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(12 Posts)
AngelLou Sun 03-Dec-17 21:36:17

Hi I am new to Mumsnet. Is there a relationship thread or section? Thanks.

Mellody Sun 17-Dec-17 10:22:11

I'm new to this too.. recently seperated from husband after 14 years any advice on how to move on and stop thinking about him constantly would be good. We have 2 children so contact is frequent. I just wanna stop thinking what he's doing who he's talking to and being jealous all the time.

MeMeMeMe123 Sun 17-Dec-17 10:27:58

try here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships

sorry don't know how to do links.

bumpy road ahead but you will manage, you will cope, you will come out the other side. The other side may be different to the one you imagine for yourself, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Good luck

Mellody Sun 17-Dec-17 10:50:14

Thankyou meme me 123

AngelLou Sun 17-Dec-17 18:08:02

Hi Mellody. I use a couple of tricks to change upsetting thoughts. Imagine your ex doing something boring, like watching TV or washing up and then every time you start to think of him, imagine this image. Then give yourself a cuddle and say to yourself 'I am strong and brave and amazing! I love me!" With persistent negative thoughts, I wear a rubber band on my wrist and flick it to remind myself to think positive thoughts instead. You have a support network of sisters here and you are not alone. I'm sending you love, support and healing Angels Mellody. All will be well in time, I promise Xxx

Mellody Sun 17-Dec-17 23:40:51

Thanku Anglelou. He is pretty boring deep down so I should think of this. Its funny how when this happens to yourself you feel so alone. Like you are the only person to experience heartbreak when in fact half the population may well be the same. Its so nice to get support.

Mellody Mon 18-Dec-17 00:53:54

I've begged like a fool think I have no dignity left but then I think at least I have given it my all I hope one day he regrets it. Life can be so cruel

AngelLou Mon 18-Dec-17 21:55:37

Mellody you are in very good company - you are right, a large percentage of people have had their hearts broken. They survived and you will too. In fact, you will come out of this stronger and wiser than ever before. Your main focus now should be pouring love into your two precious children as that will heal you, too. Secondly, be gentle with yourself. Love and care for yourself - you so deserve it. Remember - you are never alone. Sending you love and healing Angels xxx

Mellody Mon 18-Dec-17 22:28:35

Thankyou for your kind words. Angel. I'm glad I joined.hopefully I will be giving people advice when I am in a better place. X

AngelLou Mon 25-Dec-17 18:49:23

If anyone is finding Christmas difficult because of separation or divorce, I just want to say that although it may feel like it, you are not alone. This is my first Christmas ever without my boys because their father and I have just become separated and he sent them off to visit his family in Canada. We had planned to have Christmas with my family, but he wouldn't allow that. My boys are not babies (they are 18 and 21) but it still hurts. Anyway, I know this stage will pass and I will be stronger than ever. So if anyone else feels like me, just remember, you are not alone. Merry Christmas everyone! May 2018 be our best year ever! XXX

Mellody Mon 25-Dec-17 22:09:44

Hi Angel sorry to hear your situation. Today was tough without my partner here but we managed to make it a nice Christmas for our boys. He came early but did not stay for dinner. I want him back so much it would of killed me to sit there playing happy families. He's a good dad, but I just feel like I mean nothing to him any more after 13 years it's just so hard for me to stop my feelings. We broke up due to arguments and pressures of having an autistic child it's just put strain on our marriage in the end. Today was not as bad as I thought it would be. I hope you are coping this evening too angel x

AngelLou Tue 26-Dec-17 02:45:35

Hi Mellody. Well done, getting through the day and managing to put on a lovely Christmas for the children. Can you join a support network or online group with other parents of autistic kids? Or start your own thread on Mumsnet? You should be so proud of yourself that you are bearing up. Please remember to take care of yourself, too and don"t be tough on yourself. You should plan something special to do, just for you. It sounds like you are an amazing Mum - and that really is the most important job in the world. Pat yourself on the back for getting through the day. Things will get better, I promise. Take care Mellody. Sending you healing, love and Angels. Xxx

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