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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Self-Insemination: Does it work?

51 replies

FailureToLaunch · 09/01/2015 18:41

Hello, I've name-changed because of the nature of our problem. Also, I hope you will forgive me but I've also posted this in Chat in case there is more traffic there.

My husband has occasionally suffered from erectile dysfunction when under pressure to perform and since TTC has taken our will to live recently he has found it much, much harder to ejaculate around ovulation time. I have tried keeping my fertile window to myself but he knows (why else would I want sex three days on the trot? ). He can usually ejaculate the first time of asking (so perhaps two days before ovulation) but then the two successive attempts are a shambles. I suggested he masturbate into a cup and my sister gave me an old syringe she used to use for her baby's ibuprofen. It seems like any other kind of syringe so we used it for the first time today.

What I am here for is to shamelessly ask for some encouraging stories from women who have self-inseminated. Which days did you inseminate and where did you buy your kit from? Is it essential to use one of those vaginal clamp things that a doctor would use during a smear (I don't have one)? Am I being pathetic to think this could work? I only have one fallopian tube, too

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nowwearefour · 09/01/2015 18:43

I have heard of someone who successfully became pregnant twice using this method. It isn't me but it is someone close to someone I know very well. Their dh has similar issues.

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 09/01/2015 18:49

Thank you for replying, now. I find it incredible that such a 'clumsy' and primitive way of inseminating can work. It all seems so improbable I'm very glad it can work though!

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sleepingdragon · 09/01/2015 18:52

Hi, I have a few friends who conceived their children through home insemination. It is definitely possible, I think your chances of success are the same as through natural insemination (from memory when I was looking into donor conception, and reading about whether so called natural insemination is more successful than artificial insemination - its the same product ending up in the same place, just via another route. You can buy artificial insemination/ home insemination kits off the internet, they are just a pot, a syringe and some ovulation kits bundled together with some instructions. You don't need a speculum, but you want to try to get the sperm as near your cervix as possible, to make the journey as easy as possible.

Good luck, I remember the TTC days, and the worries, very well

ninjabeer · 09/01/2015 18:52

There are lots of success stories out there and plenty of gay couples have conceived this way so no reason why it can't work for you. We're trying it so have fingers firmly crossed. Take a look at this website for some tips. www.prideangel.com/p121/home-insemination.aspx

Fx for you.

hrpufnstuf · 09/01/2015 18:55

we are currently 28 weeks pregnant having done this for just three months , all the usual stuff applies - a couple of tries each month timed to fit with ovulation, ideally a day or two in-between (to give sperm levels time to build up), no need for any medical kit, just a long enough syringe will do, don't use lubricant unless it's PreSeed...oh and don't forget to have fun yourself IYSWIM after inseminating, as that apparently really helps...seriously!

Best of luck!

sleepingdragon · 09/01/2015 18:55

Fertility friends also have a number of stories and tips on their message boards, e.g. www.fertilityfriends.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=238767.0

bonzo77 · 09/01/2015 19:01

I have been in your situation. We did the syringe thing. The real bonus was that it took the pressure off DH to perform. Quite often I'd "help him" to produce the goods, and quite often that would result in normal shagging. In the end I got pregnant the traditional way.

Also, 3 days in a row is not required. I'm finally pregnant after 16 months or maybe more of trying. We only dtd 3 times this month around my fertile time, and actually that was every other day starting 3 days before the day I thought I would ovulate. We also had 2 non ttc - related shags, one on day 10 and one on about day 22, both well outside my normal fertile time.

Point being, DH finds every day difficult. He also finds every other day touch if it goes on for more than a week. There's a lot of pressure to perform. Taking the pressure off by doing it less often, incorporating some self insemination, and keeping the romance alive for more of the month all help.

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 09/01/2015 19:31

Oh, you have all been brilliant! I feel encouraged that this could work, thank you so much. I am going to use those links straightaway

The problem we have has been exacerbated, I think, by the fact that we have stopped having sex at any time other than around ovulation. This is absurd and self-perpetuating, I know, but we are so sick of the pressure and stress of it that we have clearly lost the art of intimacy. In fact, I feel like smacking him round the head with a frying pan for not being some filthbag who wants to screw me all the time and dump gallons of his jizz inside me

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hrpufnstuf · 09/01/2015 23:01

TTC is a well-known passion killer, and unfortunately whilst us girls can usually fake it if we need to (but I even got bored of doing that) the boys struggle with the pressure and the mechanics just pack up...

Any chance you could you give yourselves a couple of months off ttc and see if the spark comes back a bit? Ditch the charts and the fertility technology and remind yourselves what sex for fun feels like - treat yourself (and him) to some snazzy underwear or some toys and most importantly, don't do this during your fertile time, do it when he's not expecting it. Spoil him a bit and watch his ego...and other things...rise to the occasion!

With regard to the inseminations, like Bonzo we ended up with quite a varied repertoire, sometimes he just did his stuff, sometimes I did it for him, and quite often we started off intending to inseminate but then the old-fashioned option made itself available so we did that instead.

And we got our BFP with an insemination two days later than the chart said was possible (he was like a bloody teenager that weekend ) so you don't need to be nearly as regimented as you might think.

QOD · 09/01/2015 23:23

I have a 16 yr old Dd as proof it works!
But personal but apparently orgasm straight after insemination helps.
Dd is a surrogate baby, dh and my friend both got their rocks off and joking about it kept me sane

ProcrastIWillFinishThisLater · 09/01/2015 23:39

My friend's ds was conceived this way - well, a turkey baster. It was on the first and only try. Not sure how close to ovulation exactly. Good idea - thinking outside the box!

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 10/01/2015 09:50

hrp, thank you so much for your bits of advice. I am determined to buy a dildo to use during foreplay (if only to look as though I'm involved with the whole thing instead of lying there like a rabbit caught in the headlights, terrified that he won't ejaculate). QOD, what a brilliant share, thank you..and congratulations! Ninja, I'm glad I looked at that site you posted a link to; now I know I've been squirting the semen too fast from the syringe. This, apparently, can cause the sperm to hit the cervix too fast and they become stunned

Thanks to all who have replied, I'm very grateful.

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fairyelephantswellies · 10/01/2015 09:59

My mum was a nurse in the 50's, 60's and 70's. This was more common and there's no doubt that it works. She reckons the Turkey Baster worked the best

ninjabeer · 10/01/2015 10:27

Ha ha ha. I love the thought of the little fellas being stunned when they meet my fanjo!

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 10/01/2015 11:04

I have just bought a pack of ten syringes (10ml) from Amazon and will order a mooncup when I have the cash There were some smashing tips on the fertility friend website: keep the syringe plugged into the vagina after insemination to prevent leakage and orgasm so that the rhythmic contractions draw the sperm up. I'm going to buy a vibrator whether DH feels emasculated or not

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Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 10/01/2015 11:05

Thank you for the encouragement, fairy.

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CountryMummy1 · 10/01/2015 11:16

We had unexplained infertility and after 4 years TTC...nothing. One night we were just too knackered to do the deed so I syringed it. Lo and behold, pregnant that month. Turns out I can only get pregnant when we use the syringe. Doctor said because DH's sperm are a bit slow, it might just deposit them slightly further up and help them along but who knows.

Been pregnant 7 times using the syringe method (2 live babies from this). Never been pregnant doing it the normal way.

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 10/01/2015 11:46

Incredible, countrymummy! Thanks for coming to share.

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MrsGingerbread · 10/01/2015 12:21

Hello!

I'm also watching this thread with interest.

Instead of a mooncup try softcups. They sit a lot closer to the cervix than a mooncup. You can get them from Amazon and they are really easy to use once you get the hang of them.

Good luck!

ninjabeer · 10/01/2015 17:08

Mrsgingerbread you beat me to it. Soft cups much better than mooncup for thisale job. Although mooncups are a great alternative to tampons you save a fortune whenot the witch is in town.

So good to hear success stories from you ladies. Has made me feel so much more optimistic about our efforts!

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 10/01/2015 17:37

Yes, it is brilliant that people have kindly come to encourage us I intend to force DH to wank into a cup after every brew

Mooncups are flipping expensive. I am off to google soft cups...

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Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 10/01/2015 17:59

MrsGingerbread, Ninjabeer, AnyoneElse: Are you on a TTC thread already? If not, should we set one up especially for women like us? We could bust the myths of male sexuality and sperm! We could support each other as we squirt! We could bake cakes in the shape of syringes and vibrators! We could change the world!

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MrsGingerbread · 10/01/2015 21:40

He he.

I am on the 'ttc buses'- but I am happy to be on as many threads as will have me. :)

The softcups are handy- not only do they make a sterile 'pot' for dh to aim at, you can also pop them in after you syringe to try and keep the swimmers up there. :)

Alternatively you can just pop the full softcup straight inside - but that can result in spilling. .. tricky to do.

A couple of tips I have found online -
*latex free syringes (all plastic) is supposed to be best
*if you use lube make sure it is PreSeed or Conceive Plus as swimmers like those ones

Anyone else got any tips or advice?

Sparkly123 · 11/01/2015 12:00

Hi everyone! I am on the Jan Bus but noticed this thread, I am using at home insemination too. On my 4th cycle now. Hoping this is the one!! I was given all the equipment by the fertility clinic - only enough for a six month supply though and we are pretty much finished it now! They give you a small cathetar alongside the syringe which gets further.
It's good to hear of others this has worked for and gives me hope!

Original poster

FailureToLaunch · 11/01/2015 17:16

Sparkly, I wish you all the luck in the world

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