Twin DDs are almost 15. They are, for the most part, pretty inseperable. DD2 has some health issues that can be a bit restricting (this is relevant).
In October my nephew moved in. He and DS1 negotiated with the girls over bedroom space as the girls were about to move into the bigger room downstairs vacated by the au pair. Neither "needed" the bigger room hence we let them sort it amongst themselves.
The room is bigger, has a small single-ish size room off it (weird shape and no windows, girls planned to put wardrobes in there - boys have their x-box set up in there) and a nicer en-suite.
In exchange for getting the bigger room DS and DN have been collecting the girls from an activity they wanted to do once a week. It doesn't finish until 10pm so misses the last direct bus and I can't collect them as I have younger kids who are already in bed at that time.
Two of DD1's friends have started doing the activity as well. DD2's enjoyment of it has gone down. They don't leave her out, she's not being bullied, she just enjoys it less than if it was just her and DD1 so she's decided to stop going.
She's now got herself extremely upset tonight because DD1 won't change to a different activity. She can't go herself because she can't be out and about herself because of the health issues. I can't pick her up because of the younger kids and the boys can't pick her up as they'll be picking up DD1. DD1 can't get the bus because of timings, and DD2 can't get the bus alone because of health.
So tonight she decided to broach the boys about swapping rooms. Obviously they pointed out that they've been giving lifts since October, are happy to continue giving lifts and if she chooses not to go then that's not their fault.
She also got a bollocking from me because she told DH that DN was "mean and frightening" when she spoke to him about the rooms not realising that I was in the kitchen the entire time and heard the discussion word-for-word.
DH is feeling very sorry for her because if it was the other way round we'd most likely allow DD1 to get the bus home, but we simply can't with her. It's too dangerous. DH works away 1 night a week and it's that night. DH thinks we should give DD1 a set amount of weeks before she needs to give DD2 the chance for her activity. I totally disagree and think it's just a harsh lesson for DD2.
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AIBU?
AIBU to think this is simply a life lesson for DD
105 replies
lalalalyra · 06/02/2018 20:20
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