Nightmare bedtime

[CJ1990]

Hello!

Just after some advise. My 1 year old has always hated bed time. She goes down for naps ok the majority of the time with the occasional moan / fuss. Bed time is another story! As soon as she’s out of the bath that’s it, absolute melt down. Pretty sure it’s because she knows what’s coming as we’ve tried earlier bed time, later bed time, night light, music...🤦‍♀️It’s not what you say is relaxing but I’m not sure what new routine to do. We do teeth, bath, change, feed, story then bed.

I feel the stressful bedtime is why her sleeps awful too! Any ideas would be massively appreciated!!

[Rosebud1302]

Hi OP. I just wanted to say that your routine is identical to mine and I have found since my boy turned 1 a few weeks ago, the getting changed part after the bath is HELL. The kicking, crying, crocodile rolling is so stressful for him and me so I feel your pain! To be honest I was just thinking it is because he is tired and worn out from the day as he doesn't dislike bedtime but I am waiting to see other people's responses.

Do you find the entire routine is a stressful time or just the changing part?

[Yogurtcoveredricecake]

I try to make the bedtime part as short as possible - it's just a cup of milk, into sleeping bag, brush teeth then into cot. That bit takes about 10 minutes max.

I found that putting him in PJs (or just a vest while it's been warm) helped as it was quicker to dress him compared to a sleep suit. He doesn't find baths or stories relaxing, he does however like cbeebies so as soon as he's dressed we head back downstairs to see what Iggle Piggle is up to. It's probably crap parenting but we're both tired by that stage so whatever works!

[CJ1990]

The entire routine is stressful to be honest! As I know what’s coMing. She calms down for the book but by that point it’s been Rushed’

[pastabest]

Have you tried an earlier bathtime?

Mine (14mo and 2.5yo) have their tea at about 5pm. Then straight into the bath at 5.30 - 5.45. Bath until about 6 then downstairs for playing and in the night garden.

They usually run around naked for a bit and I slip a pull up nappy on the 14mo when she's distracted. Then a pyjama top as she runs past me, then bottoms while she sits on my knee for a feed. If I tried to lie her down or stop her playing for any of this she would have a complete meltdown so it's all easy on/ loose fitting and relaxed. The 2.5 yo was the same at the same age and now happily puts her pjs on mostly herself.

Bed is about 7pm so there isn't the same association with bath time and bed time.

If she enjoys the story can she have it in bed?

Have you tried audiobooks? We usually leave ours to go to sleep listening to children's stories on audible. It worked very well for the 2.5 yo when they were younger and going through a similar stage.

[Notodontidae]

It seems like the only new routine "she will accept" is to get her own way.
I would try talking one more time, to make sure it's not about spooks, spiders, or night-time, then prepare for a long night, as it seems more like defiance and disobediance. Be prepared to withdraw cuddles, withdraw nightgarden, withdraw songs or stories, unless she lays down quietly ready for sleep. be calm but practice the cross "I mean business look"

[Notodontidae]

I also agree with Pastabest, bathtime can be invigorating, can slightly irritate the skin making the skin sensitive to sheets, and making them hot. Children dont seem to see it relaxing like adults do after a hard day at work. Do the bath routine earlier, let her run around with cool clothing or naked, then a story downstairs or nightgarden then bed. Any messing around say you will stop nightgarden or story. Make sure there is a contrast beween your demeanor when she behaves.

[CJ1990]

Thanks everyone. Will give this all a go!

[Aria999]

We only do bath once or twice a week now unless he's actively mucky. It was just adding to the stress!