Went to see dads doctor yesterday. To talk about what went wrong and what caused his death..
Feel so guilty now for not realising dad was so very ill the day after he came out of hospital and didnt stop the night to keep an eye on him with my mum. He just kept saying he was ok.
He would not get showered or dressed - just sat in in pajamas. In a sort of depressed state - which we thought was normal after his major op, he only just got home from hospital on the saturday. Why did'nt he tell us he felt so ill the next day.
He just sat and waited all through the night suffering. Getting my mum to ring his doctor the next morning. I feel so mad at him for being so foolish. By the time his doctor got there he could hardly find a pulse.
When I rang first thing in the morning to see how he was. All I got was - he thinks he needs oxygen, he's feeling breathless.
I'm so mad at myself for not being there and mad at him for being so stubborn. He did'nt give himself a chance.
Seeing the doctor has raked it all up again.
Before seeing doctor believed that dad did'nt have any chance of recovering from his condition.
But now know that if he had got there earlier - he could still be here with now.
Has anyone else had these feelings of guilt over there parents death?
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Saw dads doctors to talk about dads case - feel guilty for not calling 999 earlier
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anastasia74 · 22/08/2009 09:15
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