Regretting child's name

[unicornsandtractors]

Long story short. Couldn't decide on baby no2's name.. literally had 1 option in the end and went with it. The day he was born my DH's ex found out from DSC and sent abusive messages to DH saying that was the name she wanted to call DSC but that she was flattered (!!!!)
DH (and his whole family) vehemently denied this and assured me it was nonsense.

We stuck with the name and ignored it, though I was never 100% keen. Though it does suit him.

But 10 months I just wish we'd called him my original choice that was dismissed early on in pregnancy. DH thinks I'm being ridiculous. I'm probably not going to change his name really thinking of the fuss it would cause.... ABIU thinking all of this?

[BigRedLondonBus]

Yabu

[MagicKingdomDizzy]

I think the main question is how your husband feels about changing the names. It's his child too.

Changing a child's name is much easier before 12 months, then it gets more difficult. If you're going to do it, do it now. Also, your child will begin to recognise their name, so you want to do it before this happens.

Search the forums on here, especially Baby Names. This is actually a common issue.

[bridgetreilly]

I wouldn't. If I changed it in those circumstances, I would always feel like I'd let his ex manipulate me into it. He's your child, you chose his name, her response is less than nothing.

[Pepperwand]

Absolutely agree with the above, if you change it now you've given the ex the power. Don't let her reaction manipulate you into changing the name...you both chose it for a reason.

[NKFell]

You said yourself he suits the name, don't let her words get to you.

If you are really certain then as PP poster said, discuss with husband and do it before 12 months.

[didofido]

Can you add a second name and call him that? Or just think of a cute nickname and call him that within the family

[Sophiesdog11]

Surely if the ex had wanted to call DSC that name, she would have done? Why didn't she use it at the time?

It sounds like she is just out to cause trouble - ignore her and stick with the name you chose.

[ElephantsEatEggs]

If you aren't happy with it then talk to Dh about changing it. Better to be done before they are 12 months old. It is not that unusual. Searches on here will show that. My own name was changed by deed poll due to my parents hardly ever calling me the name on my birth certificate. So it never felt like it was mine, plus I hated it.

Weirdly about names, a friend of ours called his child by his ex-girlfriend's surname. I don't think the wife would know this and there is no way to ask Did you know your baby has the same first name as your husband's ex girlfriend's surname? No, not his girlfriend before you, but the one before that? No? Oh

[lottiegarbanzo]

Why was the name you like dismissed? Does your DH dislike it, or just didn't love it?

Does the DC have a middle name? Could this one be slotted in as well? Then it would always be there as an option.

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks about what you feel - your feelings are your own and to you, they are real. If you do have an uncomfortable feling every time you hear or think about your DC's name - still, after 10 months - then you do. It might diminish over time, as the name becomes more and more associated with this child. or you might always retain a little sense of regret.

If you are going to make a change, do it soon.

[Echobelly]

Don't do anything on account of shitty people, rise above them

[Isatis]

I suspect if you changed the name the ex would see it as a victory.

[unicornsandtractors]

MagicKingdomDizzy - He doesn't want to change it. He just thinks i'm being silly. DS recognises his name already ... and my DD (age 3) would be so confused. I just can't get it out of my head

I'll have a look -thanks. I thought i couldn't be the only one with an issue with a name !

[HomeMadeMadness]

I think you need to concentrate on not letting the ex (who sounds like a nasty cow) get inside your head.

[unicornsandtractors]

Thanks all PP's. You are right about the ex causing trouble. To send the messages on THE DAY he was born too.. all of the emotions and hormones flying around after childbirth. Pretty shitty of her!
And I think you're all right about sticking to my guns. Thanks so much for the opinions. and the practical advice re 12 months.

I dont know how to reply to people directly so doing it all on here ...

Lottiegarbanzo - his middle name is DH/ his Dad's name (this idea we also stole from her....)

ElephantsEatEggs - now THAT is an awkward one! Not a conversation i'd like to have

Thanks all

[Didgets]

Keep the name.

The ex would be jumping for joy if you changed it as they will achieve exactly what she wanted in the first place.

[BankHolidayBingo]

I never understand other peoples experience of baby name changing. When we had ours the registrar told us it was 'extremely difficult' if not 'totally impossible' to change it after she'd registered it. It made me wobble slightly, knowing that this was forever. She made me feel a bit pressured.

[cardibach]

My ex actually used the name we would have used for a second DD for his first with his new partner. I didn’t say anything and didn’t see why he shouldn’t, so even if it’s true she’s being ridiculous.
Don’t let it worry you, OP.

[Rainbowknickers]

I did this-I always saw myself with girls so a boy was a shock
So like a silly cow I let his ‘father’ name him
At the time it was an ok name but over the years it’s turned a bit chavvy
I really hate it but have never said anything
He’s 21 now so a bit late to the party really