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Round up your ghosties and ghoulies and long legged beasties, the BESH are going to scare out the BFPs!

(986 Posts)
sinkyroselee Mon 01-Oct-12 08:55:10

Its true, NGCECOAWT, so the BESH move on.

Join us in spooky October, for a different sort of Pagen fun. Sod the lentil weaving and organic bean bags, we're channelling pointy black hats, green tinged foundation and probably a bit of Harry Potter.

Join us for cursing of the insta-diffs, moments of pure love and the horrors of the cam of the fanjo - post the Beshtionnaire and the coven will judge you.

This is not a woo thread (TINAWT)

<Draws wonky pentagram on floor>

eurochick Tue 02-Oct-12 16:15:57

Norfy he is only interested in stirring a clean caldron. So I will have to wait for the droid to bugger off.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 02-Oct-12 16:31:21

I am so inordinately proud of myself I have to tell someone. I am alone in the house/office and saw a large-ish spider on the wall. I am no coward about creatures and stuff, but spiders are my thing. I removed it with a glass and a piece of card! By myself!


Eyes are almost normal now - I may be able to face the outside world before too long. Doc gave me an epipen and I have to go for "training" confused. I thought it was just a question of jabbing into my thigh! Oh well, may as well get used to injecting myself with needles. There's be enough of them before long.

Northey Tue 02-Oct-12 17:40:39

<promotes aries to witch's helper-in-training (3rd class)> Good girl. Well done!

eurochick Tue 02-Oct-12 17:50:37

Rie you need one of these:

Spider catcher thingummy

I'm now on my second. They are brilliant and the only way I can deal with the little beasties when I am on my own.

I'm glad your allergy is sorting itself out. It sounded nasty!

FrankelSaysRelax Tue 02-Oct-12 18:23:51

Well done on the spider-catching Rie. I usually just point the cat at them blush

Fanks for the FF burning. I've decided to ignore it grin

What's everyone up to this evening?

DolomitesDonkey Tue 02-Oct-12 18:27:46

Hello ESH witches. A Halloween thread is very good I think, 4 (FOUR, that's one mroe than three) of us got diffed on halloween in 2009 - not saying we're a bunch of ol' witches or anything.

northey/ariel If your weekend plans change pls to let me know? I'm flying in to Manchester (because seriously... that's like the closest place hmm) on thursday and I don't even have a riding lesson booked until Monday so I will be ready to kill by saturday, but promise not to kill either of you if you make it anywhere in the vicinity.

queenrollo Tue 02-Oct-12 18:37:58

<<appears in puff of smoke 'wicked witch of the west stylee'>>

just popping in to mark my place so this thread doesn't disappear into the ether, as I like to keep up with all your news.

<<tops up jars with eye of Olivia Newton-John, hair of Dog The Bounty Hunter and calls up the spirit of Bill Hicks to aid in the general sweary, no-nonsense attitude of the BESH>>

Northey Tue 02-Oct-12 19:01:57

Ooh, was aries going to be in Wales??

Have got stupid blood test on Saturday morning now (in London) and am a bit wavery on whether to hurtle west afterwards, if it would only be for 24 hours...

DolomitesDonkey Tue 02-Oct-12 19:21:24

I shall make you visit me next time Northey although am quite happy to take your blood and look at it under a microscope. What are we looking for? plague? fleas? Lezbots? Naaaaah, that there aries REFUSED to come to Wales, but one day we'll tempt her. We'll have the Taff gang out in force and we'll go to Barry Island and eat ice-cream and pretend we're Nessa (middle-aged mothers with dubious pasts).

HaveALittleFaith Tue 02-Oct-12 19:29:48

My house mate and I used to go on 'adventures' to Barry Island when I was at uni in Cardiff ok, ok UWIC! Flipping luffed it! Watching Gavin and Stacey makes me nostalgic smile

Excellent spidery catching riehie geebies. I did similar last week with a big 'un hanging from a door way at work!

frank I reckon it'll pop back up and the fiend will change its mind tomorrow!

I am a bit sad because I finished in my lovely role today and have to go back to the ward! Aargh! But 8 working days off first (yay!).

DolomitesDonkey Tue 02-Oct-12 19:44:48

Yep, we were watching Gavin & Stacey last week so I dug out the photo album of me as a baby sat in the sand in front of the wall. And Pickle looks exactly like me - so sweet!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 02-Oct-12 20:03:28

I do want to come! <whines>

But I have to attend a family do.

In Dorset <gets out noose and looks for a handy beam>

Northey Tue 02-Oct-12 21:17:53

Dorset is lovely! Though I accept that family may not be.

I am bleeeeeeding. The dead jelly sort. <adds to cauldron> It is gross. I guess hcg has got low enough for all the remnants to give up and come out. (that's what the blood test is measuring, donkey).

ThisWitchSinks Tue 02-Oct-12 21:45:29

Well... That's good i suppose norf. A bit gross, but good nonetheless.

Still bleeding here, which is irritating. Do I try and cajole ghj into a bit of sechy fun? Having had no intrest for weeks, I'm now actually gagging for it.

And now I've just grossed myself out.

ThisWitchSinks Tue 02-Oct-12 21:46:23

Oh, and.... Bear with me....

In Dorset?

Why yes, I'd reccomend it to anyone.

Bada boom.

FrankelSaysRelax Tue 02-Oct-12 21:50:54

I have to go to a family wedding in Blackpool this weekend. All kinds of "fun" family politics involved - father of the bride (HWHNN's uncle) has paid for 50% of the wedding but is not "allowed" (according to his ex-wife) to give his daughter away, give a father of the bride speech or sit at the top table. The bride is going along with it to keep her fruit loop mother happy.

HWHNN's uncle didn't see either of his children for almost 10 years when he and his wife divorced, but kept paying over and above what the CSA said he had to pay. Meantime the fruit loop told all her family, and the children, that their father had abandoned them and hadn't given her a penny.
She's also banned the uncle's "new" wife (they've been married almost 10 years now!) from the wedding and has been telling her family that they got divorced because he was having an affair with the "new" wife. Conveniently forgetting the fact that they didn't even meet until 6 months after the divorce was finalised hmm

I will be taking a tin hat and casting protection spells all over the place!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Tue 02-Oct-12 23:03:09

Bloody hell Frank. This makes my Dorset weekend soynd utterly idyllic.

Northey Wed 03-Oct-12 06:13:27

Ugh, frank. I can imagine that will be a very tense day.

FrankelSaysRelax Wed 03-Oct-12 07:16:48

Tell me bout it! Think we'll need to plan a secret escape route or summat, if it all turns nasty confused

In better(?) news, FF has reinstated ovulation for Friday, even though my temps have been below the mystical cover line for 2 days now. Praps I'm ill, hence weird temps [coughs feebly]

eurochick Wed 03-Oct-12 10:59:20

Frankel that sounds horrific! The tin hat sounds essential.

evilgiraffe Wed 03-Oct-12 12:20:12

<pushes open dread portal with ominous creak>

Er, hello, I'm new. Someone said something about a questionnaire? What do I need to do to get through the initiation ritual? I have two cats, if that helps.

<awaits judging>

HaveALittleFaith Wed 03-Oct-12 12:29:32

<sniff sniff> I smell a newbie! Search for BESHtionnaire, find a completed one, copy and paste your answers (try and find one fron the last few months because it was updated a bit!). We will then stick you over the melting pot, light a fire under you, see if you float and judge you accordingly!

Howdy BESHy witches. I have been keeping my beady (glass) eye on you all. Fire and brimstone to all the family gatherings. I am officially on holiday (hooray) and have spent most of the morning lolling on the sofa. Only 2 weeks, 2 hours til my scan not that I'm counting!

FrankelSaysRelax Wed 03-Oct-12 12:36:41

Evil, old buddy, old pal! How nice of you to join us!

Find the BESHtionnaire and we will commence judgement you've got my vote already

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Wed 03-Oct-12 13:25:29

Evil.....<struggles to get creaky old memory working>

Weren't you a one time Frolicker?

evilgiraffe Wed 03-Oct-12 13:44:13

Righto, here's my submission. <waits anxiously>

1) Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')

I love gin.  In order of preference (best first): Tanqueray, Leopold's, Brecon, Hendricks, Whitley Neill, Gordon's, Bombay Sapphire, William Chase.

2) Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?

Well, both, I think.  DH is older than me (just about), but I regularly lust after appreciate gorgeous younger men (actors, sportsmen and the like).  Exhibit (a) - Mark Cavendish.

3) Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
a) weewee
b) poopoo
c) foofoo
d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.

They're not supposed to go in fully formed, are they?  Shit, I've been doing it wrong for YEARS if that's the case...

4) Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.

They always fecking well are, so no need to test.  But a punch in the kidneys seems reasonable.

5) Is R2D2:
a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
b) the source of all evil.

An adorable robot!  Nowhere near as brilliant as Bender from Futurama though, who remains far and away my favourite robot.

6) what colour are your walls?

Some are magnolia, some are blue.  All are starting to fade a bit and thus the horrendous bright orange from the previous owners is starting to bleed through.

7) Number of pets?

Two, both cats.  One is ancient and grumpy, the other is huge and stupid.

8) Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?

Jeremy Clarkson...  I know, I'm sorry.

9) Lesbian crush?

It has to be Scarlett Johansson.  I could not keep my eyes off her arse when watching Avengers Assemble.

10) What are your views on camping?

Camping comes with cycling.  This means ample opportunity to ogle DH's rather nice legs, so camping is fine by me.

11) How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?

i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
ii) Over 100 quid
iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks

Hah, I spent <£100 quid, but the feckers are now out of date and gathering dust as I appear to be annoyingly regular, so "lateness" and therefore opportunities to pee on sticks are few and far between.  I am considering some sort of ritual disposal.

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