I thought this might be a good place to get some perspective on this - apologies for the intrusion as I'm not yet a mum or even trying to become a mum just yet, but I would really value any thoughts you may have.
In DP and my "marriage and babies" discussions, a major sticking point has come up.
DP went to boarding school at seven and loved it. He freely admits that he was very homesick when he first went and cried all the time, but is convinced that it has made him independent and played a big part in his successes in life. I think he would have been independent and successful wherever he went to school, and that being sent away from home at seven had nothing to do with it. He thinks he was given sporting and academic opportunities he wouldn't have been able to get without boarding. I disagree, and frankly even if this was true I don't think that would make up for being separated from the rest of the family (his sister did not board) from such a young age - and this was (obviously) pre-mobile phones and they weren't even allowed to call home from a pay phone, just write weekly letters which were vetted by their housemaster.
I was a day girl at a mixed day/boarding school and don't feel I missed out on anything by not boarding, although all my cousins boarded from seven. My brother never boarded either (and is, incidentally, following a very similar career path as DP and looks set to do just as well).
The sticking point is that DP wants his sons to board from seven as well (although apparently daughters will be saved from this "privilege"). I don't want this at all - I could possibly compromise with thirteen, although even then I wouldn't be very keen, as thirteen still seems very young and surely teenagers are really just as much in need of parenting as younger children, even if they don't show it as much. Basically, and possibly terribly arrogantly, I think I can do a better job of parenting than a school/housemaster can, and also want to have my children at home with me.
DP thinks I am being unreasonable for refusing to even countenance his wishes. Am I being unreasonable?
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AIBU?
AIBU in not wanting my (future) child to go to boarding school at seven?
124 replies
LoveInAColdClimate · 03/11/2008 10:50
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