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I'm in a bit of a mess

(10 Posts)
Coffeegirl123 Fri 09-Jun-17 18:38:36

Long story short - I married a fraudster(obviously I didn't realise ) and I sponsored him to the UK from India. We have a 5 month baby. I have concrete evidence to suggest that Husband had played fraud with me for visa purposes and has used deception to marry me.

Things were amazing and rosy at the beginning. My husband already has a brother and sister who are resident in the UK. I come from a Indian family where the old culture is still prevalent. My father was a very controlling, narcissistic and abusive person. I have no brothers, and my mother was always abused by my father and his extended family in India. We were not even allowed to breathe without our father’s permission. My mother was always pressurized into getting the girls married to my dad's nephew…this is quite typical and happens in a lot of indian families. The pressure got so much that I agreed to get married to my cousin. We spoke and he seemed decent enough, we fell in love, and I thought finally things might get better.”

During this time my dad's violence got so bad that all the commotion made the police come and we ended up separating from him. Things started looking up with restricted contact with my Dad, I got a job, started studying and my career became promising. My fiancé was doing his 'I love you' act very well and I went and got married. I came back and to fulfil visa requirements, I worked 3 jobs and worked damn hard and managed to get his visa within two days of applying , which was somewhat of a miracle!

I paid for all his fees and flight tickets and everything myself. My financial support also ranged to his family even though they had a well-established business. During this time our relationship with our father got better and better and soon my husband entered the country.

From day one, he has been ignoring me, beating me up, using my finances along with much more inhumane things. Basically ever since the day he has landed in the UK, he has been messing me around.

I fell for him because he didn't abuse or control me like my father did to my mother, however what he did after arriving in the UK was much worse than my father has ever done. I supported him so much and soon fell pregnant and almost died during my pregnancy. My husband used all of this to his advantage. He left me many times and kept coming back.

My husband also hid the fact from me that his brother who resides in the UK was a convicted sexual offender. Once my child was born, he tried to force me to move in with him, which I of course refused. Both have use of an immigration specialist who helps them stay in the UK using hidden immoral loopholes. I managed to get recorded evidence from him saying that he was only with me until baby is born because then he can use her to get leave. He had no intention of staying with me genuinely.

Fast forward to a year later. He left me for good when my daughter was 1.5 months. This was before a final assault on me. Then stole my belongings and went to live with his sister. He is now trying all routes possible to get a visa based on using his daughter. This is what he has told me indirectly through the means of our extended family.

But my daughter is now 5 months and he has not heard spoken or seen her. Neither has he made any intentions to do so. I know he will probably make contact when his visa is due for renewal because at the moment he still has 1.5years left.

After finding out his brothers history, he also married a girl here and had a son and then sexually abused her nephew. He was sentenced and obviously served time. Then he got let out and family courts refused contact for him many times with his son. He is now about to complete 10 years in the UK and has been detained many times and then given discretionary leave to remain whilst he pursued in his contact order. He has put himself and his ex wife in a legal battle for over 10 years.
I understand my husband will also be using the same route, if not similar to engage me in legal battles just so that he can stay in the country.

The fact that I haven't received court papers shows the calm before the storm. I am so scared that my Husband will take away my daughter. He isn't a sexual offender so as such has a clear record with the police so won't have too much problem convincing the courts to allow contact.

The main reason why he broke the marriage was obviously because he now had the ticket(daughter) to country and also because I refused to move in or near the sexual offender. I haven't applied for custody yet myself because I fear the courts may give him custody and what if my daughter is taken away? I'm so depressed and stressed with the waiting.

The home office are useless. They haven't curtailed his leave even though they can and my husband is getting high on his horse because of his brothers immigration history.

NorthernLurker Fri 09-Jun-17 18:43:03

Have you got legal advice? Are you actually trying to divorce him?

I wouldn't worry too much about him taking the child. He hasn't seen her for months and your bills criminal record is indisputable. Keeping your child safe shows you are a good mother and you are clearly the primary carer.

HollyBollyBooBoo Fri 09-Jun-17 18:52:12

Wow, you poor thing, I have no helpful legal advice but hope things improve soon flowers

traviata Sat 10-Jun-17 20:14:05

OP do you have any advice or support?

These people are really good and they have a helpline; Southall Black Sisters

LauraMipsum Tue 13-Jun-17 13:27:32

I'm an immigration specialist. This is what you need to do.

1) Report his violence to you during the marriage, and the theft of your belongings, to the police.

2) Report him as an immigration offender to the Home Office. If he has not told them that the marriage has broken down and he is living separately then he is in breach of the terms of the visa. You need to tell them that
a) he is no longer living with you, and (if possible) tell them where he is living if you know
b) that he has NO contact with his daughter
c) that he was violent to you during the course of the marriage and you believe he only married you for a visa. If you have the recording, make sure you have back ups of it and copies. Get a transcript made and send the Home Office that transcript, the crime reference number from the police report you made, and any further evidence you might have such as GP reports or letters from friends confirming you were the victim of domestic abuse. Give them a contact number and make clear you are happy to be contacted.

Do these two things NOW, not when his visa ends. You can report him to the Home Office here:

Or if you PM me whereabouts you and he are living, I will look up what your local immigration enforcement team is, so that you can contact them directly - this is much more likely to get a result.

3) Do NOT allow him contact on a voluntary basis. Just. Don't.

If he is able to show that he has a "genuine and subsisting" relationship with a British child then he is effectively un-removeable unless he is convicted of a criminal offence. He doesn't currently have that relationship, do not allow him one.

In the unlikely event that he does actually apply for residence (custody) of the child he won't get it because you are the resident parent already. You don't need to apply as the child is already with you.

If he applies for contact, oppose it, on the basis that it is not in your child's interests to be near a father who was violent to the mother, and it is not in your child's interests to begin building a relationship that the father only wants for visa purposes, and let the court hear the recordings.

I know people think immigration specialists look for immoral loopholes - we don't, we know what the law is and how to apply it. If you need a family solicitor with a thorough understanding of immigration law I can recommend one.

Coffeegirl123 Wed 21-Jun-17 20:01:42

Hi Laura,

Thank you so much for your immense advice. It was most helpful.

1) I reported it however the police have not done much except take a statement from me. Belongings have also been reported but I was also told that in a relationship, it is not classed as theft as we are both deemed to be the owners. I do actually have receipts of the belongings.

2)I have also done this and he has NOT informed Home Office
a)Done and given potential addresses however Home Office have not served any curtailment on him as his sex offender brother is still trying to force my mum to force me back together with him. (Obviously we are not that silly)
c)Done all except the transcript bit. Does that need to be verified by somebody? I also contacted immigration enforcement and they did not know what I was talking about. I will PM you my location.

I know he will eventually apply for a contact order which he will use to secure further leave for the UK. This is because his criminal brother has also been doing the same for the past 10 years. He entered UK as a spouse and committed offence and was imprisoned and then has been applying for discretionary leave since then and has been detained many times but managed to be bailed out. The family courts do not allow him access to his child at all and I think he is now applying for leave to remain under the 10-year private family life route. I do not know if he has been successful or not.

He teaches my husband the same things and my husband is also following in his footpath.

I understand not all lawyers are same, there are just some who are corrupt and create a bad name for the rest of you guys.

Please can you PM me.

Thanks for all your advice once again. smile

LauraMipsum Wed 21-Jun-17 23:15:29

There are sadly a few bad lawyers, although more in my experience who are good! (I would say that though wink)

The transcript doesn't have to be verified. The Home Office have a weird way of working where they don't really respond to what is sent to them but they log it on their system called CID and then when it comes to a decision will go back and look at everything on CID. So even if it feels as if you're sending information into a black hole, it should be logged.

I'd say go back to the police and ask them what they are doing about this. It's not legally correct to say belongings are shared in a relationship and they should be doing something about the DV.

For what it's worth the brother will not be entitled to leave under the 10 year rule if he has been in prison and on bail - it has to be ten years LAWFUL continuous leave and any period when he didn't have leave will disrupt it.

I will PM you about enforcement.

Out2pasture Wed 21-Jun-17 23:23:24

another MN amazing moment!!
i'm so happy the OP has been able to contact the right advice
well done smile

Coffeegirl123 Thu 22-Jun-17 11:32:39

Thanks - This is so useful smile

MissCherryCakeyBun Thu 22-Jun-17 11:50:36

Wow I really really hope this is sorted for you OP so pleased the Power of Mumsnet has helped you flowersflowers

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