My DD is 11. She doesn’t have a lot of sleepovers here at home as she has two younger siblings and we don’t have a lot of extra space but seeing as we seem to be entering the sleepover years 😳😭🤣 where her friends have one every weekend we have been trying to make a bit more effort.
She invited a friend over here this afternoon/tonight and she seems lovely, very easy to chat to and we really haven’t seen much of them other than to feed them and the occasional dance move they wanted to show us but they have been getting on great.
We had arranged a trip out for us all tomorrow and had asked DD if she’d like to invite her friend to come along too, friend had been over the moon and DH had explained the logistics of trip to her dad when he had picked her up this afternoon, her mum had also dropped a few things over that she might need (they live quite locally to us) later on.
DD and her DF have been discussing this trip all evening, outfits, picnic ideas, who’s sitting next to each other in the car etc etc, both seems generally quite excited about it my DD especially as this is quite a novelty for her.
DD came back downstairs (looking a little heartbroken) an hour ago to say there was a change of plan and her DF had just had a text from another friend and decided that she was going to go and meet her tomorrow instead! Her dad was going to come and pick her up early on before we left. Her mum also sent me a text confirming the change of plan.
My DH is absolutely fuming at the whole situation and was talking (half heartedly) of putting DD’s DF in a taxi and sending her home, mostly because his little girls looks like she has had the wind kicked out her sails and despite feeling let down has put on a brave face and carried on making her friend feel at home and make the most of her night.
I’m not particularly annoyed at her DF, think kids will be kids and there are always going to be better options that come along in life
However AIBU to think that if my child had committed to do something with a friend which had been organised and both parties were looking forward to it that there’d be absolutely no chance, as a parent, I’d allow them to change their plans at the last minute and let their friend down.
Maybe I’m sounding a little precious and I promise DD is no snowflake, I just think it’s rotten that she has been made to feel second best and just a back up until something better came along.
AIBU?
AIBU to think this is a little bit dickish?
Passmethewineandstraw · 18/04/2019 23:31
Ok, so (most) PPs on here might be right, but my thought was the same as @ Fiveredbricks
It might just be that the girl doesnt want to come with you afterall and her Mum gave her an 'out'?
See, you'll probably never know, and it might be something REALLY trivial. But what about if something about your plans made the kid anxious? Like, she gets car sick. Or you're planning a walk and she's never been on one? Or you're really sporty and she isn't? Or she hates crowds and you're going somewhere busy? Or a church based thing and she's never been inside one? Or a craft-type thing and she's rubbish at drawing?
I mean, it could be one of 10,0000 things. And maybe something completely trivial and in her head.
And yes, it's rude/flaky that she agreed to it and is now bailing. PPs aren't wrong to pick up on this.
But I can imagine my DD at that age being invited to something and saying yes (possibly even meaning it at the time) and then panicking about it. As her mum, if I knew she had said "yes" but was worried/upset I'd EITHER have pushed her to go (if I thought she was being ridiculous) OR I'd have given her the 'out' she needed "Sooooo sorry, forgot we had a pre-existing arrangement. Entirely my fault. Maybe another time?"
Having said that, I feel your pain. Your poor DD. 
for her.
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