to want to sleep with my friends husband

[maximopark]

omg, married 10 years, 3 kids, but am falling in love with another man. i see him at school of all places, his son and mine are in the same class. i am friends with his wife but i think she suspects i fancy her husband. does this mean;

1. im a selfish tart
   
2. my marriage is not as happy as i thought it was
   
3. im going through some sort of midlife crisis.
   please help, i cant stop thinking about him

[Sheherazadethegoat]

1,2 and 3 actually only 1 if you act on it.

[totaleclipse]

Dont know why you are feeling that way, but leave well alone, but am sure you know that.

[harleyd]

its fine to want to
it would be unreasonable to do so though

[toomanydaves]

Do you need us to tell you?

Nos 2 and 3 worth considering and looking at though.

[brimfull]

all 3

you need a nice night out with your dh

[maximopark]

i know its lust, but its never happened to me before. im actally scared of the effect hes having on me.

[bubblagirl]

omg what would you say if someone wanted your husband and she was your friend i tink you need to have time with your husband and get some excitement back it just means your spending your time fantasizing as it makes you feel good but get things back on track you wont need them thoughts anymore

[Bluestocking]

For goodness' sake, it's a CRUSH, woman! Haven't you ever had one before? Enjoy it and wait for it to pass.

[maximopark]

my husband is great, which is why i feel like i need advice. just wondered if this has happened to any of you. thought this "feeling" was well behind me.

[BBBee]

is normal.

don't woory and FFS don;t do anything.

[maximopark]

bluestocking; i hope your right, i feel like a bloody teenager. but omg i look at him and....WOW IM ADDICTED.

[Hulababy]

Do not act upon it.

Find time to spend with your own DH, together.

[Cappuccino]

yes is crush

I fancied a bloke I worked with a while back

made me quite insane for couple of weeks

then I woke up one morning and thought christ, he's disgusting, what on earth was going on there?

[harleyd]

does he know?

[Bluestocking]

I'm sure I'm right. I haven't had a crush for a while but I had a shocking one a few years ago on a colleague - the funny thing was that I knew he was gross even while I was lusting furiously after him. Do not under any circumstances do anything embarrassing!

[NotQuiteCockney]

Hmmm, it can be interesting to see what it is about this other bloke that appeals so much? What does he have that your DH doesn't?

But yeah, nothing wrong with feeling this way, it's only wrong if you do anything about it!

[ScottishMummy]

go for it - if you want to be an adulteress, split up 2 families, demonstrate that lust/boredom/wandering eye is worth indulging.A

alternatively have a word with yourself and dont be so stupid

finally change the sceanario gender about, make yourself the wronged party see how it feels

sort out points 2 and 3 independently and keep your knickers on whilst you do so

[BarbieGirl]

I think it is natural to fancy other people but to act on anything is a bit different especially if there are kids involved.

[expatinscotland]

You don't 'fall in love' with people. You choose to indulge in and act on feelings others elicit in you and you in them.

Fantasy is one thing.

Completely normal.

But when it crosses the boundaries of your imagination, enough that his wife appears to have noticed, then it's time to examine your feelings in greater perspective, NOT act on them.

[Isababel]

I'm with Bluestocking, wait for the crush to pass (but hide it well in the mean time!)

[Isababel]

Grumpyfrumpy... I was just waiting for MAdamez to come and suggest that

[Reallytired]

This is very hard and in someways you can't help how you are feeling. However it would be wrong to take anything further.

I think you have to make a diliberate decision to avoid him. When you pick up your son, make sure that you stand as far away from him as possible and try to avoid all conversation with him.