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Piglet and Pooh - the slightly more sympathetic version

(1 Post)
Fuckitty Wed 29-Jun-16 09:47:27

Written by a friend from Twitter ... gave me pause, so I thought I'd share it here with you too (and apologies, have NC'd in case this makes me identifiable somehow).

'Seems we’re only talking in Winnie the Pooh memes now; so here’s MY version (from a Remain supporter):

"How did you vote?" asked Pooh.

"Leave," said Piglet.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," said Pooh, "Why the fuck did you do that?"

“Well, before I explain my reasoning to you, let’s just take a moment to talk about your tone,” said Piglet. “I’ve listened to you going on all through the campaign about ‘racists’ and ‘idiots’, and talking about ‘fucking chavs’. I think you even called someone a ‘cockwomble’ at one point – what does that even mean?”

“I was just being funny!” said Pooh.

“But you were talking to a guy who was worried about the impact immigration has on public services.”

“You know that was a lie, right?”

“No, I don’t know – because none of you lot ever explained WHY it was a lie! You just treated us like morons for not thinking the same thing you do.”

“But it’s been all over the news! The BBC—”

“I watched lots of stuff on the BBC, and read the website. But any time someone from one side made a claim, they had someone from the other side to say it was wrong!”

“Ok, fair enough. But the papers—”

“Both of the papers I read had loads of stuff – but they seemed to be talking about different things. And the one which talked about the things I care about, said to vote Leave!”

“So, why did you vote Leave?” asked Pooh.

“There were lots of reasons. I really don’t like all these EU regulations – I think they’re bad for business.”

“Oh come on, Piglet – most of that’s just made up by the tabloids!”

“No it isn’t – what about Rabbit, and all the problems he had with VAT MOSS?”

“… Wait, what’s VAT MOSS?”

“It’s EU rules about adding VAT to digital goods. Rabbit was selling iPhone wallpapers online, and he had to stop selling to people in Europe because it was too complicated. His sales have gone down 30%.”

“Oh.”

“And last year I tried to remortgage my house, but the bank said some EU regulation meant they couldn’t give me a new loan, even though my income hasn’t changed.”

“But… oh. Ok.”

“The biggest reason was my gran. She was renting a lovely little flat in Boston in Lincolnshire for ages – but she had to move miles away, because her landlord wanted to put the rent up. He said he could get more money from all the Poles and Romanians who come to pick the vegetables.”

“Aren’t there laws against that?”

“I don’t think so. Anyway, she’s had to move miles away from her friends. And her new hospital is rubbish – they’re always cancelling her appointments to look at her knees, and she can barely walk down the street now. She’s really miserable. So if leaving the EU can reduce immigration, and give some more money to the NHS, I thought that would be a good thing.”

Pooh looked thoughtful. “Oh. Well when you put it like that, it sounds… reasonable.”

“Yes. And I didn’t think it would matter anyway. You lot were treating it like a massive joke, and whenever I’ve voted before, it’s never made any difference – it’s always the same people that get in, no matter what.”

“This was different, Piglet! Why didn’t you say any of this before?”

“You never asked, did you?”

“I… I suppose I didn’t.”

“Well anyway, now I keep hearing from all these Leave people that actually the £350m won’t go to the NHS, and that we may still have loads of immigrants – and it seems like the economy’s in real trouble too. I’m furious – I feel like I’ve been lied to.”

“But we all told you this was lies! We warned you what would happen!” wailed Pooh.

“No you didn’t. You just called us racists for believing this stuff. And said we were idiots for wanting to destroy the economy. You didn’t tell us anything – you just shouted at us, and then laughed!” said Piglet, scowling at Pooh. “And now the country’s going to shit, and everyone’s telling me it’s all my fault!”

“Oh, fuck. Mate, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I didn’t think anyone I knew would be voting to Leave, to be honest.”

“That’s because you didn’t—”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t ask.” Pooh sniffed back a tear, his voice breaking as the reality of the situation sunk in. “I’m really sorry I didn’t listen to you. Maybe it would have been different. Oh, shit.”

Piglet sighed. “It’s ok, Pooh. Come on, let’s get drunk.”'

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