Why does the mother almost always get the blame?

[StopLazyJournosCopyingContent]

I don’t normally have much time for Katie Price, but she seems to be getting a very hard time for putting Harvey into residential care during school time.

None of us can know what he is like in real life, but he seems to have some very challenging additional needs, and she’s looked after him without any input from his father for years. Why are people haranguing and trolling her for making this decision when Dwight Yorke does absolutely fuck-all?

It’s more a rant than an AIBU really; whilst of course there are many men who do their share and more, it seems that so much of the expectation and criticism falls on women. “Babysitting”; “daddy daycare” - this attitude is so old-fashioned

[Boom76]

Totally agree

[Mumofaprinny]

I have to say I agree!

[OurChristmasMiracle]

She’s a mum who is trying to do what’s right for her child. Only she knows the full reasons she has made this decision, and honestly it must be exhausting. She will be no use to her child if she ends up with a mental or physical breakdown.

[HoustonBess]

I don't care what she does about residential care.

She's an abysmal mother for failing to respect her children's privacy by taking this shit into the media.

[x2boys]

I.agree I m not keen on KP but I think.she's always tried to.do right by Harvey ,I'm the mother of a child with significant disabilities and I would say walk a mile in her shoes before judging .

[CameliaCamelia]

She's not 'abysmal' at all

She's made a few wrong choices along the way but she's called out his bullies,cared for him and done her best.....like we all do

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I have a lot of sympathy for the issues she has with her eldest son. There will be lots of very challenging behaviour she had to deal without any support from his father.

The last year or so she has provided very limited stability which won't have helped. Long term though it doesn't sound like he can live on his own so supported accommodation of some sort will be inevitable. I can't imagine how I would have coped with this situation, I don't cope with ill health well at all.

[BitchQueen90]

I don't think she's a good mother but for other reasons (bringing multiple men into the lives of her children etc.)

I think Dwight Yorke is scum.

[SquiddyMcSquidford]

I agree. His dad is equally responsible.

And I don't think anyone should judge him going into residential care. For many families it is the best option not only for the person with additional needs but for everyone on the family.

[x2boys]

Does Dwight Yorke even acknowledge Harvey?

[Klopptimist]

I feel sorry for the woman, have done for a long time. I don't think she's very well and yes, Dwight Yorke is the real shitehawk in all this. I saw photos of KP and H yesterday, the lad is twice her size. Of course she needs some specialist help.

Some will say she has violated Harvey's privacy and whilst that's true, she's also opened a dialogue regarding SN kids and if it helps just one ordinary mum then she's done a good job.

[LongWalkShortPlank]

She HAS to put it in the media herself because if she didn't the news would have splashed it around as it she was abandoning him, which obviously isn't the case. She had to get ahead of it for her whole family's sake. I can't comment beyond that either way, but I think she's done pretty well considering.

[LongWalkShortPlank]

*if

[newnameforthis7]

I agree OP. Where IS Dwight Yorke in all this?!

KP has looked after Harvey since he was born - her and her mother anyway, and his dad has never been seen.

I admire ANYone who can look after someone with such severe special needs... I couldn't do it.

KP deserves a break.

[manicinsomniac]

I don't know much about this situation in particular but I agree that mothers get a disproportionate share of the blame for things like this.

On the flip side they also tend to get a disproportionate share of custody when couples split so I suppose there are pros and cons.

There are many times when I'm pleased that my children don't have a dad! I get all the blame but also don't have to share them either.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I agree.
I am no fan of KP but respect when it is due, she is a working mum and afaik has always fought hard for Harvey.
I would judge others for judging her reasons for this.

[newnameforthis7]

On a slightly different tangent, how come Harvey has gotten so huge all of a sudden? He looks twice the size he was a year ago.

And he really doesn't look well.

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-6682379/Katie-Price-says-son-Harvey-16-obsessed-like-24-stone-nightmare-newborn.html

[Seline]

I don't have any opinion on her as a person.

However she obviously loves her children and caring for a disabled child is hard. I think people are being unfair.

[AdobeWanKenobi]

I work with AS kids, a few of which have ultimately gone into residential. I can say honestly that none of those decisions were made lightly by the families. I've been where she is, the breakages, things thrown, the punches, the kicks. Difference is at 3.30 I can go home.

Dealing with a meltdown in any AS child is difficult, but when they are 6ft tall and 18 stone and you are not it's bloody impossible.

She's made a decision for herself, her other children and ultimately for Harvey's wellbeing and I respect her completely for it.

[BejamNostalgia]

Apparently KP’s mother has always helped with Harvey’s care but is too ill to do so now. It also sounds like Harvey might be wanting a little bit of independence too, he’s said to have a girlfriend of sorts,

I think it’s always people with very little experience of caring for someone with a disability who just assume keeping a disabled child at home for ever is a default.

Yes, she has done a lot of work around disability and removing stigma.

But at the same time.....I remember the reality show when she was pregnant with Harvey.

[Samcro]

Wow are people really judging her for this?
Its normal to look at residential for young people with the level of disability HArvey has.
I wonder what kind of person is who is doing the judging.
They must have no idea of the level of care he needs.

[Rufusthebewilderedreindeer]

YANBU stop

[Bouchie]

newname. One of the conditions he has is called prader Wili Syndrome. One of the symptoms of whixh is an uncontrollable appetite. I used to teach a little boy with the condition. The year before he came to me he ate his way through the entire classes pack lunches.As it affects the metabolic rate too:(

[MyBreadIsEggy]

I usually feel nothing but disgust when I read about KP.
But I will give her this one: she’s been a mostly single mum to a child with serious special needs and medical issues, and that would be a tough ride for anyone. The fact that she has money (questionable at present) and a celebrity status doesn’t make the emotional and mental weight of that any easier. She’s also said his behaviour is affecting the lives of her younger children, and they feel in danger when his behaviour is out of control - she has to do what is best by the whole family, Harvey included.
If having him board at his school Mon-Fri is going to benefit him, his education, her mental and emotional wellbeing, and that of the other children involved, then I think it’s probably best.
The people giving her stick for even suggesting it probably don’t have any idea what it’s like to be the parent of a child with such complex needs!

[Aridane]

Where is the backlash - seems a reasonable, loving and well thought out decision?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-47146778