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dd was found in the street by a passer by this morning

(138 Posts)
totalmisfit Fri 03-Oct-08 14:23:35

She had escaped from nursery. I am actually feeling a panic attack coming on as i write this so i'll try to convey what I have been told happened.

At around 11.30 she was sitting on the knee of a staff member. At that point it was time for the older 'nursery proper' (as opposed to the daycare section which she is a part of, as she's only 2.6) children to go home. Mothers arrived and somehow in the hubbub dd managed to get passed the nursery nurse who was on the door,down the steps, out of a disabled access (push button) door, through the car-park, out of the gate and into the street.

At around 11.40 she was found by two passers by (a man and a woman) who asked another passer by if she was her child. She said no, so the woman in the couple took dd into a local shop to see if she had escaped from there. When she was told 'no' she took her back to the car and phoned the police. After doing this she took her to the nursery.

I arrived at 11.50 (due to pick her up at 12 but arrived early). The woman who found her was talking very angrily to the nursery staff as i walked in, but at this stage i didn't know who she was or what had happened. One of the members of staff said 'X is over there' pointing to the wendy house. I looked inside and saw dd's hair was wet. I commented on this and it was only then that the nursery manager told me what had happened.

We were then joined by the woman who had found dd who told me how she had found her and what she had done. She advised the police were on their way. Nursery manager very apologetic, made me a cup of tea. I just felt utterly numb, I couldn't really react. I still can't believe this has happened.

The police arrived at about 12.10 and nursery manager and I went into a separate room to talk to them. They took some details from me, our names and addresses and asked nursery manager what had happened. They said they were just glad she had been found and didn't consider it a criminal investigation and that it was now up to the nursery to conduct their own internal investigation. I said 'well do you have the name of the people who found her' because the woman i had met had left by this point. and they were a bit taken aback by this and said 'well no. do you have it?' to the manager. She said no. They then radioed to get the name and address although they said they couldn't give it to me.

I said i didn't want it anyway, i just wanted to make sure they had it for their records.

I'm sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense, i'm having trouble keeping it together right now. I still can't believe this happened and needed to share it. Hopefully lessons can be learned from this.

Part of me is just so thankful nothing worse happened and that she's safe at home. But then another part of me thinks 'what the fuck? why are you thankful? this should never have happened in the first place'

Saturn74 Fri 03-Oct-08 14:26:14

Thank goodness she's safe and well!
What are the nursery going to do now?
Will you send her back there?

Dragonbutter Fri 03-Oct-08 14:26:17

that is unforgiveable.

lulumama Fri 03-Oct-08 14:28:52

my child would not be going back to that nursery for sure.

i am glad she is safe and well, but that is horrifying

there should be systems and checks to ensure that once a child is in there care, they cannot leave the building they are in, a child walking out in the daily melee of people arriving is unforgiveable

it should be a situation they handle constantly so no excuse

totalmisfit Fri 03-Oct-08 14:29:03

nursery manager rang a little while ago to apologise profusely and say they are thoroughly investigating it, taking it very seriously and putting in new security members ( two staff members on the door). They are also thinking of enforcing some kind of electronic tagging system and will be signing all children in and out.

Right now i can't see myself taking her back there.

LouMacca Fri 03-Oct-08 14:29:40

Jesus, what a shock for you. My heart is in my throat just reading this. As Db says its totally unforgiveable.

So pleased your daughter is safe and well ((hugs))

Hangingbellyofbabylon Fri 03-Oct-08 14:30:04

I'm so sorry to hear all of this - how is dd now? I would have very grave reservations about sending my child back there and I also think the other parents would want to know what happened. Look after yourself, you've had a terrible shock.

onepieceoflollipop Fri 03-Oct-08 14:30:04

totalmisfit I was on the verge of crying as I read your post. What an awful and shocking experience for you and your dd. Thank goodness that those kind passers by chose to get involved.

Dragonbutter Fri 03-Oct-08 14:30:09

they will be very worried that you might go to the papers. i have to say i'd be very tempted although am not sure what it would achieve.

siblingrivalry Fri 03-Oct-08 14:30:40

God, that is absolutely horrendous! I think your feelings will become a lot clearer to you once the shock has worn off. I can't even begin to imagine being in your shoes.How is your dd? x

BlueBumedFly Fri 03-Oct-08 14:31:01

Oh my goodness you poor women. The Nursery are negligent, no child should be exposed to that kind of danger. Can you report them to Ofsted (not sure if they are the right people?) They should be having a full investigation and put new systems in place to make sure this NEVER happens again to anyone.

Does DD like it there? Could you move her?

Bless you, I am so glad she is fine but you are right, this should never have happened.

lulumama Fri 03-Oct-08 14:31:02

surely it is locking the door after the horse has bolted? it is the one thing i think nurseries etc should always be watching out for.. it would be too late for me

StopSittingOnTheBabyPlease Fri 03-Oct-08 14:31:03

That's really bad. Is she any the worse for it? I'm not surprised you're feeling panicky.

What do they say they're going to do now?

Are you going to be ok this afternoon, is anyone there with you?

ComeOVeneer Fri 03-Oct-08 14:31:10

That is outrageous. Part of me would say my child would never go back there, part of me would say after this has happened they will really buck up their ideas and it would be the safest place for her. Not sure, but thank goodness she was found and is safe>

Habbibu Fri 03-Oct-08 14:31:14

Bloody hell. That's appalling. Would it be worth contacting OFSTED? They should certainly re-check the nursery's security procedures. You poor thing - am glad your dd is ok, but you must be feeling horrible.

happystory Fri 03-Oct-08 14:31:20

How absolutley dreadful for you. I hope your dd is quite unfazed by the matter.

One question I would be asking is had they missed her? I jolly well hope their procedures had kicked in if they did. And if they hadn't noticed, how come?

This has the potential to happen at our playgroup, leader gets chatting to a parent, next child gets fed up of waiting for mummy and heads for the door...but for that reason we have one person on the gate seeing people out.

You should demand an inquiry into this and a change of procedure.

onepieceoflollipop Fri 03-Oct-08 14:33:15

totalmisfit you will probably feel in shock for a day or two. Try and look after yourself, I know that sounds a bit odd but you have had a terrible experience and it must have really shaken you terribly.

Saturn74 Fri 03-Oct-08 14:33:21

I'd be sending a very strongly worded letter of complaint to the nursery owners.

Make sure you document exactly what happened.

Tell them you want a written response from them, and that it must clearly state what went wrong, and how they are going to ensure it never happens again.

Your DD was lucky that a sensible and caring person took care of her when she went outside. The consequences could have been unthinkable otherwise.

A telephone call with an apology is not good enough.

I would make sure that other parents that use the nursery are aware of the situation too, so they can put pressure on the staff to get this sorted.

totalmisfit Fri 03-Oct-08 14:33:27

thanks all - your kind words are soothing my frayed nerves.

db, i'd be lying if i said going to the papers hadn't crossed my mind, but like you say, i'm not really sure what that would achieve.

The only positive outcome from all this would be if making a bigger fuss meant that this never happened to another child ever again.

I agree, other parents have a right to know that this happened. The town we live in is very close knit, so i can't imagine they could keep it quiet even if they wanted to

monkeymonkeymonkey Fri 03-Oct-08 14:33:52

Unforgivable. Can you find a new nursery? I imagine they would have little hope of enforcing any notice period now.

medogsarebarking Fri 03-Oct-08 14:34:17


So she had been missing for at least 10 mins and no-one noticed?

Terrible thing to happen, poor you and poor DD. I'd be very reluctant to take my dd back there - the things the manager says they are putting in place should have been in place anyway. Thank god for the couple who found her.

mrsruffallo Fri 03-Oct-08 14:36:30

Total misfit- that is terrifying, esp as she is only two and a half
Do you know who it was on the door?
Obviously you need to make a formal complaint.
I don't know if I would send her back there

GeorgeTheCarpetThrasher Fri 03-Oct-08 14:36:42

my dd is exactly the same age as yours tm.

I felt sick reading that - what a shock

OneLieIn Fri 03-Oct-08 14:37:14

Oh misfit, that is truly scary. I would instantly report them to OFSTED, because OFSTED have the power to inspect, report and make them change. Also if you report it to OFSTED, it is officially on the record.

Please contact Ofsted. They will be best I would have thought.

I would also formally write to the nursery (and the company that owns it) saying what has happened and you want to know what they are going to do about it.

I know that DCs at that age can be lacking in sense (my DC was run over just a little bit older) but I am sure you will explain to your DC that she must not ever leave the nursery or any other environment like that again.

I am glad you are all OK. I can imagine it was a massive shock.

happystory Fri 03-Oct-08 14:37:20

I would tell Ofsted. That way they are obliged to come in and inspect them. And the nursery will have to implement any changes.

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