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Hubby works away

(7 Posts)
Ajords1 Wed 05-Feb-14 22:33:52

Hello does anyone have any tips on how not to be frustrated / take it out on hubby for working away! I have irrational moments of thinking universe is against us e.g went away yesterday for 2-3weeks work, my fertile window is today through to sat/Sunday! Just frustrating knowing that we are not even in with a chance this month.

Any Tips on how not to become a miserable cow are very much appreciated!!! smile

tinywife Wed 05-Feb-14 22:42:53

Sorry - I don't have any advice as we haven't started trying yet, but will be watching with interest! My hubby works abroad a lot, usually 8 weeks on 2 weeks off which is tough at the best of times.

Is it a permanent working arrangement for you OH? Can you travel to him for the weekend? We're going to try and plan short breaks away at the right time using annual leave if necessary!!

Ajords1 Thu 06-Feb-14 07:27:41

Thanks for your message smile no unfortunately no chance of travelling with hubby as he is offshore! Bit tricky. He's also never had a regular rotation which makes planning things impossible!!

Will just have to hope everything falls into place shortly!!! It'll happen when it's meant to smile

Butler4 Thu 06-Feb-14 09:53:18

Hi ajords I am in the same boat. My husband works offshore and does a two weeks away and three weeks home rotation. We have been ttc number 1 for over a year now. To be honest there is no answer to being frustrated you just have to get on with it to be honest. I know this isnt helpful.

We have just had 3 months where he has been home for ov time but now we face 2 cycles where he is away. It has come at a time where I think it may be helpful for us both to relax and just not think about it for a while. We also often have conversations of how lucky we are and fortunate that we have everything we could ever want/need because of his job and it has also allowed us the opportunity to grow stronger as a couple with the distance bringing us closer. I know this sounds strange but it really helps me realise that if having a baby is meant to be it will happen. Its just a waiting game.

We are currently having tests and being referred to specialist service but gp said we would not meet certain criteria just yet because of not being able to have regular sex at the right time.

Sorry for the long post. Hope it helps.

MrsNutjob Thu 06-Feb-14 13:41:10

Hi Ajords smile I totally hear you - my hubby works overseas a lot on a completely irregular and therefore un-plannable basis. It definitely is frustrating, and I don't have any magical answer. But, the following things have helped for me:

1. If you haven't already, find some way of predicting when your fertile time is likely to be (I use the Fertility Friend app, and I'm lucky enough to have regular cycles), and share your best guesses for the next 3 months with your hubby. It doesn't always make a difference, but sometimes my hubby can swing his flights a few days one way or the other to be home at the right time.

2. Make the most of the months you can't be together to chill out and improve your fertility. I admit. I haven't done this! So it's a bit theoretical smile But I've been driving myself (and my husband) CRAZY the last 4 months trying to get pregnant, and as we've now got a month apart, I tend to spend it a) not being mental, b) eating a bit better and c) getting some exercise. The fact is, he's not going to be there and nothing's going to change that, so I'm going to enjoy the break from ludicrous symptom spotting and try and get some me time.

Ajords1 Thu 06-Feb-14 15:30:51

Thanks ladies - all great encouraging posts, and although it may sound silly it's just reassuring to know in not the only one facing this situation.

My sister is visiting in a few days and I can have a few guilt free glasses of vino!! winkwink

Butler4 Thu 06-Feb-14 20:00:17

Well said mrsnutjob, I feel that the word mental is probably the best word to describe how I have been feeling/acting the last few months. It's encouraging to know we are not alone.

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