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The toddler life. Potty training, not sleeping, tantrums. Come join this crap with me!

(113 Posts)
lucymegan Wed 22-May-19 16:33:12

If you have a feral toddler and at the end of your tether come join me in this shit show of a stage!

So I have a dd 2.5 she's currently in the garden with a bucket and spade (buckets filled with water and she's using the spade like a soup spoon and drinking it) I've told no 10,000, removed her away, bribed her with an ice pole and she just keeps going back to it. I've given up. She's had her tetanus.
She's also started waking in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and refuses to go back to sleep. So from 2:30-5:30 she's wide away and wanting a conversation. What the hell is going on. Where's my good girl that slept from 6:30pm-7am 😫
She's also started exploring her Pooey nappies and smeared it all over herself! Wtf!
I thought "ok,great she's ready to potty train. So go out and buy her a potty, toilet seat, novelty knickers and fancy pull ups. Within 10 minutes she's shit herself and peed on the floor 😫
Carry on taking her to the toilet..nothing then 5 minutes later shits on the floor..I give up.

Somebody come along please and advise me please. I've had 4 other children and this one is broken I'm sure of it 🤦🏻‍♀️

Paultrybudget Wed 22-May-19 16:38:01

I have a just 3 year old who would do that with a bucket of water and a spade, but I wouldn't stop him so perhaps I'm lazier than you!

Unfortunately I have experience of long, long wakings during the night. If something wakes DS he does struggle of go back to sleep, could she be teething molars?

I'd give up on pot training for a while!

lucymegan Wed 22-May-19 16:45:24

I wouldn't be so bothered about the bucket and spade if she hadn't of been filling it with soil from the flower bed la earlier 🙈 cats wee and pop in there 😷 I've given up now. I've swilled it out and have given it back to her. She's a grotbag lol.

The waking up has been happening for 4 weeks. Not every night but it's getting more and more each week. Once she's awake that's it. I have to put her in my our bed and just doze and let her chat away to herself. I'm exhausted. She's slept through from 18m so this is killing me confused

Yep I think I'm just going to leave the potty training for now. I haven't got the patience for it.

General0rgana Wed 22-May-19 17:35:55

I have a 3.2 year old. He's just weed all over the bathroom so is finishing his tea without any pants on.

He went through the poo-hands phase too. I think he'd fill his nappy whilst idly lounging in bed. He'd get uncomfortable and go in for a scratch and then, horrified, would try wiping his hand on anything nearby!

He pooped in the bath the other day too. 😩

He's been waking twice a night for the last few nights. He did sleep through for a few weeks, I'm sure.

But at least he tantrums less than his brother did!

lucymegan Wed 22-May-19 20:47:29

@General0rgana their so difficult aren't they confused
I don't remember this happening with my others.

I think the worst part atm is the sleeping. It's actually killing me because I got so used to a full nights sleep and now it's like she's a baby again shock

lucymegan Wed 22-May-19 20:49:03

Oh and I forgot to add that she ate some of the dogs food from his dish tonight 🙈

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings 😩🤦🏻‍♀️

Wenttoseainasieve Wed 22-May-19 20:50:21

I can laugh at this because I have a 4 year old and 12 month old so currently they are on either side of the mad years grin One year from now, though...

ListenLinda Wed 22-May-19 20:59:57

My 2 yo old DD had a stand off with me earlier because I wouldn’t let her have coco pops for tea. She then refused the sausage mash and veg, a meal you could usually guarantee a clean plate back sad

She usually wakes for a drink in the night, but the arrival of DS has prompted big chats in the night and taking upto 40 mins to get back off to sleep.

Shes waking up early when she realises i’m downstairs with DS, is shattered come afternoon and so her tantrums have become pretty epic lately.

Thank christ for nursery two days a week grin

Readytogogogo Wed 22-May-19 21:02:04

Can I join in? Mine is having a tantrum because she's woken up. Fun times.

mnahmnah Wed 22-May-19 21:03:52

My 2.2 DS is breaking me at the moment too! He also spends a lot of time outside with water, dripping into the kitchen all over the tiled flooring, creating a total hazard. We cannot get him to stay in his buggy so going anywhere is a nightmare. He has no fear and quick as a flash, so turn your back for one second and he’s climbed up something / in somewhere / got something he really shouldn’t. I’m exhausted!!!

mnahmnah Wed 22-May-19 21:05:23

Oh and i’ll add that no matter how long he naps in the day, he’s having a party in bed until 8.30/9.00 (until recently he was afleep by 7.30 latest) and awake and raring to go at 5.30 confused

Watchingthetelly Wed 22-May-19 21:05:38

Loving this thread. I'm actually laughing out loud but also terrified of what is ahead of me with DS. Toddlers are WILD

TrumpsFerret Wed 22-May-19 21:09:02

Mine shouted GET AWAY FROM ME in the town centre today. Someone actually fell over nearby as she was looking and tripped on the pavement.

mnahmnah Wed 22-May-19 21:09:19

Sorry, on a roll, the floodgates have opened....

Whacking me in the face BLOODY HARD when he doesn’t like something

Throwing food. Curtains covered. Walls smeared.

Standing up and weeing all over the bath. Just for last the laughs.

confuddeledconfuddel Wed 22-May-19 21:12:09

Just marking my place as I'm too tired to even think about what hell today though with my 2.5 year old confused I'll be back

lucymegan Wed 22-May-19 21:16:32

Someone mentioned molars?! Should I be expecting more teeth? I thought we was done with that 😭
Come to think of it. When's she's trying to go back to sleep she keeps making a loud shrieking cry. I gave her calpol last night and 40 minutes later (after I'd been tortured for hours with her) she finally went to sleep at 5:30. I've given her some tonight so fingers crossed 🤞🏼

She's actually giving me wrinkles and grey hairs. Earlier today I looked like some crazy loon in the garden trying to pull down her shitty knickers gently so it didn't go all over her legs and feet whilst wrestling the dog from eating said knickers. Dh can't take me seriously when I tell him these things, I'm sure he thinks I'm making it up. Then when I told him she'd eaten dog food he just walked away shaking his head 🤦🏻‍♀️

happydays00 Wed 22-May-19 22:12:29

DD 2.5 also ate some dog biscuits today. Regular tantrums over almost anything: she tried to hit the dog, tantrum, I caught her trying to climb out the window, tantrum, I won't let her squat to wee in the garden, tantrum, won't make her pasta for breakfast - tantrum.

I also find the roller coaster of emotions somewhat exhausting - one minute she's screaming and crying, 5 seconds later she is laughing. I'm still reeling from the previous explosive tantrum. When does it start to get easier??

General0rgana Thu 23-May-19 07:11:38

3:40 he woke up today. And was awake for an hour before I could escape back to bed. My alarm goes off at 5:15 (been running in the mornings - except not for the last week because of mr wakey hmm)

He is at least cheerful so far this morning (fortunately I picked up more blueberry wheats yesterday to appease my tiny overlords)

Grumblepants Thu 23-May-19 07:29:17

Oooh me too.
When will this shit end. I'm literally living just to survive the day.
Ds is 2.5 and screaming tantrums all the time. He hits and bites me. I picked him up from nursery and they told me he had hit a child and scratched another. I just started to cry and told them I was really sorry. I don't know how to stop it.
I have been upset before when told another child had bitten mine, so now I feel awful knowing it's my ds causing other children harm and upsetting their parents.
Everything I ask him to do leads to a stand off....'come on were going to brush your teeth' 'NO', 'let's go in the car and go to the park' 'Dont want to go in the CAR', getting dressed = argument, changing nappy = argument, eating lunch = argument.
When it happens in public I just want to die. I'm wrestling with this child that's hitting me and trying not to lose my rag knowing everyone is staring.
To top it he woke at 5am today. Kill me now!

lucymegan Thu 23-May-19 09:50:12

She slept through 🙌🏼 looks like the calpol before bed worked.
@TrumpsFerret that made me crack up 😂

It's a lovely day here so I think I'm gonna try and get out with her today. I've asked her if she wants to wear her knickers again and use the toilet and I got a "no I don't like it!" 🙄

Goodenough06 Thu 23-May-19 13:02:39

My toddler likes to fill up a cup with stones from the garden and then pretends to drink it. confused bits of grit and soil in his mouth, urgh. He also will quite happily pick leaves from any plant we walk past and try to eat...trying to explain to him the difference between say, leaves on a stalk of broccoli and random, disgusting dandelion leaves probably covered in dog piss.

Goodenough06 Thu 23-May-19 13:07:42

Grumblepants your life is mine. Tantrums taking him out of bed in the morning, tantrums going downstairs. Tantrums because he doesn't want breakfast, tantrums when I get him dressed. Tantrums about putting on shoes...every single f*cking step of the day is a fight and I am exhausted. My mum thought I had sunburn on my shoulder but it was actually where he has repeatedly bitten me for taking him out of the swimming pool. Not fun. Also 31 weeks pregnant and too fat for this bullsh*t.
I stand (exhausted) with you!!!! winecake

PrincessDaff Thu 23-May-19 13:24:34

My near 2 year old has just started with the tantrums. Everything is NO!!! He is doing my head in. He is going through a phase of wanting to touch me all the time, he has to sit by me touching my hair or holding me hand. In the car he wants to hold me hand but I am obviously driving so cant so he will throw a tantrum in the back of the car!!! He actually made himself sick the other day he got himself that wound up, my anxiety was through the roof trying to drive with a vomiting toddler in the back!! I had to pull over to sort him out.

He has never been a good sleeper but he now wakes at 4:30-5 every day but is a giant rat bag because he is obviously still exhausted!!

I am sure this is just the tip of the iceberg and the worst is yet to come!!

Limpshade Thu 23-May-19 13:34:38

It's evening here and I've just picked up Oh Crap! to read so I'll be joining the potty training, erm, train, soon.

My 2.5yo hits me if I am in a 1 metre radius of her when I tell her something she doesn't like. Examples include, "OK, time for breakfast!" And "Yes, in a minute!" We're working through it but at least in the last few weeks she has stopped trying to drag the (already walking) baby around by her hair shock (In her defence, the baby started that grin) She's also developed a fondness for going floppy when angry and cannot be removed from any (usually very public) place by any other means except the "bag of spuds" carry method. My biceps are like rocks these days.

Thankfully her preschool believes she is SUCH A HAPPY CHILD so at least my shame is limited to the home and at weekends.

ravepixie Thu 23-May-19 13:40:31

OMG this is an exact description of my DD too. She turned 2 in Feb. She does however say sorry mama once she's finished having her tantrum. My DH is her full time carer as I work so I'm going to let him read this thread so he knows he is not alone. I have learnt to pick my battles with her. If we r out and about and she throws a wobbler and tries to run I stay firm for her safety. If she throws a wobbler at home im bit more lenient. The poo thing I do wonder it's them understanding the difference between wee and poo. My one does think poo is yuck so I am hoping she won't touch it. I'm sure someone will come along and tell us this is only a phase. smile

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