Lost my temper with DH this evening. Left the house for a walk to calm down, was a few hours ago but I'm still stewing over this and unable to understand.
Whenever I suggest a day out, taking kids somewhere, time together, a meal, cinema anything, his first response is no. Second response why?
He never suggests days out anywhere to anything.
But... and here's the confusing bit. He will then a few hours or a day later say, fine then we'll go. Always.
I suggested over dinner we take kids to a Christmas parade tomorrow. He says no, then why. He says I don't have to always take the kids places. Fine. I get that I like to keep them/me busy and try new experiences, make memories. And I love Christmas so like getting into the mood early. So I suggest then we go by bus as rural living means kids don't get to travel to city by bus that often.
Again the answer is no. Why I ask? Fun for kids, no parking hassles. He just said he hates buses, we'll drive.
I said he can drive and we'll meet him there. So he got annoyed asking why, why do we have to get bus even after I explained kids enjoy it, why not?
I lost my temper so left house for a walk but hours later I'm still annoyed.
This happens with everything I try to organise. Why...no...why...no.
Then a few hours later or the next day, he'll say ok we'll go. So all that bad feeling for nothing.
I feel like I need his approval for any decision I make about days out.
Previous time before tonight was during the week on way back from visiting family. I suggested we stop for food on way home. He said no. I'm busy thinking about what's in fridge to make when we get in and he pulls into restaurant car park and said, well you wanted to eat didn't you?
Is this slow form of torture a kind of control or am I reading too much into it. While I was walking this evening my chest was pounding and felt tight because of the tension this simple conversation caused. It's slowly driving me insane.
If IABU, can you suggest ways we don't end up arguing over a simple family day out?
Thanks
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
Or is this a form of control
124 replies
Sandbrook · 18/11/2017 21:51
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