Children say the wierdest/funniest things

[Poppett]

We all know that children say the funniest things my eldest has come out with some corkers. But quite recently she has been going into great detail about a house she used to live at and a pet rabbit she used to have - we have only lived at this house and we've never had a pet rabbit. Also not long after my grandad died when I would put her to bed she would ask me who was the man standing behind me, I never dismissed what she said as silly because you never really know do you?. Anyone else got any really funny or wierd things that thier children have said/done?

[Emsiewill]

I remember my daughter announcing to me in a queue to pay for something "Mummy, I farted". "Oh, that's nice" I say, trying to pretend I wasn't bothered. "What was that?" says my mother-in-law. "You don't want to know" I say. "I farted" says Bethan "What darling?" says MIL "Really, don't ask" I say. "I FARTED NAIN" says Bethan.
Cue me leaving the shop, leaving my MIL to deal with her self-inflicted embarrasment

[Mooma]

My son recently told me he knew what "psychic" meant. Intrigued, I asked him to explain. He said that it was on that cartoon, "Dick Dastardly and his psychic Muttley"...

[Joe]

My son just asked for a feed and on seeing my boob he said 'numa numa' its sort of like yum yum to him (dh says num nums when he gives him his dinner) I had to giggle, it was cute.

[Mel]

Having read Babette Cole's brilliant 'Mummy Laid an Egg' - my eldest asked in a very loud voice at Safeways checkout: "Have you and Daddy ever done it on a spacehopper?" !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lizzer]

I was just thinking about where this thread had gone because the other day I caught dd dancing around outside to the ice cream van music. The thing is she has never seen an ice cream van drive past our house so she just thinks that the sky plays music randomly for her to dance to! Well if it happens in teletubby land, why not here...?!

[Chanelno5]

My eldest said to me in the swimming pool that his armbands helped him to swim well. Fair comment I thought . Then he told me that the reason I could swim so well was because I had big arms like his armbands - charming!

[Robinw]

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[Chanelno5]

I love some of the conversations I have with my kids they can really cheer me up when I'm having a bad day (listen to me, I'm coming over all Mary Poppins!) But this tale doesn't involve mine, rather my friend and her 5 yr old s. She decided from very early on that she was going to call all the various body parts by their proper names - no willies etc. for her, thankyou very much! However, I think she had second thoughts one day when her little darling said in his loudest voice in the middle of a packed park "Mummy, look at that dog's very large penis!".

[Twink]

Took 2 year old dd swimming at the weekend, no prizes for guessing what happened when she spotted a very dark haired and very hairy bloke in the water...
"Look Mummy, monkey !"
I guess it was the first of many moments when I will wish the ground would swallow me up - do any of you experienced ones out there have any tips ??!

[Okapi]

I've been rumbled (again)! My partner just told one of my 2 1/2 yr old boys to stop bashing the computer in case he broke it. His reply? "Just a minute, I'm having a quick look at Mumsnet."

[Sis]

Our three year old ds is clearly a materially and culturally deprived boy. He was pointing at various pictures on a catalogue and asking what they where and then answering himself, when he got to a picture of Santa, he asked what it was and then said "Oh is it puss in boots?" Santa's big black shiny boots and the facial hair could make hime look like a cat...no?

[Joe1]

Didnt know where to put this little story, here or the cute thread.
I was on the telephone to Grobag ordering by sons sleeping bag and had to shoot out to the hall to get my bag. I explained to the lady if she heard beeps or is cut off I will call her back as ds likes to play with the phone. I put the phone on the side, ran out to the hall and when I came back he was busy having a chat with her, though I dont think she could get a word in. He is only 13 months, oh the telephone bill at 15.

[mollipops]

Had to put this down before I forgot it - we have a calendar with velcro tabs to change the date/day/month/year. It's fabric with the names of everything embroidered on it, really wonderful, including the day today, yesterday and tomorrow....Anyway, dd (5) was changing the calendar the other day, and after working out the days, asked if it was still the same month, (yes, April), is it still the leaf one (autumn, yes), then pointed to the year and asked "Is it still hundreds and thousands?" She couldn't understand why I fell about laughing!

Oh the other one was when she asked me to draw the "antlers" on her butterfly!

[mollipops]

Lol sobernow, actually you're right on both counts - I'm a mad Australian!!!

Btw you make the smileys with a colon and a right-bracket like this : ) but without the space in between. The grin is a colon and a capital O.

[jenny2998]

When my daughter was born my son (then 2 1/2) became devoted to his dolly (which up until then had lain abandoned in his toy box) - very sweet. Then he started breastfeeding it...wasn't sure quite how to react. Decided the best course of action would be to give him a bottle for his doll and explained why he couldn't breastfeed..."Only ladies can breastfeed" I spent time trying to explain the whole process of lactation, in language a 2 year old could understand. When I'd finished (and was mentally congratulating myself for having handled the situation quite well) ds piped up " but mummy you can't breastfeed"
"Why not darling?"
"Because you're not a lady"

[trudles]

At two years old my daughter often suprises me with the things she says. I took her for a walk one day on passing a garden I pointed out some flowers. she instantly informed me that they actually daffodils not just flowers. A friend also tried to get her interested in some horses by saying "look at the gee gees", when she replied " theres lots of horses arent there"

[eemie]

Last night I dreamed my dh was having an affair. Woke up feeling very miffed and made the mistake of telling him about it at breakfast. Dd (3) piped up 'can I go to the fair?' I said grumpily: 'ask Daddy, it's his fair'. Then I realised she's going to tell them at nursery, isn't she...daddy's having a fair...and I'm going too...

By the way Mollipops, according to my nephew, those things on a butterfly's head aren't antlers, they're testicles

[Janus]

Last Friday my 21 month old was saying 'Daddy gone to work' when he had actually gone to the pub so I (stupidly) said 'no, Daddy gone to the pub' which she copied straight away! Then on Monday, whilst walking around the supermarket at 10.00am she literally screamed out 'Daddy gone to the pub'!! Yikes, everyone must of thought I was with a raging alcoholic!!!!

[EmmaM]

Our 3 year old wouldn't go to sleep last night and played and carried on in his bedroom for ages before he finally settled down.

He obviously got fed up with the lack of attention he was receiving from his parents to pander to his list of demands because instead of shouting 'Mum', 'Dad', as he usually does, he started started 'Someone'!

[Marina]

I admit that I sort of set my nearly 3-year-old son up for this...
He was pouting and flouncing about in his room while getting ready for nursery, because he had left Diesel 10 downstairs. I produced Gordon and asked if he would do. Big sighs, more flouncing, then a slump onto the bed. "I don't know which train I want. I feel really sad and I don't know why". We were running a bit late by now, so I said not very sympathetically, "Oh, existential angst is it then?" Son replies, sadly, "I don't have that train."
Other Connex users here will know that there is a lot of rolling stock fitting that description trundling in and out of Cannon Street every day.