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Ex is not paying any mortgage payments as per court order

(17 Posts)
theDrake Sat 30-Sep-17 07:39:21

Hello all, I'm after some much needed advice on behalf of my new partner.
Ok, some info......
My partner is divorced and has two young children - she has them approx 60/40 of the time. Her ex still lives in the marital home and the divorce court order states he has until next year to buy her out (NEVER going to happen) or the home goes up for sale. The current mortgage payment for him is a couple of hundred pounds interest only payment. He pays no maintenance. My partner works part time but gets the benefits and just about manages to pay a huge whack of rent each month.
Her problem is the ex has not paid the mortgage this year at all. He has not made any contact with my partner to say why, apart from the odd 'I can't afford it'. They are jointly on the mortgage (lots of equity but unaccessible due to interest only payment) so she has been borrowing off her parents to pay the mortgage in order to protect her credit rating and get a mortgage in the future. She can't go on any longer doing this. She has sent him a letter from the solicitors saying if he refuses to pay it once more she will request the courts assistance to enforce the sale. He has still not paid it.
Ok, here are my questions.....

1) What are her chances of getting the sale enforced by a judge due to his behaviour in blatantly ignoring the court order? (The order says he may go to prison if he refuses to pay if he has funds - he is in work and has plenty of money for lots of drink and socialising)
2) Can she get the payments her ex has refused to make refunded to her upon sale of the property from his share?
3) Would she be allowed to take sole custody of the sale if she asks the court?
4) Does the fact that there are no missed payments as of yet (due to my partners future concerns) mean the chances of sale being enforced are reduced? Does she have to take a credit rating hit on the chin?

N.b - It's not the only payment from the court order he is refusing to pay, as he owes my partner money too from pre divorce debts.

Some further side points - he is a complete narcissist who is never wrong about anything. He will refuse to play ball next year when it's time to sell, guaranteed. He has a raging temper and has treated my partner dreadfully since I came on the scene, and has caused her sleepless nights with using the kids in his emotional abuse.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can give to my partner on this situation.

Collaborate Sat 30-Sep-17 07:46:33

1. Pretty good, IMO.
2. Yes
3. Too early. She'd need evidence he's frustrated the marketing of the property.
4. I shouldn't think so.

MrsBertBibby Sat 30-Sep-17 09:10:03

Depending on the exact terms of the order, but agree with Collaborate.

Why is he not paying child support?

theDrake Sat 30-Sep-17 09:38:40

MrsBertBibby - she is scared to claim it because he threatens to quit his work if she claims it off him, because he already thinks he should be entitled to half of her benefits, despite meaning she and the kids would be homeless as she couldn't afford the rent. He would do this.
This is why I pointed out his narcissism - he cares about nothing but himself. He thinks the world owes him a living

Collaborate Sat 30-Sep-17 10:19:44

It's pointless not claiming CSA/CMS. He's not paying her a penny, so she's no maintenance to lose by him giving up work. Highly likely he's never going to give up work anyway.

He'd never get any of her benefits.

theDrake Sat 30-Sep-17 10:35:38

Thanks Collaborate - that's her main concern, losing her current benefits to him.
He had a big redundancy payment last year and blew the lot while sitting at home, we are sure he has big current debts on top of not paying the mortgage and not repaying her money owed - she just wants the house sold and she is worried he'll do something like that to avoid paying anything and use it to string out the house sale while using the kids as reason to stay there.
Thanks for all your responses btw

prh47bridge Sat 30-Sep-17 11:26:40

As Collaborate says, she would not lose her benefits to him. The fact he thinks he should be entitled to half of her benefits is irrelevant. He is not entitled to a single penny.

bastardkitty Sat 30-Sep-17 11:32:01

You've had the appropriate legal advice. I just wanted to say that your partner's attempts at damage limitation and conflict avoidance seem to be masking the issues. It sounds like force is the only way her ex is going to do anything. So yes to solicitor/forced sale if necessary. Yes to claiming maintenance, going through CMS and defending herself if he tries to claim the benefits. The more you accommodate people like this, the more they take the piss.

theDrake Tue 03-Oct-17 08:05:11

Dear all , thanks for the answers so far, but due to recent events I have a couple more questions.
1) Can we legally do anything about a now repeated threat to smash up the house he is living in in sole order to make sure it is un-sellable? This has actually bean threatened. Again.
2) Despite the above happening, will the court look sympathetically on him because he was unemployed for three months at the start of this year, despite him not making any contact with anyone at the bank or my partner regarding non payment of the mortgage all year. Should she report the threats to police? Can they do anything please?

The man is so massively untrustworthy it's untrue. It is more controlling behaviour, trying to frighten my partner of that I'm convinced. How can these be the actions of someone who cares about his own two young children? Smashing up a house they live in?
He will also ask the judge for an extension to buy my partner out - yet he's paid her once this year! Will the judge possibly consider?

Thanks for any answers and further general advice you can provide, on behalf of my lovely partner who is truly at her wits end
David x

QuiteLikely5 Tue 03-Oct-17 08:09:21

Get this back to court ASAP.

He sounds like a nightmare.

WayUp Tue 03-Oct-17 08:38:17


QuiteLikely5 Tue 03-Oct-17 08:55:42

Keep all evidence of correspondence you have had with this man. Take proof to court that your partner has paid the mortgage. Tell the judge that a maintenance threat has been made. This man really does want to ruin her life.

It's how far he will go as he doesn't seem to care about the equity or his future. He is intent on emotionally terrorising his wife. Hell it seems he isn't afraid of the judges response.

Oldie2017 Tue 03-Oct-17 12:42:18

It sounds like it is worth applying to court to have him comply with the existing divorce order in paying the mortgage within say 14 days and if he does not varying the order (if they can be varied?) so that the house can be sold immediately with what she has paid herself for the mortgage over and above what she had to is also paid to her from the proceeds of sale, with she and the estate agent arranging visits. I would get it up for auction with a very close deadline once the court orders it and perhaps given his threats to break the whole house up get an immediate order restraining him from doing so and perhaps ordering he leaves the property immediately. I wonder why she had to leave not him? It is always best to stay put if you can.

theDrake Sat 10-Feb-18 17:59:39

Dear all, thanks very much for the replies.

An update - due to further none payment of the interest only mortgage payment by her divorced ex, my partner has a date set for the family court where she has requested payment of money owed, future payments enforced and enforced sale.
His response has been anger and emotional abuse as expected - saying to her that he might not turn up, but if he does he will (in his words) 'put on an act' to the judge saying he can be trusted, but he will then simply refuse to let anyone in the house, won't agree to any sale, and string it all out for the next five years. He also brought up the subject of the children saying 'they will hate you' for forcing them out the house. So basically more emotional abuse using the children there.

He has made it clear that (as someone above mentioned) that he will be emotionally terrorising her for the foreseeable future.

My partner and I will wish to move in together next year and we are convinced he will then ratchet up the threats and also try to stop the kids from meeting me thus putting more immense strain on my already suffering partner - the daughter is already a complete emotionalwreck because of his anger and that future prospect may do serious emotional damage to her - not that he gives a stuff cos it's all about him.
So I have a couple of questions please...

1) As we have now have actual recorded evidence of his plans to frustrate the future sale, can we request the court during the hearing to apply some kind of non-molestation order to enable him to comply with the court orders and treat my partner better during the sale and in the future?
2) Can we do anything regarding the distress his actions are causing his daughter? The hearing time is very limited I believe.

Thanks once again for any advice.

Bleigh31 Tue 14-Aug-18 19:18:48


I am going through a similar situation at the moment - ex in the marital home, has indemnified me on our joint mortgage through the courts as part of our divorce settlement, but can’t take me off because he doesn’t work so mortgage company won’t let him take it on as a sole mortgage. He has now defaulted on 3 payments - the last two being consecutive. It wasn’t an amicable split, and 3 years on we still don’t communicate. Our two children (16 and 13) now live with him, so it’s unlikely that I could get him to sell, but not sure now he has defaulted on the mortgage (and also other items on the court order) whether I could force it. Just wondering if you had an update on your situation? Did you go through a solicitor for the family court process?


MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 15-Aug-18 03:30:15


Your partner should apply to CMS ASAP. It can be done by phone. Before calling write down everything that is known about the Ex; Date of Birth, Name, Address, where they work and National Insurance number if known. CMS have access to HMRC so should be able to calculate a weekly maintenance figure based on Ex's earnings.

As for Ex ignoring the Court Order you need to make contact with the adviser you had during the divorce, assuming you had representation.

MissedTheBoatAgain Wed 15-Aug-18 04:54:49

Too early. She'd need evidence he's frustrated the marketing of the property


Happened to a friend of mine. Ex husband was deemed by the Courts to have hindered the sale by reference to the Estate Agents letters about viewings not taking place as planned as Ex husband was often not present at the property to enable prospective buyers to look around. When he was around house was a mess and repair works suggested by Estate Agents had not been done.

I don't know how the Courts made their calculation, but the Ex wife was awarded a sum from the sale proceeds to reflect that she had been forced to rent longer than necessary.

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