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To press charges against this parent?

(644 Posts)
Rosegarden10 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:39:11

I've name changed for this as obviously this is very outing.

On Friday, my child attended a school disco. Whilst they were at the school disco, another parent broke into the school and was banging on the hall doors to get in. When she couldnt access the hall she kicked the glass door and broke the window smashing the glass. The children and adults inside were terrified and they had to evacuate the children in an emergency lockdown procedure.

My child (and the majority of the other children) are now traumatised. My child doesnt want to go back to school tomorrow. The police arrived at the scene however it doesnt appear as though they arrested her as she the parent was on the parent WhatsApp group trying to justify her behaviour an hour after the incident.

Can I press charges against this woman for the trauma she has caused my child and the other children? I am so angry!!

onalongsabbatical Sun 10-Mar-19 08:57:44

Are you in the US, OP? Because it really does make a difference to your assumptions.

FudgeBrownie2019 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:57:41

So you think every parent of every child at that event should be able to press charges against this woman? How would that work? What crime did she commit against the children?

I'm not undermining the fact that she scared them and left them in a position where their parents will have to deal with the emotional fall out. But that's your role a a parent, to deal with traumatic events and help your child find a way through them. It's awful, absolutely, but it's also your job now.

SileneOliveira Sun 10-Mar-19 08:56:26

I'm surprised the doors were locked because it just seems odd that people weren't free to come and go as they wanted.

Since Dunblane it has been standard practice to have school doors locked. All schools I've been at you have to be buzzed in. For obvious reasons.

It does sound like a scary experience and the mother sounds a bit unhinged. But as others have said you can't "press charges" that has to be a decision for the Police and the CPS or Procurator Fiscal.

FamilyOfAliens Sun 10-Mar-19 08:55:20

If I were you I’d be saying along the lines of “yes it was scary but didn’t your teachers do a great job keeping you safe?”

This.

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:55:00

If you really HAVE to do something, you could in theory, sue her. You need to find a solicitor willing to take it on.

But it will take a long time and in a few weeks when everyone else has moved on, you will be known as the parents that is suing x over that incident months ago and it will back fire on you and possibly your child.

SummerHouse Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:51

They don't arrest these days unless they have to. They are more likely to ask her to attend voluntarily for interview. From there it will be a cps / police decision to charge or they might go for community resolution if she admits, is sorry and agrees some act to make amends.

CountessVonBoobs Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:43

You thought this angry parent had a gun? Come on.

You're being ridiculous. And as PPs have said, you can't "press charges" because a) that isn't a thing b) no crime has been committed against you.

FullOfJellyBeans Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:41

I imagine it was stressful at the time but I agree you need to help your DC realise that it's over, they're safe and it won't happen again. Pressing charges is impossible and won't help your child. It will just drag the whole thing out. This woman obviously has issues, I wouldn't want her around my kids but no you can't press charges.

animaniac Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:35

Struggling to understand why on earth the doors were locked in the first place - apart from anything else, it is a major fire hazard to have the main exit point locked. The school should know this.

IceRebel Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:23

who thought thay they were being subject to a terrorist attack

I think your language about this incident is making it more of a traumatic event than it really was.

A woman banged on a glass door and it smashed. There's no need to throw around words like "armed" and "terrorist"

SillyMoomin Sun 10-Mar-19 08:54:10

Oh god you’re THAT parent

Calm down

Windowsareforcheaters Sun 10-Mar-19 08:53:47

A parent screaming and causing criminal damage would be very alarming to staff.

The staff had to assume she was potentially armed (knife or a gun) staff had to act to protect the children from a possible attack. The staff would take this very, very seriously and the children would have been scared.

Remember Lisa Potts who died protecting children from an attacker with an axe? Staff would absolutely have been alarmed this would have been transmitted to the children.

JacquesHammer Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:41

Try explain that to a hall full of children who thought thay they were being subject to a terrorist attack and who all came out crying when their parents arrived

But isn’t it your job to reassure them?

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:19

They all thought it was a terrorist attack?

Really? When they could see it was a parent?

Barrenfieldoffucks Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:18

Could they not see her through the glass?

LovingLola Sun 10-Mar-19 08:52:00

Were the doors to the hall locked?? If that is correct surely that is a breach of fire safety regulations??? I would raise that with the school.

I’m sure the school will do its best to reassure the children about the crazy lady

Barrenfieldoffucks Sun 10-Mar-19 08:51:41

And what was she likely to be armed with? Does she have mental health issues? I would expect the school to deal with this firmly, but there isn't anything for you to do.

Rosegarden10 Sun 10-Mar-19 08:51:22

Wow. Fuelling drama? Try explain that to a hall full of children who thought thay they were being subject to a terrorist attack and who all came out crying when their parents arrived. Now I know why I don't post on mumsnet often!

Frecklesonmyarm Sun 10-Mar-19 08:51:06

If she was in reception shouting and swearing why didn't someone go deal with her?

A school, that correctly has locked doors, had glass that a person can kick in?

What's the point in that? If someone had a weapon, they would get in easily. Very odd that glass isn't reinforced.

Something is very odd in all this.

Barrenfieldoffucks Sun 10-Mar-19 08:50:45

I'm surprised the doors were locked because it just seems odd that people weren't free to come and go as they wanted. What if you'd wanted to leave early? I only have experience of a small village school though to be fair.

However this doesn't have to be the big deal you're making it out to be. How old is your child?

JacquesHammer Sun 10-Mar-19 08:50:18

* I am not sure why some of you think that's not a big deal?*

What are you thinking you can press charges for?

If I were you I’d be saying along the lines of “yes it was scary but didn’t your teachers do a great job keeping you safe?”

You can use this to build resilience.

IceRebel Sun 10-Mar-19 08:50:15

as were the staff who didn't know whether the parent was armed

That's a rather large leap there, she was banging on the glass, not sure why they would jump to is she armed. I can't imagine why she would be so angry at the headteacher, but I would love to hear her side of the story.

MotsDHeureGoussesRames Sun 10-Mar-19 08:50:04

Agree with Barrenfield. Yes, it was awful behaviour and scary for the children but not traumatising, surely? Let your child know they are safe and send them to school! Do not let them stay off. They need to know it is safe - keeping them off only reinforces that they aren't. YANBU to feel angry but don't let your feelings impact your child. I am surprised too that she wasn't arrested. I feel sorry for her child, who will bear the brunt.

dayswithaY Sun 10-Mar-19 08:49:31

Why would you want to? She's clearly got issues which the police would have taken into account. The school will deal with it as they see fit. Yes it was scary for the children but they'll move on.

Birdsgottafly Sun 10-Mar-19 08:49:10

" I just cannot believe they didn't arrest her!!"

The Police know who've they got in, what there night is going to pan out like. Fridays can be manic.

She could have mental health issues etc and it wouldn't be in anyone's interest to arrest her.

It isn't that simple as, commit a crime = arrest.

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