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There's Chickens up Trees and BOGOF Deals from the Stork! We're Seeking out the Magic Potion whilst avoiding the Rogue Penis - Don't Flash your Cat, it's JS 57!

(1000 Posts)
ChatEnOeuf Tue 05-Jan-16 20:39:39

Fred rules (copied and adapted from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.
5. Thou shalt not be offended by the word vagina.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others. Also known as 'the witch', 'bitch witch' and 'that one with the red shiny convertible'

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a Kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit), or PIATLH (Tea light holder), PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in! PONF = Pee on Nigel Farage (Self explanatory)

ROC = Receptacle of Choice - what one chooses to use for the task of POAS. Optional decorations include photographs of controversial political leaders.

JIAC = Jizz in a Cup. Preferable to jizz on the carpet or jizz in the eye. This one's for the lucky men in our lives.

Jizz in a bra = how we transport the jizz to the Sperm Queen

Shagging like Something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into TTC obsession. Warning - this may happen to you if you start trying to POAS at 5dpo. PUT. THE. PISSY. STICK. DOWN. IT'S TOO EARLY!

Contraband (or Cuntraband) = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

SOTM = Shagger of the Month. Awarded with varying regularity to those viroids who go above and beyond EOD shagging in pursuit of that BFP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture. AKA Schroedingering!
TWPU - Two Week Piss Up!

Keeping your gingers = fingers crossed, yet another autocorrect development! Shortened to 'gx'

Doing A Lemon = Testing WAAAAAAAY to early!

Miroid - The male compadre of a viroid

Cat - Compulsory

Skittletits - Killer molten painful tits and nipples

Ghost jizz/goat jazz - When the amazing foof sucks up all the jizz - achieved when coming at the same time/nearly the same time.

The link to Part 56 is HERE

The current Grads Fred is HERE

The current Mumming Fred is HERE

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is HERE

The brilliantly pearl-clutchy Fred about 'how wooode' our Fred is darlings is HERE

Stats sheet is HERE

Recent research PROVING WE ARE RIGHT is HERE

We are the dark side of MN... Welcome!

Kwick709 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:03:13

Marking my space... Cannot believe it is #57 of this Fred!
Feeling despondent as am 2dpiui and already boobage is getting pre-witch like sad
Off to stick some Crinone up my vajayjay!

coribeth Tue 05-Jan-16 21:06:33

Yay actually managed to get in a start of Fred so stats
Name Cori
Age 39
Doc's 2xdds ( 21+17 ) and 1x ds ( 20 )
Fur babies 4 #madcatlady
Ttc for about 3 years
Currently one cycle contraband free jsing!

angelazul Tue 05-Jan-16 21:25:56

Thanks for starting the new fred Chat

Name Angel
Age 33
TTC #1 since Aug15
Cycle 6

Sulking now the witch has arrived, really wishing I hadn't proclaimed dry January angry

pretzelpieces Tue 05-Jan-16 21:35:21

Thanks chat

Placemarking! 35+6 upduffed with a watermelon sized mini pretzel.

corgi88 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:40:11

thanks chat!
Name: Corgi
Age: 27
TTC#1 since June 2015, mc in Dec 15.
Furbabies: 1 corgi
Cautiously redonning cape since MC bleeding stopped a few days ago, fully expecting a WTF cycle so much handholding will be needed! grin

Kwick709 Tue 05-Jan-16 21:57:01

BTW Corgi I reckon you should get the cape on as soon as you feel ready.

Not sure if I should give my stats too chat (muchas gracias for starting new Fred):
Name: kwick709
Age: 41 (but I only admit in true life to 21!!!!)
TTC #1: had first IUI with donor magic potion (feel all warm and fluffy that my term is in new Fred title) in September 2015, am currently on day 3 post 5th IUI
Furbabies: none but I bought ALL the WWF cuddly animals for my darling nephew - that must count for something?

Ain626 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:35:28

35 +6 already pretzel !?

My stats...

Name: Ain
Age: 28
TTC: #1. Been ttc for nearly 18 long months.
I have pcos, and rarely (if ever) ovulate. Next fc appointment in March where they will give me clomid if I lose enough weight. In the meantime I am js and hoping nature decides to take its course...
Fur baby: one little scruff dog.

So I went back to sw tonight after missing 3 weeks. Definitely put weight on over Christmas. Time to really kick myself up the arse and start doing it seriously again. Must. Get. Clomid!!!

lildottie Tue 05-Jan-16 22:39:26

Shamelessly placemarking

Name: queen lil (unless I've been replaced now?)
Age: 30
TTC: nov12-sept15
Dcs: none. 1ivf mc and currently incubating a turnip sized dc1 - 17weeks today!

Ain626 Tue 05-Jan-16 22:42:26

Oh, just for kicks, here are my two positive moments of the day...
1. I went on a short power walk on my lunch break today. Aim is to do this at least three days a week, building up to 5 days and longer walks.
2. I didn't cry when I saw a scan pic on Facebook.

One of my new years resolutions was to use Facebook a lot less. I have been succeeding. I'm still on it daily, but not ALL day. I've taken the Facebook app off my phone as I keep checking it, mostly out of habit... instead I've just been checking it quick on my laptop or tablet..

lildottie Tue 05-Jan-16 22:43:20

Wow js 57. Hard to believe I joined about #14!!

pretzelpieces Tue 05-Jan-16 22:48:29

Yep 36 weeks tomorrow ain it is ridiculous and wonderful and not a little bit terrifying. Won't feel real until she's safe in my arms. Keeping my gx for you always.

ChatEnOeuf Tue 05-Jan-16 22:59:55

Chat stats
TTC #3
DD 4, DS 36/40

Can't believe you're already 17w Lil!

coribeth Tue 05-Jan-16 23:38:42

Furbaby pics!

KitKat1985 Wed 06-Jan-16 09:11:01

Hello ladies. Mind if I join? TTC #2. Just recently came off the pill. Really have no time or energy left for charting, OPKs or any of that rubbish; so would rather just DTD regularly or at least when there's nothing good on TV and see what happens.

Love the pics Coribeth.

KitKat1985 Wed 06-Jan-16 09:13:46

Sorry stats are:
Age: 30 (DH a bit older and soon-to-be 35).
TTC: #2
Cycle 1.

LondonGirl83 Wed 06-Jan-16 09:46:53

Marking my place!

Name: London
Age: 32
TTC: number 1
DH- 37
Cycle: 3 post MC in October
Fur babies: 2 ragdoll cats

KeepTheHope Wed 06-Jan-16 15:33:10

Here to place mark and send huge congrats to sock!

Name: Keep
Age: 26
Ttc since September 2015
Bfp November 2015
DCs: none but currently incubating a 10+3 kumquat.

SockQueen Wed 06-Jan-16 16:38:39

Did some more pissing on sticks today, though you might appreciate a selection...

I'm still a bit shell-shocked to be honest, but starting to believe it a bit more. Have an early scan booked at FC next Thursday, which feels like about a million years!

fruitlovingmonkey Wed 06-Jan-16 16:46:24

Placemarking! My stats:
Dc: one fur baby and currently cooking a Yule log sized ds1

fruitlovingmonkey Wed 06-Jan-16 16:47:37

Brilliant dark lines there sock, giblets?

justtheonethen Wed 06-Jan-16 17:55:44

Fantastic selection sock!

Right stats:

Name: just
Age: 33
TTC: since August 2014 sad
DC: none, one fur baby though

MyBlackCat Wed 06-Jan-16 18:33:18

Checking in from holiday to say wowzers - great lines sock congratulations grin


34 ouch first time I have written that
TTC #1 since Dec 13 - mc June 14 @10weeks
1 furbaby

corgi88 Wed 06-Jan-16 18:44:36

Cracking selection of lined pissy sticks sock! whoohoo!

Any thyroid-viroids out there? My MW texted to say sorry about MC and mentioned I have a slightly elevated TSH of 5.08. I'm guessing if t4 is normal this is subclinical hypothyroidism, but can't find much about whether this needs to be replaced while TTC/preggers. Thoughts?

Kwick709 Wed 06-Jan-16 18:51:35

Wonderful selection sock - fantastic news!!!! Have you done a blood test with your clinic so they can check your progesterone levels and give you supplement if low? I only ask as my clinic likes to do on day 16 post iui (if bfp)... But that may be due to my advanced years!

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