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AIBU?

WIBU to have my dog PTS? (Possibly upsetting)

108 replies

DistraughtDogLover · 09/03/2019 22:06

I have name changed for this but have been a member here for many years. I just need some perspective on this. This is very long and I will try and cut down whilst still giving all relevant info. I am absolutely devastated at the way my ex-friends and my neighbours have been behaving and I need to know if IABU as they all seem to think.

In Dec 17 we got a puppy. We loved her very much. Took her to socialisation, training classes, practised every day. She was always strong willed and boisterous but responded well to training and consistency and was just a normal puppy.

In March 18, my DH got very sick and nearly died. He spent 2 weeks in Intensive Care and I was told to expect the worst. During this time we used a dog walker every day and friends/neighbours took her out a lot for me as I was at the hospital or dealing with work/children (age 8 and 10 at the time). A couple of them expressed concern about the dog, saying she was wobbly on her legs. I took her straight to the vet who said she seemed fine and was probably over exercise.

May 18 - husband had been home a month, incredibly weak but alive and slowly gaining strength. Had the puppy spayed and asked them to do x-rays at the same time as I was also getting concerned. Turns out she had a very severe case of hip dysplasia in both hips and needed both replaced. We were referred to an orthopaedic surgeon who said he wanted to wait til she was more fully grown and to manage with daily physio and meds. We did this. We worked with two physios and practised exercises every day. She was only allowed 2x 20 min walks per day.

June 18 - she started refusing her training and becoming disobedient and very hard work. We took her to a behaviourist who worked with us but things didn’t improve. I was doing the bulk of this as DH still recuperating. She was snatching things from the children and grazed one of their friends on the cheek with her teeth snatching a ball. She began to target my oldest child and ripped his clothes, drew blood with her claws. I couldn’t ever allow them to be left alone and they were not allowed friends over as I couldn’t guarantee their safety without shutting the dog away.

July 18 - still doing daily physio and meds, still trying daily training but she was regressing and forgot what to do/refused to do anything. Got a second behaviourist in to help but they finally spoke sense and said she was bored and frustrated and in pain and needed surgery. Ortho surgeon and vet consulted. Now couldn’t leave dog alone with either child as she couldn’t be trusted. She was very rarely left alone and never for long but destroyed door frames, skirting boards, walls, furniture, sofas, chewed through the garden fence and escaped. She bit me on the arm twice. I was so worried about her around the children that I contacted Dogs Trust and several local charities and breeder to discuss rehoming her with someone without children but was advised nobody could/would help due to her health problems.

Aug 18 - all still being managed. MRI scan booked to start pre-op prep. One day I must have taken my eyes off her for a second and heard blood curdling screaming - she had pushed my oldest son to the floor and had bitten him on the stomach, ripped his clothes and drawn blood. As I tried to restrain her and pull her away, she jumped up and bit me hard on the side of my waist. I needed my husband to help me restrain her. We were all badly shaken and I said I couldn’t manage her around the children. I called the vet for advice and he said if nobody would rehome her then we either push ahead with surgery and hope it stopped the behaviour or have her PTS. I called several charities to help but nobody would have her due to health plus now aggression. We made the difficult decision to have her PTS. It was heartbreaking. I have never felt so guilty in my life. I couldn’t risk her hurting the children again. I cried every day for weeks feeling I could have done more or should have handled it differently.

In October 18, we had the feeling we’d been “dumped” and people were acting oddly. We then had several cruel messages from people we believed were friends and some neighbours - the general gist of them was “you’re evil puppy killers, nobody wants anything to do with you” and “there was nothing wrong with the puppy, you just couldn’t be bothered with her so lied to the vet to have her PTS.” My best friend of 20 years messaged me to say our friendship was over as she didn’t know who I was any more to do something so awful. After such a terrible year, my mental health hit rock bottom and I tried to hurt myself as I believed they must be right that I am evil. Our neighbours blank us in the street or swear at us under their breath if we walk past.

We have just got ourselves a 4 year old rescue dog as our house feels so empty. We feel we were a loving family who wanted it to work so much. He is such a lovely boy, we have all fallen in love with him and he’s shown us how difficult our first dog had been. Obviously seeing us out with a new dog has renewed the level of hatred they all feel and this week I have had more abusive messages about the dog saying that we are parading our new dog in their faces when they’re all so upset and it’s confirmed everything they believe about me. It has put me in a mental health crisis and I don’t know what to do. I have lost all my friends and have nobody to talk to. Nobody has EVER asked me what happened or asked why we made the decision to PTS. They have no facts at all. I’m so distraught. Am I an awful person? I feel I put the safety of my children first and I would do the same again.

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LovingLola · 09/03/2019 22:09

They all sound completely insane.