NC for this...love DH and we’ve just had our first DC. DH obviously loves her too. But it seems he just doesn’t know how to act with babies and I find it difficult, now it even seems DD (4 mos) has a preference for me, which I suspect makes DH feel a bit rubbish.
Examples:
- DD wakes from a nap crying. DH says “shush shush shush” as if he’s annoyed with her, almost scolding if that makes sense. (I would walk over and gently say her name, etc)
- DD loves to smile and coo, but he thinks it’s funny to go in her face and just make a solid stone face or make a scary noise, she doesn’t generally react well, ether stares and seems confused or will fuss a bit if he says “boo”. (I will just smile and coo and laugh with her, if she cries or may be pulls my hair I will say oh you feel sad or ouch that hurts mummy, but try to make my communication more clear with her if that makes sense)
- If she cries he will just rock her and shush her even if she is getting louder and more upset (I will try something else to see if I can help the crying)
- if she’s having a poo he says it’s gross. I encourage her and smile so she doesn’t have negative associations with poos or her body
- she’s been up for a couple hours and is starting to show signs of being tired (small tired cry, rubbing eyes) and he’ll start bouncing around with her and getting her more alert (I will say alright, you’re tired and start speaking more softly, stop playing, etc)
- she will wake up for the day and he will pick her up and start singing loud songs in her face (Children’s songs like ity but spider) and she’s still bleary eyed from the night, seems overwhelmed by him/singing. Then she yawns and he says oh she’s tired, and starts rocking and shushing her trying to get her back to sleep - of course ten she cries and is difficult to settle so I have to get her sorted
This is our first DC so I’m not sure if I’m being precious. I’ve had a bit of experience with babies but DH hasn’t had any and obviously I’m not an expert but I don’t know if the way he interacts is normal for FTDs.