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New mums making me feel like crap about myself

(115 Posts)
uhtredsonofuhtred Fri 11-Jan-19 13:02:20

Just got back from play group with my 2 year old and quite frankly I'm feeling quite shit about my appearance.

So thought I'd better venture out today because staying indoors with a energetic 2 year old is not the one and we've had loads of days in with either her or myself being ill.

Put a bit of make up on tie the hair up and try and make myself look a bit more presentable (all though I still look like I've just fell out of bed) do the school run and get to playground for just after friends there with her 3 month old and I haven't seen her since she was 2 weeks old, her mum (my friend) looks radiant! No make up on (maybe a bit of moisture) her hairs down and straightened with nice clean clothes on, she looks great!
Another lady who I know of comes walking over with her 3 week old and again looks radiant and absolutely stunning, she's had her cut and minimal make up on her clothes are nice, and no new mummy belly, cup of coffee in one hand and her baby in her arm.

How are these woman looking this great at 9 in the morning with new babies  I look like utter shit with just a two year old in tow. It's not fair 

halfwitpicker Fri 11-Jan-19 13:04:32

Dunno. They have help at home?

Lightsong Fri 11-Jan-19 13:05:54

I had loads of free time for make up & hair when mine were tiny, now that youngest is almost 2 I am a frazzled mess.

I saw this on Facebook and in my experience it is 100% true:

People that tell you the newborn stage is the hardest... DO NOT FUCKING LISTEN. The new born stage is THE BEST. They sleep they cuddle their little cry is adorable.

Toddlers are fucking savages. Toddlers do not fucking care.

Jellyonawonkyplate Fri 11-Jan-19 13:07:08

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ZogTheOrangeDragon Fri 11-Jan-19 13:07:42

You’re right, it’s not fair but I’ve always found it is easier to do hair and make up with babies than toddlers, and adding in the school run means you’ve had a far busier morning.

I know it’s easy to say, but just be gentle on yourself.

MollysLips Fri 11-Jan-19 13:07:55

Yes, newborn babies sleep on average something like 20 hours a day.

Houseonahill Fri 11-Jan-19 13:09:39

I agree with lighting, I had much more time to look nice when I was on maternity leave with a (very good) new born, now she is nearly 2 just brushing my hair is a challenge some mornings!

Bobfossil2 Fri 11-Jan-19 13:09:49

I have time to shower and wash and straighten my hair etc and my newborn just lies there and waits for me to be done. If she was 2 she wouldn’t be waiting patiently! Just wait until they have 2 year olds smile Also I’m sure you look great, we are always so much harsher on ourselves

Aprilshowerswontbelong Fri 11-Jan-19 13:11:33

Those ladies are still buzzing on early days adrenalin op.
Wait til those babies become walking /talking whirlwinds.
They will be envying you then - your dc will be at school!!

LoisWilkerson1 Fri 11-Jan-19 13:13:08

You just caught them on a good day. They do happenflowers

Drogosnextwife Fri 11-Jan-19 13:14:24

Nope I disagree, baby stage was a fucking nightmare with my second ds was so glad when he got to toddler stage and I could get a shower without him screaming bloody murder.

Bellabutterfly2016 Fri 11-Jan-19 13:14:55

I feel the same new baby and a 3 year old!!

Neverender Fri 11-Jan-19 13:15:19

Get up before they do - it's the only way!

uhtredsonofuhtred Fri 11-Jan-19 13:15:39

I forgot to add that these woman have other children too, the one who has the 3 week old has 4 other children all of school run age! I have 5 but 3 are teenagers and the other two are 4 and 2, I agree the new born stage is easier for getting yourself ready but this woman has 5 kids to get ready and in the car for school by 8:30 

SixButterflies Fri 11-Jan-19 13:15:44

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Drogosnextwife Fri 11-Jan-19 13:16:36

I always think after someone has a baby they put in a bit extra effort to get themselves looking good, due to being so desperate to get back to normal after feeling like a whale, a determination to not let themselves go because they have a new baby etc. They probably go home and think the same about you.

babysharkah Fri 11-Jan-19 13:18:34

3 teenagers so they only have two to get ready?

I have twins. I always got up early for a coffee and a shower in peace. It was worth sacrificing 30 mins sleep for for my attitude to the day.

LaurieMarlow Fri 11-Jan-19 13:18:42

My newborns were a piece of piss. They even slept.

The older they got, the more difficult they were.

Plus the post birth hormones do wonders. My skin and hair were lovely for a few months after birth. Now, not so much blush

uhtredsonofuhtred Fri 11-Jan-19 13:20:32

@Drogosnextwife oh I agree, after I had my last I was making the effort because I felt so good (and light lol) but why can't it carry on why does that energy fizzle out? I sit here and debate whether to fold the washing or put my make up on. The housework always wins

uhtredsonofuhtred Fri 11-Jan-19 13:22:05

@babysharkah no I'm the one with the 3 teenagers and 2 little ones, she has 5 age from 3 weeks-11 years old

ItsQuietTime Fri 11-Jan-19 13:24:04

Some people are really efficient with their time and energy allowing them to manage children, home, work, relationships and themselves.

And well some people always just look better than others with minimal effort. 🤷🏻‍♀️

uhtredsonofuhtred Fri 11-Jan-19 13:24:51

I can't remember the last time I straightened my hair, I plucked my eyebrows yesterday because everyone kept staring at them whilst talking to me 🙈 I was forced so did them while was helping my daughter with her homework 

Raspberry88 Fri 11-Jan-19 13:25:45

I'm the opposite actually, had a very clingy newborn so could barely have a shower, see to my hair or anything but now DS is a toddler, wakes at an ungodly hour of the morning and just wants to watch something special, I've got tonnes of time in the morning. He's a (very lovely) nightmare the rest of the day but absolutely gorgeous for a couple of hours early on!

AnnAbbieLian Fri 11-Jan-19 13:26:26

I kind of feel like, I've reproduced now, my genes are secure, why bother faffing over my appearance (not that I actually did before or anything).

KissHerYouBrilliantFool Fri 11-Jan-19 13:26:36

In my experience it tends to be wealthier women who look like this as they can afford nice clothes, make up, gym membership etc. Are you friends well off, OP?

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