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MIL has picked to wear a WHITE DRESS at my wedding.

(114 Posts)
Iamnotbridezilla Wed 13-Aug-08 12:36:34

She has done everything she can to irritate me and caused loads of problems for our wedding.

Then when we got our son christened she wasn't centre of attention so she sat there with a face on her, sent her H over to have a go at me, was annoyed that my mum had held the baby more than her even though my mum made an effort to pay for the christening unexpectedly, come over and hold the baby, and take him round to see other people so they could hold her. MIL didn't even come over to see him and went mad that we didn't take him over. Then she left early with SIL's DP's parents to go to another pub.

Now she has minded the baby the other day, purposely doesn't listen to what I tell her to do with him- didn't even give him his medicine, because she wants to be his mum because she's infertile now.

When I went to pick him up she got all excited and showed me a pic of the dress she's getting for my wedding. It is white and floaty.

No one should wear white to a wedding but she's obviously doing it on purpose to be centre of attention.

I didn't take the baby to see her much when he'd just been born as I wanted us to spend the first week as a family. She has slagged me off a lot and been really awkward over this.

It's like she's hideously jealous of me.

She even copies my hairstyles and colours everytime I get it done and she dresses young and tries to relive her youth.

So AIBU? I wouldn't wear a white dress to someone's wedding.

Iamnotbridezilla Wed 13-Aug-08 12:37:48

Sorry, hold HIM, the baby is a boy, not a 'her'

dizzydixies Wed 13-Aug-08 12:38:01

time for your dh to step up and have a word with his mother re her petty behaviour

RubyRioja Wed 13-Aug-08 12:38:31

No, it is not the done thing to wear white to a wedding. She would look petty and ridiculous. I think your DP needs to say something

ImnotOK Wed 13-Aug-08 12:39:18

Mil you can never win hmm,if she wears the dress could you employ your chief bridesmaid to be chief accidental thrower of red wine over mil's dress wink just a thought.

LittleBella Wed 13-Aug-08 12:39:38

No yanbu she is a lunatic.

But don't worry, everyone else at the wedding will also know she's a lunatic, it is very bad manners what she's doing and will invite criticism of her, not you. Don't worry about it, don't let her get to you, rise above it.

LittleBella Wed 13-Aug-08 12:40:16

LOL at your posting name btw grin

Weegle Wed 13-Aug-08 12:40:19

What does it matter? She's the one who will look like a fool. Your guests know who the bride is.

Iamnotbridezilla Wed 13-Aug-08 12:40:19

He thinks it's time to say something too, but she hasn't shown him the dress, she's only shown me, so then it'll be obvious that I've told him but not said anything to her face... so will I look petty? I was just so shocked when she showed me that I didn't say anything.

Dropdeadfred Wed 13-Aug-08 12:41:16

I got married on saturday. My mother wore a cream suit and hat and my MIL wore a long floaty cream top with choc pattern) and matching skirt.
I'm sure noone thought they were the bride wink

let her wear what she wants ...she will look silly not you..you will be havingtoo good a time to worry, believe me!!

babyinbelly Wed 13-Aug-08 12:41:39

I dont think it is unreasonable. I would be furious if someone did that to me. Can you tactfully suggest that it is a lovely dress but would look so much better in a different colour. I had loads of prob's with mil with ds1. I left hime there o/n whilst still breast feeding with just enough expressed milk. Before I had left the house she had given him some from the bottle. I was furious as I could have bf before leaving and in the end had to collect him early as they ran out of milk! Despite having had 3 kids she said. 'cant we give him cows milk' he was only 3 weeks old!

ImnotOK Wed 13-Aug-08 12:41:51

Tis true everyone will call her for wearing white and she will look silly ,happened at my sisters wedding when an aunt turned up looking like MIss Havisham.

lilymolly Wed 13-Aug-08 12:42:10

I have worn white to a wedding before.
whats the problem?

Iamnotbridezilla Wed 13-Aug-08 12:42:43

Sorry, cross posted, I'm just worried that when we look back on pictures it'll be like 'who's the bride'? I know that's silly but I just wanted to look special.

Also, maid of honour is her daughter lol, so not much chance of chucking red wine on her unfortunately... maybe DS could toddle around with blackcurrant and trip over my toe?lol

edam Wed 13-Aug-08 12:44:15

She is a piece of work, isn't she? But it'll be her looking daft, wearing a white floaty dress to her own son's wedding and very probably behaving like a toddler. Like the idea of recruiting a red wine thrower - just a shame it didn't come from RubyRioja... grin

LynetteScavo Wed 13-Aug-08 12:45:18

She's just making a fool of herself. Everyone will see she's a loon.

RubyRioja Wed 13-Aug-08 12:45:42

I might be tempted to say, go ahead and wear a white dress if you must MIL, but I'll ask to photographer not to include you in any as you may spoil themwink

RubyRioja Wed 13-Aug-08 12:47:11

I'd throw wine, but I am not invited grin

Tinkerisdead Wed 13-Aug-08 12:48:53

This happened to me with my SIL, she proudly showed me her outfit of a white dress, bridal shoes from BHS and a white fascinator for her head. I too was horrified. only one person should be wearing white at a wedding. the bride.

Its not about anyone mistaking someone for the bride, its about recognising that this is a day where someone dreams about their big day in their white dress...

My SIl is exactly like your mother in law, my DH knew i was upset and so he said to his mum that he knew SIL was planning on wearing white, and whilst i would never say anything, he had visions of just his wife in a white dress. His mum hastily gossiped it back and SIL changed her outfit. Incidentally she changed hers to the exact coulour of my bridesmaids and dressed her daughter the same (wasnt a bridesmaid was babe in arms) now that was deliberate, she took her husbands waistcoat(usher) to ensure a perfect colour match with my bridal party.

as other people have commented, she made herself look a complete idiot and spiteful cow and so i never needed a row with her, everyone remarked on how ridiculous she was.

CountessDracula Wed 13-Aug-08 12:49:04

Maybe you should wear another colour (if you haven't already chosen)

As a surprise

That would be one in the eye for her

Upwind Wed 13-Aug-08 12:49:17

She is a silly woman and she will be part of your family soon. You could tell her/ask DH or SIL to let her know white is not appropriate for anyone else's wedding.

Chances are she will wear it anyway to spite you. Are you having official photographs? Either way you can have them photoshoped so that her dress appears a pale grey or blue or beige and nobody will be the wiser. That way, you stand out in the photos and you have the last laugh.

Dropdeadfred Wed 13-Aug-08 12:50:51

noone will wonder who is the bride....honestly!

ImnotOK Wed 13-Aug-08 12:52:32

Oh yes get the photographer to change the colour imagine her face it will be so funny grin (he could photoshop her a tache aswell)

RubyRioja Wed 13-Aug-08 12:53:17

Agree not that anyone will mistake her for bride - it is flouting a tradition that many brides hold dear.

I have worn a cream trouser suit to a wedding, but asked bride in advance as a courtesy. As she was in full cinderella regalia she was fine about it. Had she been going for an informal look, it might not have been acceptable to her and unkind on my part.

Iamnotbridezilla Wed 13-Aug-08 12:54:00

Upwind- Fantastic, can that really be done? I'm going to do it! Ha ha. Thanks soooooooooo much for telling me that. See how she likes that.

My dress is ordered in white though I did think about changing the colour! But I love it in white, it's lovely. Much nicer than her dress obviously!

I would have been a little upset if she ordered a dress the colour of my bridesmaid too. I swore SIL to seccrecy and then this happened lol.

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