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Any Catholics around? Need advice re Mass card

(18 Posts)
FurryDogMother Mon 13-Jun-16 20:05:05

I'm actually an atheist, but a friend of ours died suddenly recently, and he was a devout Catholic. I think it would give his widow (also a believer) some comfort to have a Mass said for him, and so I'm planning on getting a Mass card and taking it to a local priest for signing. I understand it's usual to make a donation to the church when requesting this, but I have absolutely no idea what sort of amount of money would be appropriate, and I don't want to embarrass either myself or the priest by getting it wrong. Can you advise, please? We have a below average income, but we're not broke, if you see what I mean - but I'd like some concrete amounts suggested if possible, rather than 'what you can afford', because I quite honestly can't quantify that!

Any advice very much welcomed, and please don't label me a hypocrite for doing something which I personally believe will have no effect, as such - it will help his widow and family, and that's what I want to do.

If it's a bad idea, for whatever reason (apart from the hypocrisy I mentioned above), please let me know that, too! Many thanks if you can help smile

DeloresJaneUmbridge Mon 13-Jun-16 20:09:14

Tbh I think its just what you can afford.
I think its a lovely idea.

FinnMcCool Mon 13-Jun-16 20:14:51

That's nice of you to do to offer comfort.

MillieMoodle Mon 13-Jun-16 20:20:35

I wouldn't know how much, maybe £10?

It's a really lovely idea; that fact that you are atheist and are going to the trouble of having a Mass said for your friend even more so; you sound like a fab friend! I have always been very touched when people have done the same for me. flowers for you on the loss of your friend.

cocochanel21 Mon 13-Jun-16 20:21:44

I usually put £10 inside the card when I take it to the priest to sign.

I'm sure his wife will appreciate your thoughtfulness at this sad time.

Ilovewillow Mon 13-Jun-16 20:24:41

I'm sorry I don't know as I'm CofE but wanted to say what a lovely gesture!

FurryDogMother Mon 13-Jun-16 20:31:22

Thanks all - now I have an idea of an appropriate amount - very grateful for the advice, because I was totally clueless and a little worried that I'd get it wrong smile

apivita Mon 13-Jun-16 20:32:52

I'd go with £10. Will you let her know that mass will be offered for her late husband? It'll give her much solace. star

FurryDogMother Mon 13-Jun-16 20:48:59

As I understand it., I get the Mass card (from Amazon, strangely enough!), then take it to a local priest to get it signed, which means he'll include our friend as a 'mention' (not too sure about this bit!) in a given Mass. I then send (or give, but I'm not in the same country at the moment - she's in Ireland, I'm in the UK, but live in Ireland most of the time) the Mass card to our friend's widow, which lets her know that a Mass has been/is being said for our 'intentions'. Foreign territory to me, as you may notice from this slightly garbled explanation!

duckyneedsaclean Mon 13-Jun-16 20:52:05

Yeah, you've got it pretty much. You can usually buy the cards at the back of church after mass, btw.

And yeah, I'd have said £10-20.

FurryDogMother Mon 13-Jun-16 21:16:57

One more question - how long does the 'average' as in daily, 10 am, Mass last? I was planning to turn up at the end of it and approach the priest afterwards. Would be a bit odd for me to be there for the whole thing (though have stood at the back during funeral Masses before now, but those are. I think, a bit different). Nort entirely sure where I'd find the priest at any other time of day!

Thanks so much for all the help smile

apivita Mon 13-Jun-16 21:36:02

Daily mass is probably quite quick. Maybe 30 min? No singing or lots of people to do peace with! Weekend mass would be longer. So an hour?

I'd try and email the parish - there's usually a secretary who'll deal with the emails and information like that. You can make a request for the mass to be said when your friend usually attends? Or go to the prespretry during working hours.

FurryDogMother Mon 13-Jun-16 21:41:36


birchygoo Tue 14-Jun-16 15:22:49

A very lovely gesture! It will be most appreciated by the family and will bring lots of comfort.
£10 is plenty for a mass.
There are 3 different types you can get. A pre-signed mass card which costs about £1.50 and the person will be remembered remembered in a mass daily with many others for a month.
A full mass card (which you are talking about). Around 10 donation is suitable -a full mass is dedicated to that person and they are mentioned by name. Or a perpetual mass card - donation 10 get a leather backed card. Person is on a list prayed for daily for life (not mentioned by name).
These options can be talked over with people who work with the priests and help arrange to post these out to people. One society that helps is society of African missons. I only knkw the ones in Ireland -google dromantine Newry. They will be able to help you. Or you can buy one and take it to your local priest. Whichever is easiest for you.

FurryDogMother Wed 15-Jun-16 08:55:57

Again, thanks - am waiting for the card to arrive and think I'll give the priest a ring and arrange a time to go have a chat with him. The funeral (in Ireland) is today, wish I could be there, but circumstances mean I can't. My husband's a pall bearer though, so he's representing both of us.

passportmess Wed 15-Jun-16 09:01:41

Furry, you seem like a truly lovely friend. flowers As it happens, I'm Catholic and know about Mass cards but wouldn't know what the appropriate amount is so this thread has been helpful for me.

BoatyMcBoat Wed 15-Jun-16 09:05:35

That is so kind, and a very thoughtful gift.

eatyourveg Wed 15-Jun-16 09:49:00

If its only 30 mins I would go to the whole thing rather than turn up at the end. You don't have to believe in any of it to take part - just be there. His widow would probably really appreciate the gesture of the mass card even more.

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