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Missed Miscarriage Surgery Experience?

(20 Posts)
bananamonkey Sun 10-Feb-19 10:00:45

I went for my 12 week scan on Wednesday with no inkling of anything being wrong only to be told there was no heartbeat. The scan was over pretty quickly and they bundled me out to EPU where they explained my options and I left in total shock.

Made the decision to request surgery as I couldn’t face waiting or the medical management and an amazing EPU nurse arranged a cancellation slot for me so I’m having the surgery on Tuesday but it feels like it’s all happening so quickly, any idea what to expect?

I didn’t get to have an internal scan so I asked about this as I wanted to know how far along I was, the EPU nurse said there was a note to say the sonographer noted the size at 8 weeks, this was reassuring but they only scanned for a couple of minutes so I’m still not sure. She did apologise that I wasn’t told.

Also I’m really worried about afterwards, I’m still in shock and putting all my focus into the op (and my toddler, she’s a great distraction). How will I cope afterwards? I’m keen to try again soon but I find ttc soul destroying at the best of times. Even though I have people around it feels so lonely sad

mynameisMrG Sun 10-Feb-19 10:07:37

So sorry for your loss and rubbish experience. I had surgery at 15 weeks. I was taken to surgery and knocked out. Came round on the ward a while later. I had no pain, no real bleeding afterwards (unlike when I didn’t have surgery where I bled heavily for a couple of weeks).
We were advised to wait a couple of months before ttc again (definitely a question to ask while you are there as they all say different things) and I think we were pregnant again three months later.

bananamonkey Sun 10-Feb-19 10:24:02

Thank you for sharing your experience, that’s really reassuring thank you. Sorry for your losses x

madminimoomin Sun 10-Feb-19 10:50:27

I had the surgery in December at 9 weeks for a mmc. Baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks.
I had the choice and opted for the surgery as I didn't want to wait for the miscarriage to start naturally.
I was really nervous and had no idea what to expect, but it was absolutely fine apart from all the waiting around (got there at 10am and was finally called at 4.30pm). Between 10 and 4 I saw various people like the nurse, the consultant, the anethetist and was given a tablet to soften my cervix which caused some cramping - also couldn't eat or drink.
I was knocked out and came around 15mins later and it was all over. I felt very emotional but apart from that was ok and I went home around 9pm. I bled for a few days but apart from feeling very sorry for myself I had no pain or anything.
I have just had my first period 7 weeks after the surgery, was a long wait but feel like I'm back on track and will start to try again now.
I'm really sorry you're going through this, it's such a lonely experience even with support around you.

MamaDane Sun 10-Feb-19 11:08:23

Hey there. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a missed abortion last July. Like you, they also didn't find a heartbeat. I had two different scans to confirm it. They asked whether I preferred a pill or surgery and I wasn't certain at first. But I chose surgery despite never having surgery before. They gave me pills to bring home, that I was supposed to take a few hours before the procedure.

As I returned home I felt terrified I had made the wrong decision, perhaps it would be better to deal with it myself. What if I reacted badly to the anesthesia?

I got an appointment the following day and with some convincing from my DP, decided to follow through with it.

I went there, waited til it was my turn, got dressed in their scrubs and waited again to be called in. They all greeted me very kindly and shook my hand.

I laid down on the table and the nurse held my hand as she asked questions about my life. I am forever grateful for her because I was so frightened. They had a little trouble finding the vein in my hand but after that it went fine. It wasn't painful.

I passed out and woke up. I was quite nauseous and a bit crampy and very upset. I was sobbing, which made them bring in my DP.

I bled a bit for a little less than a week. The pain wasn't bad at all. Just like a period, it could be handled with ibuprofen.

I would choose surgery any time. So I think you've made the right call. My experience was "good". I'll especially remember the kind nurse.

I'm pregnant with twins now, here 7 months later, and should I lose them too, I'd pick surgery any day.

(to be fair, my treatment was at a Danish hospital, I don't know much of the nhs)

bananamonkey Sun 10-Feb-19 11:11:41

Thank you @madminimoomin that’s really helpful detail, I had no idea how long it would take. I’m in at 11 but could be anytime between 1.30 and 5.30.

I’m sorry for your loss, good luck with trying again.

MamaDane Sun 10-Feb-19 11:13:56

It was harder to recover emotionally, but it did help that I didn't have our dead little bub inside of me. Knowing it was in there even just for one day was devastating. Sorry you have to wait until Tuesday.

Afterwards, we cried when we needed to. We uninstalled pregnancy apps on phones and tablets, which was heartbreaking but therapeutic. We have a little yellow candle we lit up whenever we thought/think of bub.

Hardest part was not getting pregnant right away after. But in retrospect, it's better that it took some time to mourn Bubba.

madminimoomin Sun 10-Feb-19 11:35:19

I too hard such a positive experience with all the doctors and nurses (nhs). They held my hand and spoke to me about life while they got me ready for the surgery. They could tell I was very upset, emotional and nervous and they really did do a great job.
I would make the same decision in a heartbeat, hopefully it never comes to that.
Look after yourself and give yourself plenty of time to recover.
I would also recommend doing pregnancy tests after the surgery to check your hormones go back to zero if you are planning to try again straight away. I was still getting positives until I got my period and there were a few times we thought I was maybe pregnant again, just adds to the drama which when you're in an emotional state already doesn't help at all.
Good luck!

bananamonkey Sun 10-Feb-19 11:40:55

Thanks @MamaDane I’m sorry for your loss. Weirdly I don’t feel bad about carrying him/her inside which I imagined would be the worst part, although I don’t think I could cope with it much longer, luckily I got the cancellation as there’s a 2 week wait for surgery otherwise. I also don’t feel pregnant all of a sudden whereas I very much did right up the scan, so strange.

Hobbes39 Sun 10-Feb-19 14:26:48

@bananamonkey - so sorry for your loss.
My experience was similar to those above. The staff were kind to me, a couple particularly so as they read my
notes and knew that ours was a much waned ivf baby, so I was devastated to be having the surgery.
One thing not mentioned above I felt I wish I had known might happen was that the drug they gave me to soften cervix / start it all off - I had a reaction to that is supposedly common (but they didn't mention to me) within a few minutes of taking it I was FREEZING and shaking like a leaf. I was on my own behind a curtain as they were working their way through people, so I found that quite scary. It wasn't until a nurse came in after about 15mins of me being like this (I couldn't talk I was shivering so much) that she reassured me that it was something that can happen and she got me a few blankets... but until she came in I was scared and felt so alone. So just be prepared for that possibility, as then I'm sure it won't be so frightening. X

bananamonkey Sun 10-Feb-19 15:38:54

Thanks @Hobbes39 it’s good to know the practical stuff in advance, sorry for your loss too.

You’ve all really helped, as I said even though I have people around it’s a lonely experience and I have no one to talk to about these aspects.

sadtoday21 Sun 10-Feb-19 16:22:25

I'm really sorry that you are going through this, the same thing just happened to me. 12 week scan, heartbeat stopped at 9 weeks, absolutely zero signs anything was wrong. Since I didn't have any bleeding, I opted for D&C to get it over quickly. We were at the hospital all day yesterday, but the surgery was not painful and I am not in any pain now. Afterwards just minor bleeding like a period, no cramps really. So, physically I think the surgery was a good choice for me and I am sure you will also get through it. Emotionally, I have no idea how to get through this at all...I just feel empty inside. I just read about it all day long. It helps to know that other women are also feeling the same way and I hope you find some peace soon.

bananamonkey Sun 10-Feb-19 17:15:01

I’m sorry you are going through it too @sadtoday21

It really does help to share. I’m lucky I already have DD who takes up most of my time and attention anyway but I feel like after Tuesday I’m staring at a big empty hole of nothingness.

DaisyF1986 Wed 13-Feb-19 15:31:08

I’m due to go for surgery tomorrow. Had lots of scans along the way as they were worried about development and almost two weeks ago co firmed the heartbeat had gone. Last weds I had medication but after being in a lot of pain (still taking codeine 5 days later) I went back for a scan where they confirmed lots of retained product and possible infection. Just can’t wait until tomorrow is over with and we can start to move on. Thank you for all of your positive stories.

bananamonkey Wed 13-Feb-19 17:34:59

Just to say my surgery was a really positive experience. The staff were all great with me and I had a private room so didn’t have to be with all the pregnant women. It was a lot of waiting around (went in at 11 and left at 8.30pm) but everything was clear, the procedure was fairly short I think (DH said I was gone a couple of hours), no complications and I haven’t had any pain, just minimal bleeding. My BP was a bit low so i couldn’t leave for a while till it was back to normal but I feel absolutely fine physically today.

I have antibiotics to take in case of infection and need to do a pregnancy test in 3 weeks time. If I’m still bleeding after 2 weeks (or test is positive) I need to call EPAU for possible re-scan. I’ve read really mixed things but the consultant said to wait for 2 periods to try again to give time for the uterine lining to thicken up again in case the procedure took away more than expected. I guess it might be slightly different surgery vs. “natural” MC?

I’m so glad I chose this route, I think it’s given me a little closure and a place to move on from. Good luck @DaisyF1986

madminimoomin Wed 13-Feb-19 20:18:34

Glad it went ok @bananamonkey
Give yourself plenty of time to heal.
Hope it goes ok for you tomorrow @DaisyF1986.

DaisyF1986 Fri 15-Feb-19 16:17:21

Thank you all for your kind messages. I had a good experience, went to theatre at 2.30 and was home for 6. Minimal pain and very kind nurses and other staff. Bleeding and pain has stopped almost immediately. Wish I'd gone straight for this option in the first place rather than waiting for natural and then trying medicinal management when that didn't work!

floofkitty Fri 15-Feb-19 17:11:41

@bananamonkey, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have actually just come out of the surgical management to remove tissue that didn't pass after 2 weeks of going into early labour (22 weeks) and losing our baby girl (our 2nd MC).

After a lot of nervousness, I actually felt it was very well managed. Everyone involved came round (on the NHS at Kingston Hospital) and talked to me, gave me options and reassured / even entertained me to distract from all the needles and tubes, etc.

Given the choice between medical and surgical, I'd have said surgical is the right choice as I did opt to wait a bit to see if it could pass naturally and after bleeding an amount that I thought would have been the remaining tissue, it turned out to be barely a dent in it which was more traumatic as it felt like my hope was being battered with every check and scan.

I feel relatively more positive and it feels like we can move towards getting some closure on the trauma of the last month.

I wish you love and luck.

bananamonkey Fri 15-Feb-19 17:36:48

@floofkitty I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how heartbreaking that must be for you flowers

Glad you had a good experience @DaisyF1986

SparkleFairy6 Sat 16-Feb-19 10:15:25

I found out on Tuesday through an early ultrasound that my baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks, I was 9 weeks pregnant. I had a little blood before going in but not enough to make me think something was wrong. They wanted me to go in next week to reconfirm it but my DH and I are away for a few nights, probably do us some good. But since Tuesday I have been bleeding and passing a few clots every now and again. And I go back on the 25th to have it confirmed as they said I could go next Friday but woukd still need to go in on the Monday but I don’t want to have to go back twice. If nothing has happened by then I will have to think of my options, I’m just so scared.
I am so sorry that you all have been through such heartbreaking news.

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