support each other and talk about the trials, tribulations and utter joy at being pregnant at 40+

All new members welcome smile

notsoold Fri 05-Apr-13 05:09:25

Scarecrow...Rebeccajames is our newbie on this thread....

notsoold Fri 05-Apr-13 05:09:39


scarecrow22 Fri 05-Apr-13 08:15:52

doh! blush

still gorgeous name smile

somewherebecomingrain Sat 06-Apr-13 13:01:08

Been quiet as Internet hard to get on the ward. Am down from my diamorphine fug but still v happy.

Scarecrow good news for u ELCSs rock, as you might put it. More awareness of what's happening and therefore nerves but is there anything more relaxing than listening to the anethsatists cracking silly jokes while they cut you open? And the incision hurts much much less than the EMCS incision did basically cause they took their time and keep it small.

Dd is sooo cute I'm in love. Baby somewhere.

Can't remember who
Asked but ds is intensely interested for all
Of one minute then wants to get on with his life (being a superhero
And climbing on furniture). He's all yes, a sister, lovely, but can I just get in with my thing? He's uncannily like my father and indeed many men! But no outright hostility - just ambivalence which is totally fair enough. Anyway it's early days.

Hugs to all pg ladies notsoold Jbrd cycle sparkly and welcome back Rebecca xxx

BadMissM Sat 06-Apr-13 13:19:02

Glad to hear all is well Somewhere Much love to you and Baby Somewhere!! Glad also to hear ELCS's rock, as I'm hoping to get one, eventually!

Right, off to sew. The pregnant Carmen Miranda costume is being recycled into a Batman super-heroine (complete with bump), I am taking LO to the local Goth hangout tonight!

cyclecamper Sat 06-Apr-13 16:25:54

That sounds fun, badmiss!

My sewing today was much duller - taking up the shoulders of a dress that was given to me so that the cross-over chest doesn't gape alarmingly (unfortunate side effect of reasonably generous bosum paired with a very short body high waist). It's done the jobsmile.

Glad it's going well somewhere.

DoTheStrand Sat 06-Apr-13 16:27:47

Hello all, can I join you please? I am 42 (just! Luckily my birthday celebrations earlier in the week were relatively low key). I found out I am pregnant about an hour ago. It is very early days but I technically conceived when I was 41 not 42 smile. DH is ahem in his early 50s and is feeling rather pleased with himself.

I don't mind admitting I am very nervous - I have 2 DS already, a v lively 3.5 year old and a fat placid 14 month old, plus 2 DSSs (both pretty much grown up now). This is my fifth pregnancy (had two MMC, one before DS1 and one before DS2). I know that the second MC was because of a 'chromosomal abnormality due to maternal age' so DH and I are both pleased but cautious. Which is kind of why I am here - I won't be telling anyone in real life (apart from my best friend who is also trying TTC and is over 40), but I want to be able to talk to someone about it! Over the past 5 years I've been through successful pregnancies, unsuccessful pregnancies, bleeding that was bad news, bleeding that wasn't bad news, CVS etc etc and right now it all seems like I'm at the bottom of a huge mountain looking up at the summit, so I thought facing it with likeminded people was my best bet.

Anyway sorry if this seems like a bit of a ramble, I am still slightly in shock!

So hello all and congratulations Somewhere on the arrival of BabySomewhere, sorry I haven't read the whole of this thread yet but she sounds absolutely adorable - I hope you are getting lots of cuddles and some sleep.

scarecrow22 Sat 06-Apr-13 19:37:50

Welcome Strand! I joined for just same reasons in early pregnancy and now have just days to go. We have shared problems, laughs, some sorrows but mostly simply friendship among people who think it's fab to be pg after 40, shout at the BBC about it occasionally, and remember Wham! Rap and leg warmers.

Somewhere - lovely to have news, especially such encouraging news. I'm glad you are so in love with DD - you have been a source of much hopeful, sometimes spine strengthening advice on this issue. We have both held the faith, and obviously rightly so. DS sound delightfully normal and sane about it all too. Keep savouring the cuddles and remember to act up the needy new mum thing as long as you possibly can. Ime as soon as you leap up and about the help melts quickly and it's harder to summon back.

Bad Miss loving sound of costume. And Goth night! Are you a goth, or is it more a "theme" <feels rather square having to ask>

I've had a slightly unsettling few days. MW at routine appointment though my itching quite extreme - basically all over legs, torso and arms, front and back, and almost raw in places. As a precaution she sent away more bloods to test for a liver problem which can be linked to full term stillbirth. Today I heard the enzymes are up a bit so was called in for more bloods, which they will test on Monday: if there is no problem all fine, if I have signs of problem they might bring forward CS. I don't want to unduly worry you all, but I was thinking itching fine as wasn't on palms or soles, but it seems if it is particularly bad it's worth having the extra tests, or at least talking to mw or GP. Also stress this is only a small chance of something linked to a small chance of something. I just want to pass on the info to store and hopefully never use! I wanted to not post until knew all fine, but can't really post about anything else as seems false and empty. Am obviously a bit concerned but mostly feel hospital being uber cautious - and kind. Mw who rang got me onto a ctg in the day assessment unit as she could see I wanted some reassurance, and LO was v happy inside smile

On a more positive note have had dream lovely day with DD and had a haircut. Going use spa vouchers from work for pedicure and eyebrow wax next week, and I'll be ready for anything smile

Sorry not name checked more. Waves to all xx

somewherebecomingrain Sun 07-Apr-13 11:45:44

Welcome strand i second scarecrow and well described re the mountain I remember feeling slightly the same way tho for mental rather than medical reasons.

badmiss you deserve an ELCS and it's really worth fighting for. Knowing exactly what's going to happen weirdly increases nerves but on balance nerves are less, and stress is vastly less. My hosp has a discrete ELCS unit that doesn't get interrupted except by the most extraordinary of emergencies. They are a team who work to make it all as smooth as possible - uniquely, they can be confident it will be smooth so they make the most of it on the mums behalf. So much so it was ALMOST anticlimactic but this is one event where i praise god for that!

So how does a pg Carmel Miranda costume become a batman costume??? You are indefatigable badmiss.

scarecrow I feel for you that's exactly how I felt when I was told I had polyhydramnios which is also linked to bad outcomes but only in a very few cases. I hope it isn't eating you up too much - I found mums net threads stuffed with people telling their stories of that particular complication and how it all turned out fine were v reassuring - they all said stay away from google which I didn't do but their stories were a powerful counterpoint to the panic google can cause. you are being watched carefully so I know it will be fine. An early c section is there to head off any hazards they identify. Looking forwards to you having your little loved one in your arms soon! No more than 10 days now!


Animol Mon 08-Apr-13 08:32:32

Welcome strand!

Thanks for the update somewhere congratulations again

I mentioned the possibility of an ELCS to my doc last week - I think he thought I was mad. I've had 4 'normal' births and I feel a bit like going for what seems a bit like the 'easier' option. The thought of actually knowing when the baby was coming and even being able to plan it slightly sounds really good to me. My doc said if I was really traumatised by the idea of a normal birth then of course I could have a CS but I know I'm not - but I'm worried about what state my pelvic floor will be in after 5 births - it'S not that great now sad

I really don't know whether to pursue it - and I can't really talk to people in RL about it - so great that you're all here! What do you think? Is it easier - worth the risk of major surgery - ?

Animol Mon 08-Apr-13 08:34:32

scarecrow all the best

JBrd Mon 08-Apr-13 09:34:37

Welcome to the newbies! Good to see that I'm not the 'youngest' on the thread anymore grin

7+1 today, and still a bit worried/confused about the lack of symptoms. I get some dizzy spells, and sometimes feel just rough, but no nausea or actual sickness. With DS, I was praying to the porcelain good every morning at this stage. Ah well, I guess I should be grateful. But I am worried about whether there is actually a baby in there...

But at least the care is better this time round - my GP got my a super-fast referral to the haematologist consultant (I was gobsmacked, 2 days for the letter with the appt in 2 weeks to arrive!), which I saw last week. All pretty straightforward, she gave me the heparin injections, which I now will be taking daily up to until 6 weeks after birth. As unpleasant as that is, it's a big load off my mind that they managed to get this going so quickly this time.

Animol I can't speak for ELCS, I've had an emergency cs with DS, but will need to discuss a planned delivery with the consultant at one point because of my medical history - on one hand, I like the idea of knowing exactly what's coming your way and being able to plan for it, on the other hand, it is major abdominal surgery and not to be taken lightly. I recovered really well from mine, but I know a lot of people who struggled with complications afterwards. You are definitively impaired in mobility and everything else, even struggling to walk up and down stairs (not to mention just getting in or out of bed!). And I had complications during the surgery and ended up needing a blood transfusion, it actually was touch and go for a while (DH was asked to leave the room and wait outside with DS) - something that could happen even with a planned cs. So there are lots of pros and cons... Sorry, not sure if that helps you! I think that overall, a natural birth is preferrable (but I know that I will definitely contemplate an ELCS closer to the time myself!).

And my midwife finally called last night to schedule the booking appointment for next week - now it really is starting to feel more real! She's going to try and arrange a scan date for me beforehand, even though she's on leave this week.

And if I didn't have enough going on already, I have just handed in my notice at work, finishing this week... Then I have 2 weeks off (bliss!) before starting my new job at the end of April. My head is spinning a bit - so obviously, I need to spend some time on Mumnet grin

Animol Mon 08-Apr-13 10:15:19

Hi Jbird thanks for the detailed reply - how long did all that impaired mobility go on for? Maybe I should just forget the idea - I don't know. Think I'm about 10 days ahead of you - due on 13thNov.

JBrd Mon 08-Apr-13 10:54:06

Animol In my case, I had about 2-3 weeks where I was struggling with even the basic things like stairs, getting up/sitting down. Couldn't walk for any length of time. And you're not allowed to drive for at least 4 weeks, depending on your insurance. The pain was manageable, I only ever took paracetamol, but then again, I did have a smooth recovery, no infection or anything. And I was lucky that DH was around for a bit longer than the usual 2 weeks, and obv no other DCs at the time, either! No idea how I would cope this time, other than asking my mother or the PILs to come and help out (am not too keen on that!).
It's a tough one! Have you spoken to your midwife about options yet?

somewherebecomingrain Mon 08-Apr-13 12:56:43

Hey animol I think I was raving about ELCS cause a) I was on morphine and b) it was so much better than EMCS. I think a straightforward vb is always preferable to either. It's just so few people seem to have such a thing. It sounds like you do. But then if this is your fifth it does make sense to give the pelvis a break if you can.

I'm a bit pissed off they put me on bloody codeine - have gone cold turkey today and its put me in a huge grouch. It was totally unnecessary. But the reason thats worth mentioning is the pain of c section really is surprisingly manageable. Blood loss and anaemia made my EMCS recovery terribly hard. The absence of both after this ELCS makes a dramatic diff,

jbrd so pleased you are getting swift effective care re your blood issue this time, and rooting for you all the way.


DoTheStrand Mon 08-Apr-13 13:08:33

Thanks for the welcomes smile I had a bit of bleeding almost immediately after posting on Saturday, hoping it is just implantation bleeding (which I have had with each pregnancy) though it was slightly different this time. It has stopped now so am just going to wait a few days then test again and hopefully all will be well. if not then we'll keep trying so you will (I hope) see me back here soon whatever happens.

Animol, re ELCS, I have had two. I found them very straightforward and easy to recover from. I had them both privately - not sure that would make much difference to the op (as most private obs also do NHS work) apart from the fact that you are probably more likely to get bumped from the schedule because of emergencies coming in on the NHS. But I imagine that the postnatal care will make a big difference so if I was having one on the NHS I'd look into my local hospital's reputation on that score. A friend of mine who had an ELCS on the NHS also really had to fight for decent painkillers once she was home which I think is appalling. (Slightly O/T but pretty much everything I got by going private was what every new mother should get postnatally on the NHS - peace and quiet, someone answering your buzzer you when you call, reasonable food and a clean shower. but that's a whole other thread...).

I was told to keep my painkillers topped up - I felt pretty good but then really noticed when I forgot to take one. They can make you constipated but the nurses gave me liquid laxative which solved that problem.

I didn't have family help but I did have a cleaner and I arranged for someone from DS1's nursery to collect and bring him back. General 'looking after' stuff including bathing both boys was fine (DH wasn't around much last time as he started a new job when DS2 was 6 days old). Re driving, my broker said that there is no official limit, it is just that if you drive when you are still unwell and have an accident then that will be seen as a contributory factor. I'd check with your own insurer though.

Personally an ELCS was always what i wanted but I appreciate not everyone feels that way. I expect that one factor in my quick recoveries each time was that I got the kind of birth I wanted (I am a control freak). Of course good postnatal care when I was in hospital helped enormously too. If you have family near then rope them in to help. I would never advise any one to have an ELCS as it is such a personal thing but they are much improved from how they used to be, and very different to emergency ones (my mum had 4 ELCSs, under GA, with the old vertical incision - luckily things have changed a lot!)

Just previewed my post and it is immense, sorry. Well done if anyone reads the whole thing!

Animol Mon 08-Apr-13 14:15:10

Thanks for all the replies ladies!

I'm not in the Uk so the system over here (Germany) is all a bit different anyway - eg you don't see a midwife before the birth you see a gyneacologist about once a month. Also - they don't believe in gas and air - they offer epidural or aromatherapy and not much in between sad no actually i did get pethidin once which helped a little bit. Part of me to be honest is just scared of that pain again - i know the actual birth and afterwards is wonderful and I recovered pretty quickly - oh dear I don't know! I think I'll talk to a doctor friend of mine once we've started telling people.

Thanks again for all the replies.

scarecrow22 Tue 09-Apr-13 12:21:53

introducing babyScarecrow. born a little earlier than planned by CS at 9.6. a healthy 7 lb 4 at 38wks. dark hair and eyes like sister and daddy grin no name yet!
still in recovery but will return soon. thank you all for so much wonderful friendship. xxx

Animol Tue 09-Apr-13 12:35:45

Oh amazing! Congratulations!!!!

JBrd Tue 09-Apr-13 12:40:11

Wonderful news, congratulations! flowers

sparklysapphire Tue 09-Apr-13 14:34:23

Congratulations scarecrow! I wasn't expecting to see that as I've just been catching up on the thread, so to find your news as one of the last posts was quite a surprise! I hope you're feeling ok and recovering well (and that your DH is pleased too).

Belated congratulations too, to MrsW, somewhere and chairman, I hope you and your LOs are all doing well.

We got back from holiday on Saturday morning, so I've been trying to catch up ever since, as internet access was limited and even it hadn't been I wouldn't have had much chance to read never mind post.

The holiday went ok, MIL delighted to be getting a second grandchild, though disapppointed in DH's reaction. It was much easier to be sharing living space on neutral terrority, as soon as we got back and she started taking over our kitchen I got really irritated, not helped by us all being a bit jet-lagged. We've had 2 weeks in Florida as MIL was very keen to take DD to Disneyworld. Not our first choice, but as MIL has dodgy knees which are getting worse, she was only just coping with the amount of walking we had to do, and leaving it much longer meant she wouldn't be up to it at all. DD had a lovely time and didn't complain once about the walking.

Hope everyone else is doing ok, DD now wanting me to do stuff with her so have to go before she erases my post!

cyclecamper Tue 09-Apr-13 17:14:40

Congratulations Scarecrow and welcome baby Scarecrow flowersflowersflowers. Fantastic news! Everyone is going over to the oter side very fast!

Welcome DoTheStrand smile

Waves to everyone else smile.

BadMissM Tue 09-Apr-13 18:36:47

CONGRATULATIONS SCARECROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thanks thanks thanks I'll be the only one left on here soon!!!

Finally seen own GP though, and she said she would recommend an ELCS at 38 weeks though!!!

Animol Tue 09-Apr-13 19:37:16

Don't worry BadMissM - I've still got 32 weeks to go! Seems like a very very long time........

notsoold Tue 09-Apr-13 23:01:11

Scarecrow congratulations!!!! Xxxxxx

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