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Was she ungrateful or was I inconsiderate?

(100 Posts)
montmatre Mon 30-Dec-19 08:06:15

My sister and I share an Amazon Prime account. Yesterday was her birthday so I decided to take inspiration from her Amazon browsing history. I ended up spending £250+ on her gifts. She guessed what I had done and told me it was a bit "uninspired" but she was happy with what she had been given. Tbh I did take the time to consider which items she would like best and they were wrapped beautifully. I also decorated her living room and arranged a decent meal. AIBU?

OP’s posts: |
Winter2020 Mon 30-Dec-19 08:07:23

Crazy. Spend £25 tops next year.

insanepizza Mon 30-Dec-19 08:09:02

Uninspired? That sounds lovely. Your sister is spoilt and ungrateful.

Ragwort Mon 30-Dec-19 08:09:27

Wow, that is unbelievably rude! What sort of gifts does she give you for your birthday?

My siblings and I exchange a jokey card and that’s it.

I would suggest you agree ‘no presents’ in future, so much simpler.

covetingthepreciousthings Mon 30-Dec-19 08:10:46

Was it a big birthday? That seems a lot of money. Do you normally each spend that amount?

The uninspired comment was rude, but could she have been embarrassed that you'd spent so much?

montmatre Mon 30-Dec-19 08:11:05

It was a big birthday and my family always goes OTT.

OP’s posts: |
montmatre Mon 30-Dec-19 08:13:56

She's having a birthday party tonight for friends and less close family members and I really cannot be bothered to go after her ungratefulness.

Will drink her champagne with a side of Chinese.

OP’s posts: |
AnuvvaMuvva Mon 30-Dec-19 08:19:10

How can you see someone else's Amazon browsing history?

ShirleyPhallus Mon 30-Dec-19 08:19:57

It depends on what was on her browsing history tbh. If you looked at my browsing history it would be: kitchen bin, bird seeds, cath kidson stuff, kids bath toys.

The first two were for me, the latter two were gifts. I personally hate cath kidson stuff. So if I received all that for a present I’d think it was a bit lazy tbh. I wouldn’t be rude or ungrateful, just a bit disappointed you’d spent so much money on stuff I have no interest in.

On the other hand, if I had a wish list I’d think it was very thoughtful.

Which was it?

QuillBill Mon 30-Dec-19 08:20:16

They share an account. It's the first line on the OP.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny Mon 30-Dec-19 08:26:42

Personally my first thought was shock as my Amazon browsing history usually contains random shit MNers have linked to for a laugh (Pat Butcher clock anyone?)

montmatre Mon 30-Dec-19 08:28:45

My sister and I very close (born 11 months apart). I can easily discern random items she's browsed from things she actually likes/wants.

OP’s posts: |
OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny Mon 30-Dec-19 08:30:58

Here you go, look this up on Amazon if you want an interesting browsing history.

They also do Phil Mitchell ones.

<Misses point of thread>

CatteStreet Mon 30-Dec-19 08:37:51

IIWY she would be getting precisely nothing next year and when she asked why, would be told that I was feeling 'uninspired'. I'd also be informing her I feel her birthday party is 'uninspired' and so I won't be coming.

(That is assuming you didn't go down the bird-seed-and-kitchen-bins route as per a PP; which I am assuming you didn't. Tbh there's not that much in my Amazon that I would like as a gift, but I'm sure you can tell 'would like' from 'mundane necessity purchase').

HollysBush Mon 30-Dec-19 08:41:34

Wow! Wish I had a sister like you. What a lovely thing to do.

AnuvvaMuvva Mon 30-Dec-19 08:42:13

They share an account. It's the first line on the OP.


Ponoka7 Mon 30-Dec-19 08:45:32

Did she mean that she wanted something more personal, as a big birthday present?

Do you struggle with present buying for her, or do you know her tastes?

I can see both sides. It's best to just let it go. Does she actually like champagne? It would be petty to not give it if she does.

CatteStreet Mon 30-Dec-19 08:50:21

Ponoka, it doesn't matter if she 'wanted something more personal', the recipient doesn't get to dictate gifts and her response was astoundingly rude. A proper put-down, before she then condescended to approve of the gifts.

It sounds a bit as if this family has a culture of expecting lavish gifts to ridiculous standards, and this has led this woman to believe it's acceptable to behave like this.

OP is very close to her sister, but is hurt over this comment. I don't think there's a 'both sides' to this. I'd want to show her that such rudeness has consequences.

JosephineDeBeauharnais Mon 30-Dec-19 09:00:09

Crikey, I don't know either of you but I'm squirming with embarrassment at her saying that £250 of gifts is "uninspiring". Actually I'm both squirming and sort of admiringly horrified at the same time. How breathtakingly daring to be so carelessly rude - amazing shock. I'm also amazed at your question OP, OF COURSE she's ungrateful! She's gone so far beyond ungrateful she's going to need a taxi back! Horrible. Properly, staggeringly, hilariously horrible.

Troels Mon 30-Dec-19 09:00:38

Rude. I'd get my own amazon account after that. Stop sharing.

xoxoluna Mon 30-Dec-19 09:11:27

Rude. She could simply have said thank you, instead of "uninspired" when she was already happy with the gifts!!

kanatano Mon 30-Dec-19 09:12:13

The intention is good but it's better to have separate account for online shopping.

Babybel90 Mon 30-Dec-19 09:13:54

Is she perhaps a little overwhelmed? If some bought me £250 worth of stuff I didn’t really want I’d be thinking I had to spend the same amount on them for their birthday and then I’d be thinking what a waste of £250.

ConstanceL Mon 30-Dec-19 09:14:00

She does sound very ungrateful and rude. Had she been hinting about something else and was therefore disappointed? Could that explain (but not excuse) her brattish behaviour?

MrsEricBana Mon 30-Dec-19 09:16:54

Wow. I'd be telling her I am now inspired to return the gifts and get my £250 back.

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