I have been on here before to try and understand my OHs behaviour, to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable. After months maybe years of being unhappy I have squirrelled money and found a place for myself and my 2 dd's to live. The problem is I haven't told him I'm leaving. I'm concerned about my children's Christmas and am trying to keep it under wraps. So now I feel sick with anxiety, can't sleep and keep questioning what I'm doing. My head is close to explosion point!
Are you the poster who’s ‘d’ p was financially abusive and cut off all money leaving you trying to support yourselves on a startup business having previously left a good career? If so I remember previous threads and you aren’t being unreasonable to leave and you aren’t being unreasonable to get your ducks in a row for the sake of your kids. I wish you luck (apologies if wrong poster)
I have no intention of manipulating the thread to rally support. Just wanted unbiased opinions. We have been discussing separating since September and unfortunately things have come to a head at Christmas. I want my children to have a good Christmas so was intending to wait a couple weeks before I discuss the details with him, but maybe I will tell him now and trust he will do what's best for our children. Thank you for your opinion.
Thank you. Yes I did post about the money and he has continued to hold it back and only drip feed small amounts to me. I am obviously going to tell him I'm leaving and I am only moving a couple miles away. It's just all very emotional.
When I left my exh he was in denial. He don't believe I had a house sorted and a van booked. Unfortunately moving date was the day his poorly gf died. He was a lovely man who actually supported my wish to leave exh. I did move that day while exh was at work. If you have a date in mind (tenancy date maybe?) you can claim benefits from that date if you going to claim. Forms can be filled in a bit earlier with the official date on.
Is there any particular reason why you are leaving? Abuse, physical, financial or emotional? If not, it's completely unfair from you to just take your children and leave. You need to be honest and open with your partner. Leaving an abuser is a completely different story.
OK, just reading financial abuse. Then you're better off without him and so will your children. You can have lovely Christmas even without their Dad present. And I think if you were considering separation already, they already know not all's good between you.