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To be scared about moving jobs?

(19 Posts)
SorryImNotCreative Tue 02-Jun-20 12:29:40

I’ve been in my job for 6 years, it’s the only long term job I’ve had since leaving uni. It’s great on paper - low stress, decent money for what I do, and VERY good benefits/holidays/pension. But I feel really unfulfilled. The work is SO monotonous and boring, I feel like I’m slowly fading away.

I recently applied for a different job in a very different industry that uses some transferable skills. They have now offered me the job.

It would involve a £3k pay cut, more pressure, longer commute and longer hours, plus the benefits aren’t as good (but then again, the benefits I get now are unusual and I probably wouldn’t get them anywhere!) But it’s something I really want to try and think I would be good at. Earning potential in the long run would be better.

I do get a good feeling about the new job, but I’m terrified of the unknown and the potential effect on my work/life balance. I’ve always struggled with change which I know is pathetic, but the idea of leaving the easy job I’ve ‘known’ for so long fills me with dread!

Anyone got any tips for leaving a long term job? How did you know it was the right move?

OP’s posts: |
Wagamamas Tue 02-Jun-20 22:08:23

I think you'd be mad to leave. Find your fulfillment in hobbies or volunteering or maybe shake up your love or social life.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep Wed 03-Jun-20 08:09:09

I'm in a very similar position and am seeking a new role as I'm stuck in a rut in my current role and dont feel fulfilled
I'd say go for it... lifes too short
I dithered too long in my current role and am regretting the lack of progression now.

ukgift2016 Wed 03-Jun-20 08:10:46

I think you are crazy to leave a job like that. Take it from someone in a stressful but fulfilling job (burnout is quick)

altiara Wed 03-Jun-20 08:13:11

Is there anything at your current company that you can go for?

SorryImNotCreative Wed 03-Jun-20 09:07:14

Thanks for the replies. To be honest, my current job is so easy, unstimulating and unfulfilling that I’ve wanted to leave for a while. I think that because I’ve basically spent the last 5 years essentially ‘doing nothing’, my confidence is very low.

I just feel like I’m wasting my life really, but I also understand that other people would kill for a low stress job! I’m also worried about staying in a comfortable job for so long at such a young age.

OP’s posts: |
bingoitsadingo Wed 03-Jun-20 09:20:20

OMG I would definitely leave! Life is too short to waste in a boring job that sucks your soul out. I left a boring, low-stress job for one that had better earning potential. It's way more work, longer hours and more stressful but I feel like I'm doing something that matters and my colleagues are all amazing. I feel like there's purpose to my work and I am achieving something.
Yes a low-stress job can be great, particularly if you have kids etc. I don't, and I feel much more fulfilled with a bit of job-related stress in my life than I did when I was wandering along feeling like nothing I did mattered that much to anyone!

If a new job doesn't scare you, it's not a big enough step up!
The only thing I would say, is try to negotiate the new salary up so it at least matches your current one (unless it's a fixed payscale).

CoffeeAndDryShampoo Wed 03-Jun-20 09:21:30

I started my first job at 18 and stayed there for 11 years. The last couple of years there I was really unhappy but never had the courage to leave (I also hate change/the unknown) but after my dad passed away it gave me a kick up the bum to quit because life's too short to be miserable. Unlike you, I didn't have another job lined up! So I had to wing it doing locum/hospitality work for a few months until I found something permanent. Now I talk to friends that still work there and I'm so thankful I finally plucked up the courage to leave!

altiara Wed 03-Jun-20 09:25:46

I don’t think I could do pay cut and increase in travel/stress etc. Normally I would want more money.

ToyKitchenSink Wed 03-Jun-20 09:45:29

How old are you? And how might the new job help equip you for a career/better earning potential? Depending on your answers, the new role could be an investment for your future. Or not!

SorryImNotCreative Wed 03-Jun-20 10:02:13

Thank you for all the comments, it’s definitely food for thought! I’m 28. I’ve coasted since leaving uni and I haven’t achieved ANYTHING career-wise so far. I’m a relatively low learner, not minimum wage but below national average. If I’m honest, I feel very lazy but I don’t WANT to be. I’m just not motivated.

However, I have had a great work life balance, I’ve been able to leave work at work and I have flexible working hours. I just get nothing out of my job at all, it feels totally pointless.

I am SO torn between staying in a boring job that allows me to have a completely stress-free life, or challenging myself with something new but accepting that it will come with more pressure. The potential new employer has promised that progression is a huge possibility if I’m successful in the role as I will be “first through the door” so to speak. I just have NO confidence in my ability to do it, because my brain feels like it has turned to mush over the last few years.

OP’s posts: |
ThisShitCrazy Wed 03-Jun-20 10:04:31

I spent 8 years in a job like yours and took the leap. All I can say is your skills get lost when you don't use them. I had an awful lot to learn when I moved, and I'm still learning now. Easy jobs aren't everything, challenge your mind

Flynn999 Wed 03-Jun-20 10:08:43

Normally I would say leave if your bored, however your looking at more hours, less pay and a longer commute and less benefits. Personally I would stay or look elsewhere. The grass isn’t always greener.

Maybe look to your downtime to find something to keep your mind busy. I left a job I found boring at the time for something with less pay but more ‘work’ if that makes sense and I regretted it straight away, the new job was awful and I left quite quickly. I was told their was the option for progression, but it just didn’t happen, the staff were awful and their was nothing to progress to, kept asking for more roles etc, but nothing forthcoming, no training etc.

Would you be able to speak to your manager regarding additional responsibilities, they may not realise your feeling stagnant in your current role.

user135844794 Wed 03-Jun-20 10:17:50

You need to stop all the negative self talk. That's what's running your confidence down, not the stress-free nature of your job. You really don't speak very kindly to or about yourself at all. It's uncomfortable to read.

It's not pathetic to struggle with change, it's human nature (or have you missed the entire nation wailing "but I want my old normal back!" ?)

Do you really think everyone goes out to work and spends all day every day feeling it is meaningful and fulfilling? Think about all the workers you encounter each day, week, month. By its nature, if every moment is "meaningful" then actually you end up where none of those moments feel meaningful to you anymore because they've lost significance.

Right now, you have a job that pays well, has the kind of hours that enable you to build the life you want in your personal time, and is not causing the kind of stress that means you're too burnt out to use your personal time.

Have you capitalised on that? Or is the real reason you feel unfulfilled because you haven't taken the incredible opportunity to build a great life outside of work so you have nothing else going on to give you meaning or fulfilment?

Life is too short, blah blah blah. I think life is too short to make work the most important thing in your life and to squander everything else.

At the end of your life will you regret not taking on unnecessary challenges you felt pressured (by imagined social forces??) to take on even though it wasn't right for you, or that you didn't bother to build a life beyond your job?

Because let's face it, any employer will drop you like you're nothing when you are no longer useful to them. Even if you feel like your contribution is meaningful, that is not reciprocated - you are a resource to your employer to be picked up and discarded as it suits them.

If you had a life limiting diagnosis with say five to ten years to live - what decisions would you make about which parts of your life deserved attention and risks and stress?

blueroses1 Wed 03-Jun-20 10:18:55

Leaving a job is always scary but I've never had any doubt about leaving my jobs - I knew it was the best thing for my career and personal progression. If I wasn't sure then I would have more fear.

However in your case I probably wouldn't move jobs for less pay, more stress, less benefits etc. Hold out for something better.

QueenOfWinterfell Wed 03-Jun-20 10:43:53

You’re too young to settle in a boring going nowhere job and you’d regret it later. You’ve got a long working life ahead of you. Don’t waste it on a mundane existence

4amWitchingHour Wed 03-Jun-20 10:55:44

Go for it - I did the same when I was 26, took a pay cut to move to somewhere I really wanted to be, and knew I wanted to progress in.

Security can be great, but do you really want to feel this unfulfilled for the next few years? It doesn't sound like there's much in the way of opportunities in your current role, and sometimes you just need to make the leap. If you're in a position of limited financial and family commitments then go and do not look back. If it turns out to be not right for you, you can move on again.

Changing jobs is scary, but once you've done it a couple of times it can become an exciting challenge rather than a scary change. Starting your first job is the biggest leap, and you've already nailed that - you'll have loads to bring to this new role. See if you can negotiate the salary though smile I couldn't as I was moving to public sector, but for me it was worth every penny.

SorryImNotCreative Wed 03-Jun-20 10:59:21

Thanks all. The fact is that I won’t really be able to move to a better paid role. I’m paid relatively well for what I do, and to move into a slightly different career I will be looking at ‘starting from the bottom’ again. So I know that to move on will require a slight pay decrease. I’ve also been lead to believe that as a general rule, employers don’t look fondly on people who have spent years in the same role.

I do appreciate having a good work/life balance but I also feel like I’d like something more from work. I know I’ll probably never love my job, but I’d like to feel more stimulated. I feel like my current role is just pointless, and the company wouldn’t notice if my team disappeared!

I actually have a very fulfilling life outside of work, but work takes up such a huge chunk of life that I want to enjoy it a bit more. I love exercising and hiking, me and my wonderful DH are lucky to travel and go on holidays regularly, and I volunteer for a charity close to me. Although I’m more of an introvert at heart and I really value my downtime.

OP’s posts: |
Greydove28 Wed 03-Jun-20 21:41:34

You definitely need to move. I had the exact problem a few years back. The boring job completely destroyed my confidence in the end and i lost loads of skills (in it 4 years) . I spent a year of my new job on a massive learning curve. Im on loads more money now and have far better prospects and way better skills and qualifications . I regret staying in that boring job as long as I did.

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