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AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

(560 Posts)
scarbados Wed 24-Apr-19 13:14:53

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

Jux Mon 29-Apr-19 20:48:37

I love black cats. I don't think their unpopularity is due to selfies and photographs as they have always been less popular than other colours. It's much more likely to be a superstition that they're unlucky, though some countries say they're lucky so hmm? I grew up in Surrey hearing that black cats were lucky, but spent my 20s on in London hearing they're unlucky. Who knows!

We always have one black one anyway. Our current black is one of the most beautiful dats I've ever known and her fur is so thick and soft and smells of flowers.

Glittertwins Mon 29-Apr-19 17:13:27

Sorry to hear you've been unwell - hope the cat pictures cheered you up! Maybe your friend will come solo next time and it will be a proper friend catch up rather than his CF- ness

CassandraCross Sun 28-Apr-19 14:30:57

Thread started 5 days ago, 23 Pages, 557 messages and still posters pop up to share their opinion which is woefully out of date.

If only you'd been courteous enough and taken the trouble to read the thread, or just the OP's updates, or failing that the last 2 or 3 pages @madcatladyforever you would have saved yourself the embarrassment of posting such an irrelevant comment and the well deserved reply from the OP to you.

RandomAmanda Sun 28-Apr-19 13:44:52

it's not convenient any more

It's sure not! They've come and gone by now grin 😂

AliceRR Sun 28-Apr-19 10:04:11

OP I thought @madcatladyforever wasn’t really meaning YABU in that way, more that you shouldn’t put up with it and should tell them to get lost (although doesn’t seem to have RTFT as we know they have left now) 🤔

scarbados Sun 28-Apr-19 09:18:07


Thank you so much for that. As you feel that unpaying guests are being reasonable in expecting me to buy (and pay for) food that we never eat so their taste in breakfast is met and that demandiing I keep my cat off my sofa is acceptable and not the behaviour of a CF, perhaps they could stay with you next time he wants a free-loading break somewhere.

madcatladyforever Sun 28-Apr-19 08:47:23

YABU tell theme to stay somewhere else as it's not convenient any more.

Sexnotgender Sun 28-Apr-19 08:44:46

Thank you! I’m a big fan of black cats, they’re like mini panthers which is very cool.

Our dog had been badly abused and no one would give him a chance because he was horribly shy and terrified of everything. We’ve had him about 9 months now and he’s the daftest most loving dog ever. So glad we took a chance on him.

SchadenfreudePersonified Sat 27-Apr-19 20:37:27


They are beautiful!

And I always think you get a shine on the coat of a black cat or dog that you get on no other colour. My black dog looks as though she's been French polished - sh'e s gorgeous (so are the others, but not so blindingly shiney grin)

nicenewdusters Sat 27-Apr-19 18:00:07

With reference to a previous poster's comment, I think we know whose anus is winking now grin . The gods of d & v have truly wreaked vengeance on the CF.

mummyhaschangedhername Sat 27-Apr-19 17:39:00

Hope you feel better soon OP.

Happynow001 Sat 27-Apr-19 15:18:52

So sorry you are not feeling well and I do hope you get better soon. Hopefully cuddles with your cat/DP will help your recovery. In the meantime:

* But they've picked up a parking ticket*

* And they did invite us out for a meal yesterday evening which we turned down because I was feeling crap*. So glad we didn't go because he's got d&v this morning.

Karma is not a cat called Reggie but is certainly a bitch! 😁

Daftapath Sat 27-Apr-19 14:45:57

@SchrodingersBrexit yes, you can

TapasForTwo Sat 27-Apr-19 14:45:52

Oh no. I hope you feel better soon scarbados

SchrodingersBrexit Sat 27-Apr-19 13:43:52

@Belenus Can you do that on the app? smile

Belenus Sat 27-Apr-19 13:38:51

On a separate note will other posters please stop talking about cats. When I see n update on here I want to know what is happening with regard to the CFs

Just highlight the OPs posts so you can go to them immediately. No need to police what other posters are up to then.

Drum2018 Sat 27-Apr-19 12:58:03

Hope you feel better soon - consolation is that you won't be hosting them again 😃

AliceRR Sat 27-Apr-19 12:33:16

Sorry to hear you’re not well but perhaps a good thing the visit was kept short. It does seem like they (or your friend) realised he had crossed a line!

So not your fault about the parking ticket. Kind of think he deserves it tbh which is bad to say

Hope you feel better soon and can relax now you’ve got your house back

Easterbunnyhashoppedoff Sat 27-Apr-19 12:24:41

Assuming you have survived the visit by a dcat's whisker op?!

SauvignonBlanche Sat 27-Apr-19 12:24:30

Sorry to hear you’re not well OP but can’t say the same about your CF guest.

cstaff Sat 27-Apr-19 12:14:48

Well that's a massive improvement on their last visit. At least they had the decency to invite you out to dinner. Maybe they have copped on that you are not playing the "proper hostess" and have realised their CFery from previous visits. They probably don't want to blow their chance of another free hotel in future but we know you won't fall for this again OP.

Also the parking ticket is their problem.

On a separate note will other posters please stop talking about cats. When I see n update on here I want to know what is happening with regard to the CFs .

scarbados Sat 27-Apr-19 11:46:20


They're on their way home. I seem to have picked up some kind of virus and feel like death warmed up and she's trying to avoid catching it - I don't blame her as she has enough health problems as it is. She has Crohns and a couple of lesser but still nasty things to contend with.

But they've picked up a parking ticket because visitors here have to have scratch-card permits that run from 10am for 24 hours. They forgot to put a new one in the car last night to cover until they went out. Not my responsibility to ask if they've remembered, is it?

And they did invite us out for a meal yesterday evening which we turned down because I was feeling crap. So glad we didn't go because he's got d&v this morning. So they're possibly not going to have the best of journeys today.

Reggie ahd his sulky head on before they went but he's now charging round in circles. I think he's doing a lap of honour!

TapasForTwo Sat 27-Apr-19 11:29:36

I can't believe the stupidity of some people. Clive is gorgeous plomino.
I would have a house full of cats, regardless of colour, if I could.

Motoko Sat 27-Apr-19 10:47:36

We've had a couple of black cats in the past, from Cat's Protection. They told us they have trouble rehoming them because people are superstitious and think they're unlucky. There's a saying that if a black cat crosses your path, it's either lucky, or unlucky, depending on whether it crosses in front or behind. It's pretty stupid in this day and age.

We now have 5 cats, 4 of them are long haired, so if you need any extra floof OP, just give me a shout! One of them is mostly white too, and her fur is so fine, it's the worst for getting on everything, but she's so cuddly and soft.

BettyDuMonde Sat 27-Apr-19 10:24:14

Clive was worth seeing twice.

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