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AIBU?

To tell them to stuff their bloody job

21 replies

ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 20:35

I was job hunting for years - being a SAHM for 8 years (so a large gap in my CV), and my age, all counted against me. Nobody would give me a chance.

I finally got a job - a very interesting one. I enjoy the work. But...the boss is an absolute narcissistic bastard (or in the words of our office 'queen'' - an absolute cunt. Not being nasty lol, he call himself a queer princess Grin). Everyone is terrified of putting a foot wrong. He (the boss, not the princess) rips everyone to pieces on an almost daily basis . He watches the staff on CCTV. Every person there knows what he's like, but every single person jumps at every chance to stab anyone else in the back. You literally cannot fart in the toilet without someone running to him and telling him. You cannot trust anyone - and I mean that. If you tell someone: so and so had very smelly breath today, they run straight to him and tell him what you said. You are then berated. I can't understand why everyone doesn't just support each other so they don't get into trouble.

At the moment he's focusing on me. I absolutely cannot do anything right. I'll write a perfectly good e-mail, and he'll have a go at me, change the word order around and tell me that's the way it should be done. He has a go at me because the spacing on my indent is 0.01mm too large. Today he spoke to my manager about my unacceptable behaviour of opening my mouth during a meeting and contributing to the conversation. They ask for ideas, and when you come up with (perfectly good) ideas, they get shot down without any consideration and told not to waste their time. I'm a 46 yo, intelligent woman with over 20 years experience ffs, and I get treated like a naughty 5-year old.

My last relationship was very abusive, and the confidence I've managed to slowly build up again after 5 years away from him, has been completely destroyed in the space of 3 months. I'm scared to go to work in the morning. I have two DC to support though, and I need a job, but it's seriously affecting my mental health. If I wanted to be treated like this, I would've stayed with my ex. My DWP job coach has recommended I stay there 'till I find another job, but I don't know how much more I can take, and finding part time work is not easy at all.

I suppose this is more of a rant and blowing off steam than a AIBU, and I know I shouldn't just say fuck it and walk out, but the temptation is so big. When my manager looks at me, I automatically say: what have I done wrong this time.

Thanks for listening to my rant lol.

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RavenLG · 23/11/2017 20:39

That sounds like an awful place to work! I probably would have told them to stuff it by now, but if you’re worried about finances start looking for a new job before making rash decisions. It’s always better / easier to find employment when you’re already working!

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Rainbowandraindrops67 · 23/11/2017 20:40

Look for another job but don’t quit until you have done one

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PacAMac · 23/11/2017 20:49

That sounds shit! Look for another job asap.

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Rudgie47 · 23/11/2017 20:51

Can you go to an agency and get a job through them to get out quicker?.
If not I'd be applying for anything and everything just to get out of there. If it gets to the point where you feel that your mental health is really suffering then I'd get some advice about the best way to leave and get benefits.

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LadyWithLapdog · 23/11/2017 20:54

How awful. Do such places still exist? I'm a bit speechless. It sounds like you're in such a difficult position if you rely on the money and any future reference from this prick.

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ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 21:09

Thanks guys. I forgot to mention that they'll also e-mail me something, saying this is the way to do a thing. I'll do it that way. They'll then e-mail my manager asking why I did it that way, and deny they ever told me to do it that way, even though I have it in writing! They'll then amend the document and tell my manager that this is the way things should be done, and to make sure I obey their rules in future. It's all a big headfuck.

It feels like they want to get rid of me, but don't want to fire me and be seen as the 'bad guys', so they're making my life hell so I'll be the one to leave Sad.

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Missonihoni · 23/11/2017 21:11

Please tell us when you find a new job so we can throw a party. What a shit job and shit boss. F them Grin

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TheSnowFairy · 23/11/2017 21:37

When my manager looks at me, I automatically say: what have I done wrong this time.

Not out loud, I hope?

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ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 21:41

Not out loud, I hope?

Yes, out loud! And then she'll tell me the latest thing the boss said I did wrong. I sometimes have to bite back the tears. The worst thing is that she suffers from his venom as much as I do, so she knows how it feels, but she still runs to him with every little thing. Today she said something to him that wasn't altogether true, and will have me in a lot of trouble next week. She didn't need to say it, it almost feels like she's trying to point score.

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oldlaundbooth · 23/11/2017 21:43

Quit when you have found another job.

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BlueThesaurusRex · 23/11/2017 21:46

I think we’re colleagues Sad

Jk (I think!

No job is worth this- the backstabbing/telling tales is never going to get better. People are doing it to score points and get on the right side of him!

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ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 21:54

I've been out of the workplace for a long time - I have caught myself thinking that maybe this is just the way things are done now. But surely it isn't? I've worked in a lot of places and I've never experienced this kind of thing before Sad.

Blue - if it's somewhere in Suffolk, then perhaps we are colleagues.

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iBiscuit · 23/11/2017 21:54

If you tell someone: so and so had very smelly breath today, they run straight to him and tell him what you said.

In thirty years of full-time employment I have never mentioned a colleague's bad breath to someone else at work.

The situation sounds horrible, but if someone was bitching about a workmate that way, I might very well mention it to the boss.

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ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 22:01

Biscuit - it was just an example of the type of petty thing they run to him with. I didn't really do it, it was just to show the pettiness.

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ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 22:01

I don't want to give actual examples and be outed lol.

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WildBluebelles · 23/11/2017 22:06

If you tell someone: so and so had very smelly breath today, they run straight to him and tell him what you said. You are then berated.

Yeah, just really don't say that about your colleagues.

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abbsisspartacus · 23/11/2017 22:31

I think that was a vague example of the pettiness wildbluebells

Op are you within your three month training period? Can you walk away ?

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RavenLG · 23/11/2017 22:55

I have caught myself thinking that maybe this is just the way things are done now. But surely it isn't? .. it absolutely bloody isn't OP! The work environment you have described sounds very very toxic. I've been in the position where I hated my manager / job and everything I did was wrong. It also happened to be my 2nd job (promotion from a cashier to an administrator in a theme park, same management, but higher management became my direct management and made my life hell!) it wasn't until I left and got another job I realised how awful he was.

I currently work for an organisation that is absolutely brilliant. I've been off work for 4 weeks with anxiety and depression, but they've been great. My manger has been checking in on me almost daily, asking how I am, if I need anything etc. Her manager (who I do some PA work for) has also checked in on me and said "if they can look after me how I look after them then I should let them know so they can help me". HR have been great and offered a phased return and occupational health have organised a meeting to discuss if they can help too. THIS is a work environment that everyone should have!! It is NOT normal to have a toxic, backstabbing, walking on eggshells environment OP. You deserve better and hope you find it soon!

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ReallyJustBloodyDidThat · 23/11/2017 22:57

I've just completed my 3 month probation period.

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retirednow · 23/11/2017 23:05

I recently walked from a job I loved, thankfully I was financially OK,, it was toxic toxic toxic. Looking back I don't know why it took me so long.

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TheSnowFairy · 23/11/2017 23:45

Not out loud, I hope?

Yes, out loud! And then she'll tell me the latest thing the boss said I did wrong.

Definitely look for another job but in the meantime, stop asking if you have done something wrong - just gives your manager a chance to slate you!

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