The Joy of Homescholing

[EssexAnya]

How to make the most out of homeschooling

1 You are the teacher.
I’ve got news for you: you’ve become a teacher ever since you found out that there is a child on the way. Oh, and did I mention that you are the most wonderful teacher in the world for your child?

2 Play!
Do not interrupt your child’s game in order to sit them down to do homework. Instead, start a game into which you can weave homework.

3 Prepare.
Set up props, draw quest maps and add décor the night before. Let your child wake up into a story…

4 Bring in the big players.
Invent a story about your child’s favourite characters: pirates, animals, cartoon characters, aliens, monsters, etc.

5 Imagination is everything.
You don’t need to visit a NASA building in order to create a space-themed quest. All you need is a couple of very simple props and a dramatic story and your child will imagine everything else. Add homework to the mission to fight evil aliens.

6 Observe them, do not change them.
Notice the speed at which your child does things. Do not encourage them to slow down or speed up their progress, just watch. Let them be.

7 Relax.
If you are tense, worried and stressed about your children’s homework they will pick up on that and feel guilty and inadequate. Are you the most creative and productive when you feel guilty and inadequate?

8 Your child’s learning is your responsibility; your child’s homework is not. This is a very important distinction to keep in mind.

9 Role reversal.
Ask them to teach you. Even if your child is learning the ABCs ask him to teach you to write the letter A. Try writing A and make a mistake. Accept their correction and try again. According to the Cone of Learning the best way to learn is by teaching others, so be your child’s pupil.

10 Do not EVER approach your child with any variation of this statement: “Get the homework done and then you can play.” Your child is not in prison and therefore you don’t need to chain them to their desk. If you happen to be fresh out of ideas about how to make homework fun, then do nothing that day! Let them enjoy themselves, observe them and watch their favourite shows with them. Notice what interests them and then create a game later.

I hope you found this short summary helpful. If trying these ideas seems like a mission impossible to you right now, please leave a comment and I will support you the best I can.

Please note that I do not work in education, I am not a child psychologist, and I never planned to homeschool. I am just a mum whose child has received top marks ever since the lockdown while having fun. If I can do this, so can all of you.

[Cornishmumofone]

Unfortunately this is based on the assumption that people have time available for home schooling. I think the problem for most people lies in the fact that they are simultaneously trying to work.

[stuckindoors77]

I hope you found this short summary helpful. If trying these ideas seems like a mission impossible to you right now, please leave a comment and I will support you the best I can.

Nope, not really just puts pressure on parents to be special, magical fun mummy (or daddy) all the time whilst the reality is that for people juggling multiple kids plus a demanding job from home, they don't have time for this and will just feel more guilty.

Plus honestly:

10 Do not EVER approach your child with any variation of this statement: “Get the homework done and then you can play.” Your child is not in prison and therefore you don’t need to chain them to their desk.

I disagree with this, yes a child's life should be fun and magical but there's absolutely no harm in them learning that not every single bit of life is fun, sometimes we need to get our head down, do the dull stuff then move on. I think you do future adults a disservice if you teach them that every part of life should be magical and fun, those expectations won't serve them well when they're looking for a job. Balance is everything.

I'm sorry to be negative op because you have nice ideas and it's obvious that you want to help people, so thanks for that. I just think that we're all doing the best we can with the resources we have available and I would hate to make people feel inadequate.

[NuffSaidSam]

1. You are the teacher.

You make the rules. Half day? Sure. PE all afternoon? Yep. Wine with lunch? Ok.

2 Play!

A film for the children while you try to get some work done or Mumsnet.

3 Prepare.

For tantrums by having a large stock of bribery sweets and wine.

4 Bring in the big players.

I'm talking Minecraft, YouTube, Netflix, Amazon, whatever gets you through.

5 Imagination is everything.

Is a great thing to tell yourself as you ignore your children and your children when they complain they are bored.

6 Observe them, do not change them.

Notice that they have dinner all down their front and glue in their hair, but don't waste your time changing them. Why make more work for yourself?

7 Relax.

Have you ever actually needed algebra or to identify a fronted adverbial? Get the paddling pool out/the TV on and put your feet up.

8 Your child’s learning is your responsibility; your child’s homework is not.

And we're always hearing how they learn so much from everyday life, just let them crack on! They'll learn.

9 Role reversal.

Cooking and cleaning is educational, let them look after you for a bit.

10 Do not EVER approach your child with any variation of this statement: “Get the homework done and then you can play.”

Because it is not effective for older children, instead use 'do your homework and then you can have some screen time'.

I hope you found this short summary helpful.

Please note that my children have all survived lockdown thus far.

[Heismyopendoor]

I home educate my children and it’s very very different from the crisis schooling that most of the population are trying to do. My heart goes out to those who are trying to work all day, keep their kids from falling behind, run a home and keep everyone sane.

[EssexAnya]

Cornishmumofone: When the lockdown started I was just as anxious as anyone else about homeschooling. My child was at nursery half day and I thought "Am I supposed to turn all teachery and follow some sort of 3-hour curriculum from now on?" I found out that the more of all this I apply the LESS time it takes my child to do homework. And if I don't yell and stress out it actually takes less energy.

[PineappleUpsideDownCake]

Ah nursery.... so not school then or homeschooling! Playing...

[EssexAnya]

stuckindoors77: First off, if you have time and headspace to follow and respond to social media threads posted by complete strangers, you actually have excess time :)

Second, about the grind. You are so right to say that many adults these days hate the grind. They prefer to do minimum work possible and then fire up netflix and have a beer or five. Any suggestions for them to do anything meaningful backfire. I've been there with some of my friends, they either blame the government for bad life or blame me for bothering them. I don't want an overnight Sherlock marathon to be the most proud moment of your children's lives (or mine!) when they grow up. Grind is the deciding factor of success these days, and I salute you for instilling this into your kids.

That said, I believe that grind is something you build up to. No one wakes up one morning and decides to build a new rocket model. Or start a successful business. Or clean the oceans of the world. Because it requires tremendous amounts of grit to do the dull work, as you put it. To be up to it, children must be exposed to healthy and positive messages about the current needs of the world. Then, whatever it is the world needs might become what they want to achieve. How great would it be to have clean oceans? How many people can be helped by their new business? Etc. Etc. The only way they can put their heads down and do the dull work is if they have a clear end goal in mind.

They would NOT want to do this to keep the mum happy. If mum's emotions are the only reason for dull work they will resent the mum. I don't want this to happen to you. Of course, you might find ways to force them to do it but some part of your relationship with them will be damaged.

Your role in all this is to be the source of those positive messages. You don't have to lead them on to any of the statements above, let them choose their own dream. But if you set up positive environment for their learning and stay open to a discussion each time, they will be self-motivated to do the grind. And do not be worried that your inspiring presence would put them in some la-la-land of rainbows and unicorns. Kids are quite alert to challenges and BS, so if your message is a bit off expect immediate feedback.

And they know how to put their head down and accomplish stuff. How much time can a child spend perfecting a sandcastle? Or building a tower? Or drawing something? Do you have to "be a magical mum" or put them in "a magical world" to get them to do that work? Nope, you can actually have a much-coveted cup of coffee at that moment.

"I think that sandcastle needs another tower, honey."

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

@EssexAnya how rude of you to say that a pp reading and posting on here obviously has excess time. Maybe she'd come on (as had I) to use her limited time to find homeschooling tips which at least acknowledged in some way how incredibly fecking hard it is to try to work a full tine job while minding a toddler while homeschooling older children. Speaking of the grind, I'm doing paid work, childcare, homeschooling or housework from 6am until 10pm. So no, right now I am not 'the most wonderful teacher my child could have'. And it's not because I'm afraid of the grind. And I'm one of the lucky ones, still with a job and with the education and confidence to be able to support my children, if only I had time.

Your tips are all decent, but your underlying superiority, privilege and sense that people who can't achieve all this aren't trying hard enough shine through your writing, and it's really off-putting.

[ClaraEccles]

Gets the popcorn... 🍿

[PineappleUpsideDownCake]

Are you like this in real life...

[stuckindoors77]

stuckindoors77: First off, if you have time and headspace to follow and respond to social media threads posted by complete strangers, you actually have excess time :)

Well actually yes I'm doing ok timewise and have a little time here and there to relax and browse mumsnet but that's because I have only one child, who is pretty easy and enjoys most of his school work. Plus a very hands on co parent who does 50% but I wasn't talking about me specifically. There are parents on here who are on their knees trying to juggle multiple children including young babies and toddlers with demanding full time jobs that they often work on until midnight because they can't concentrate during the day. I might have time to make fairy crowns and pirate maps in the evening (and I occasionally do) but preaching to everybody to do the same is just designed to make people feel inadequate.

But am I reading this right that the only child you have is nursery age and you're on here swanking about her getting "top marks" ?

[leasedaudi]

Wait; your kid gets homework from nursery?

[FourTeaFallOut]

Bloody hell, what a lot of hippy clap trap. The story my children wake up to is...grab your books, it's time to work.

[Oopsiedaisyy]

11. Don't have a full time job and need to WFH

[Yurona]

12. Have a cleaner, cook, gardener and somebody to do the shopping. Never ever take on paid for work.
    
13. Don’t have a child age 5 and over.

[BernardsarenotalwaysSaints]

I think 13 is the most pertinent Yurona

[MutteringDarkly]

Well thank fuck for those tips, how HAVE we all managed doing this for 8 weeks without that advice? Now that we're adding our own top tips let's crack on:

Don't worry about the 7 hours of paid work you're contracted to do each day - what's the worst that can happen? You lose your job, your income, your security, in the worst job-market in living history...oh wait

Instead: use the ACME home-cloning kit! Simply split yourself into, two, three, four or more versions of yourself! Handle full-time employment, home schooling AND performance parenting with ease! Get yours today.

[stuckindoors77]

@MutteringDarkly your username suits you well

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

Please note that I do not work in education, I am not a child psychologist, and I never planned to homeschool. I am just a mum whose child has received top marks ever since the lockdown while having fun. If I can do this, so can all of you.

If you can do it so can all of us!! Yay! I work full time and have 4 kids aged 1-8, one with ASD. My sister is a nurse and a single mum of two early teens, who are struggling with academics and with the social side of lockdown. Are you seriously suggesting that your 'top marks' from a child previously at half day nursery (and surely no person currently working on child psychology talks about nursery children getting 'top marks'), means that everyone else should sail through too?

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

Ooh and just realised you did say you're
not a child psychologist. This whole thread has made me too grumpy to read properly..

[NotJimmy]

@EssexAnya 3-hour curriculum? here's one: Frozen followed by Frozen 2

[Eminybob]

Ffs there’s enough smug self righteousness going on on my Facebook timeline, I don’t need it here as well.

Congrats OP, you’ve won at parenting whilst simultaneously make the rest of us feel inadequate. Genuinely, bravo.

Correct me if I’m wrong but you have a preschooler and are a sahm? Then you have zero authority to lecture the majority on ducking homeschooling during lockdown.

[Eminybob]

*fucking. Fucking autocorrect

[Voice0fReason]

Well that was enlightening!
Pray tell, how does that apply when you have 3 children aged 18 months, 7yrs and 10 yrs and you are trying to work 25 hours a week?