I originally suggested he have the every weekend (Friday night to monday morning) but He wants 50/50 contact.
There is not really any room at his mum's at all and the kids will either be sharing a bed or sleeping on blow up beds which is not ideal so that's another concern of mine.
He will take his stuff and some appliences with him when he does get a place. E.g. the tumble dryer.
He wants to get it all sorted staight away so he can move out (he is impatient and pushy)
He has no parental responsiblity for my eldest but has been a good dad to him since he was two and treats him like he does his other son's.
The reason I though it was better for me to have them during the week is so I can get them to school. I know I wouldn't really of got much quality time with them from this but school is important and I'd get quality time during the holidays with them.
He said he will get a place that is no further then a bus ride away (15 mins bus ride away from the school) but the council have told him he will only get a two bedroomed house at the most. He doesn't drive. We have applied for school for our four year old.
But what I'm i suppose to do in the meantime when he hasn't got a suitable place? He stays hear until he does and we become to hate each other more as we are always getting into disputes which sometime the kids see which is unhealthy or he stays at hus mum's where the kids will be staying in a cramped situation.
I'm not sure if it's controlling but I split up with him as he was getting me down so much I became depressed. He said I looked like a prostitute when I would wear a pencil skirt and shirt to my administration job. When he began looking after the kids more, when I went to do my apprenticeship, he began to make out a was a rubbish parent and he does a better job and once in a blue moon he would tell the kids I was a bad mum. He has recorded our arguments sometimes behind my back and told me he did it to show me how stupid I sounded. He then sent one if the recordings to his brother even when he oromised he hed deleted it. Then after a big bust up not long ago, i found out his mum had recorded us arguing on the ither end of the phone which he probally set up. He would say it's my own fault my eldests dad beat me up. I began to resent him and I wasn't perfect either.. in the end we became verbally abusive towards each other. I began to struggle to get out of bed in the mornings as I knew I'd be waking up to him starting on me as soon as he saw me.
I can't do it anymore. It is not healthy for either of us or the children. I use to think it was best for the parents to stick together and I put up with it for a while but then realised this is no way to live for any of us and he agreed to move out though he said I was making a mistake doing it. I don't feel like I'm in love with him anymore and we can't give each other what we need.
He puts his kids first even when was was together and is very protective of them. He wlrries about the slightest things and lets things bother him more then the average person. It was that bad that he stopped showing me any affection and i took a back seat. I tried talking to him but with no success. He is an amazing dad but not a good partner.
Below in the pictures show the are suggested contact arrangements. The first picture is what he wants with his day being the blue and my days being the green. He has done his so he can work around his work times.
The second picture is what I suggested to him with his days being the blue and my days being the pink. I've done mine so then the kids have a whole quality weekend with each of us plus it's more of stabily with us having them the same time during the week especially ready for when they are all in school.
The lines represent pick up times after school/drop offs.
I made my suggestion and compromised from what I originally suggested of Friday night to Monday morning contact because he wants 50/50 contact (shared care) but it's his way or no way. He said if I don't agree he will take me to court and get a good lawer and apply for full custody. He then called me a scammer as I'll be getting money from the government from not working. I will be going back to work when they are all in school?