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Is this bullying - what next?

(6 Posts)
NewUserName4Today Tue 31-Jan-17 13:10:54

I'm not sure what I am looking for really, maybe just some support and a second opinion.

I have been in my job happily for many years. Recently a move around meant some people from another team moved in to my office. Two of them are quite tricky characters, they have strong opinions on things and in conversations, it's their way or the highway and other people are railroaded into either agreeing or shutting up.

I don't want to go into a massive amount of detail here as it will be very outing but they have made some really inappropriate 'jokes' and comments which have really upset me. I don't mind being made fun of but they have made comments about my family and called me a cunt for certain beliefs I hold (that I believe in God).

My manager heard that I had been upset and offered to speak to them. He spoke to them informally and to their manager and said the matter had been put to bed.

However today they are completely ignoring me. One of them sent a group email and excluded me, they have made a very big performance of ignoring me. There have also been passive aggressive comments between themselves clearly about me but not naming me.

I am distraught. I am considered a good worker, I had a great appraisal and I like my job. I don't want to leave, and don't see why I should have to.

I know I could raise a grievance but I don't want to 'rock the boat' and if it isn't upheld, they could cause trouble for me as they are now.

I'd be grateful for any advice.

RatherBeRiding Tue 31-Jan-17 17:28:02

Yes it's bullying, and quite open bullying at that.

I get that you don't want to rock the boat but in your position I would make it formal - the other option is to suck it up and let things get worse and worse until you either go off with stress or feel you have no option but to quit your job.

Speak to your manager again, tell him what you've said here and say you are going to make it formal unless action is taken.

Have you any witnesses who would back up your version of events? Have you got the email from which you were excluded (they will say it was an oversight. They will say you are over-reacting. They will say you are imagining it. They will come back with things you are supposed to have done that have upset them - be warned, it will get nasty.)

The name calling is disgusting, as is the complete disrespect for your religious beliefs - there for sure they are on very, very thin ice, and for that alone I would insist on making a formal complaint.

Talk to your manager in the first instance and HR - see what they suggest.

NewUserName4Today Tue 31-Jan-17 19:10:44

Thank you for replying. It has been awful today, a terrible atmosphere and sarky passive aggressive comments between the two of them said for me to hear but nothing I could call them out on.

It's the fact that things could get nasty that stops me making it formal. I could be up for a promotion soon and I don't want nastiness to get in the way.

Several times today I felt like I couldn't breathe, it's starting to make me poorly but my sickness record is good and I'd need it to be in tact come crunch time for promotion.

daisychain01 Tue 31-Jan-17 20:51:54

It will strengthen your case if you have a list of dates when each bullying activity or comment occurred and who was involved.

Time to name and shame them and get them banged to rights. Honestly, show you are brave and have the courage of your convictions. Do it formally, professionally and through the correct channels and they won't be able to push back on you.

Interesting that you are up for promotion and they aren't !

NewUserName4Today Tue 31-Jan-17 21:44:57

I've started recording things. They made some racist comments about one the girls who works on team today so I've recorded that even though it's not about me.

They're on a different team so we're not competing for the same job and we have different line managers. It was my manager who spoke to them informally but I get on well enough with their manager too.

It's making me sad at work, especially this petty silent treatment. If I have to make a phone call I can feel them listening to what I'm saying.

BrownEyedLady Tue 31-Jan-17 21:54:27

If you tell your manager about the racist comments you heard (which I think you should) or any further unprofessional behaviour from them, you need to tell her/him about the retaliation you experienced from last time and discuss how that should be handled. They would be sacked for the racist comment if it was found to have occurred at my place. Look ip the Equality Act - it is clear about the risks employers face from not upholding it.

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