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AIBU?

To want to write an honest review of this air BnB guest?

119 replies

drainednow · 27/01/2020 15:56

Time has now passed so I don't think I can but don't know what else to do

I Wanted to specify only women to stay in my property with me and was advised by Air BnB that would be discrimination against men

Ended up taking 2 bookings from men - one who booked under his wife's account and then announced it would be him - was fine but uncomfortable stay

Second was young bloke who when I exited my bathroom in morning had his bedroom door wide open (across from bathroom so direct line of sight - flat is 54 sq foot so tiny) and was naked on the bed wanking

His reaction to me closing the door abruptly told me he had intended to be seen (weird as fuck I'm 44 not hot and not interested - he was in his 20s)

Air BnB said defamation if I put it on his review (14 days passed now)

How can I protect myself without having to stop renting out my second bedroom to make ends meet but not accept men to stay as Air BnB won't permit discrimination?

OP posts:
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SlothHouse · 27/01/2020 15:59

WTF?

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SlothHouse · 27/01/2020 15:59

Sorry OP. Could you get the police involved for the second guest?

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SunsetYorks · 27/01/2020 16:01

Join the Facebook group Airbnb hosts UK. They are brilliant at helping other hosts & have so much knowledge I’m sure you will get a more knowledgeable answer there.

Do you have instant book on?

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PineappleDanish · 27/01/2020 16:01

When someone makes a booking, do you get to approve the booking or is it done already? We booked with AirBnb in Paris last summer and it was "holding" until the host had agreed to take us.

What's stopping you simply saying that you can't take someone if they make a booking under a male name?

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MaxNormal · 27/01/2020 16:01

Just only accept bookings from women even if you don't state it in your advert.

If a man does show up, don't let him in as it's not the name on the booking.

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SunsetYorks · 27/01/2020 16:02

Also you could have declined the first male as third party bookings are against Airbnb rules even if a wife is booking for a husband. You should have called the police on guest 2.

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Whynosnowyet · 27/01/2020 16:03

Me and dh stayed at an amazing B&B a few years ago in Wales.
Got an email a while back saying she was closing after being gang raped one night by guests.
Take whatever precautions you need to be a safe host op.

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PineappleDanish · 27/01/2020 16:03

Also I think it's fairly outrageous that a woman living on her own isn't allowed to discriminate about who she has in her home.

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lesleyw1953 · 27/01/2020 16:04

In short - you can't. If AirBnB won't help you are a bit stuck. On the bright side I think you have just been unlucky. However, if you can't say anything negative on a review for fear of defamation there is not much point in having them. Have you asked AirBnB for advice?

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TheQueef · 27/01/2020 16:06

I agree, police report at least.
Fucking horror.
Probably does this regularly Drained Flowers

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theswordthatdangles · 27/01/2020 16:07

If they are exposing themselves deliberately I would report it to air b&b that he knowingly engaged in sexual acts in public view and see what they have to say. They surely cannot expect people to put up with that behaviour, can they?

I am sure you could word it such that this person did not respect expected etiquette around privacy/personal matters while staying in your home. It sounds like he gets a kick out of being 'discovered'. Potentially he has exposed himself although technically not in a public place so maybe see if anyone has advice with regards to unwanted sexual behaviour.

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SleepingKitty · 27/01/2020 16:09

Report to the police!!!

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NRPDad · 27/01/2020 16:12

Turn away unwanted males at the door? Only accept requests from female users? Or do they monitor how many requests to stay are accepted and you have to target a certain amount?

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IntermittentParps · 27/01/2020 16:13

Report him to the police but, for future bookings, only accept those that are (as far as you can tell from names/photos) women. Don't offer Instant Book (if you do at the moment), obviously. If a man tries to book, just decline.

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SunsetYorks · 27/01/2020 16:16

They monitor how many bookings you decline so the OP would end up being delisted.

Did guest 2 have previous reviews?

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aroundtheworldyet · 27/01/2020 16:16

Do you desperately need the money?
Because I would sack this whole thing on the head if I was you.

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TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 27/01/2020 16:17

This Air BnB link seems to suggest you CAN rent only to women: here

'Can I choose to only host people of my own gender?
It depends. According to our Nondiscrimination Policy, you may make a listing available to only guests of your gender when you share living spaces with them (for example, bathroom, kitchen, or common areas).

If you don’t share living spaces with guests, you may not:

Decline to rent to a guest based on gender
Impose any different terms or conditions based on gender
Post any listing or make any statement that discourages or indicates a preference for or against any guest on account of gender'

Even if you have a separate bathroom, I would think a corridor counts as a common area - I think they are trying to distinguish between places you live, and separate flats.

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IntermittentParps · 27/01/2020 16:18

I think they are trying to distinguish between places you live, and separate flats.

Yes, that's how I'd read that
too.

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viccat · 27/01/2020 16:20

That sounds awful, and even worse if AirBnB won't do anything and won't even allow you to mention it on the review.

I suppose you've ruled out the option of finding a long term lodger instead? Seems like that would be safer than having different guests all the time.

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RubysRoo · 27/01/2020 16:20

@drainednow - advertise for a female lodger and have that instead of random people. That way you can check references and have guaranteed income on 1st of every month. Two friends recently did this and advertised at local Churches and a Synagogue. Both have had lovely lodgers move in and love the extra £360 and £420 respectively.

Stay safe.

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RubysRoo · 27/01/2020 16:22

Also @drainednow look at international students if you live in an area that has hosting options. Some really lovely female students here studying at Uni and language schools. Try your local language schools and Uni accomodations office and ask.

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PineappleDanish · 27/01/2020 16:22

Fucking gender.

The OP should be basing her decision on biological sex, not this nebulous idea of "gender identity".

Too many people think gender and sex are interchangeable.

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3rdNamechange · 27/01/2020 16:24

Let the second guest try and sue you for defamation, if he dares, after you've reported him to the police.

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CakeandCustard28 · 27/01/2020 16:25

Ughhhh, that must of been horrible OP. Fuck air BnB and leave the review.
Can you get a female lodger instead?

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womaninblue · 27/01/2020 16:26

I'm a woman and last year I tried to book an Airbnb room in a flat hosted by a single woman. She really grilled me on the phone before accepting my booking and when we met she said she's had men book under a woman's account and freak her out.

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