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To ask if anyone else feels lonely/ has crap friends and therefore joined Bumble?!

(27 Posts)
JRT2017 Sun 12-Nov-17 16:41:13

As title.

I’ve had a bit of a crap week re friends, been let down by one of my so called ‘best friends’ which isn’t the first time, but I think it’ll be the last as I’ve decided to cut her loose, as sad as that makes me feel.

I’m 30 and in the last couple of years, my social circle has really dwindled. Two very good friends have both relocated for work, another has just had a baby, others seem to have drifted off and met other friends.

I feel sad and left behind. I’ve made quite a big effort over the last couple of weeks to get in touch with friends I haven’t seen for a while, inviting them to meet up etc. Only one has responded. I’ve had two friends in the last couple of months, that I hadn’t seen for a while, want to meet up. Which I did with both of them, and it became apparent within the first 10 minutes that there was an ulterior motive for wanting to meet up. Both of them had ‘problems’ they wanted to talk about. Which is fine, I’m a good listener and care about my friends, but both these have form for only seeming to want to get in contact/ meet up when they have problems in order to use me as some sort of free agony aunt/ counsellor and it’s made me feel really used.

I feel like it is always me pedalling most of my friendships nowadays and I’m getting a bit sick of it.

I’m generally a really busy person and don’t have a lot of time to take up any new hobbies, the ones I have keep me busy enough (and I am lucky in that I have made friends from them, everyone just seems a bit distant nowadays though)

So in a ‘last ditch attempt’ if you like this afternoon, I downloaded Bumble BFF. I haven’t properly used it yet though and am doing so with a bit of tredeptation. When I was single I used Tinder a bit and didn’t think twice about ‘swiping left’ and ‘rejecting’ people on there, but I feel really mean doing it to potential ‘friends.’

I also worry that no one will like me/ swipe ‘left’ and my search for friends on Bumble will be fruitless and ill just end up mad dog lady grin

I think this post is half wanting to vent and wondering whether it’s just me with ‘friends’ like I have at the moment and half genuinely wondering whether anyone has used Bumble BFF successfully?

Ssdw Sun 12-Nov-17 16:44:02

I haven't , i didnt realise there was such thing. What would you base your left/ right swipes on?

EnglishGirlApproximately Sun 12-Nov-17 16:45:36

I’m watching this with interest. I often feel lonely and like I’m on a totally different page to my friends. Old friends are at different stages of their lives as I had Ds late, they’re all enjoying the freedom of their kids being older. Newer friends are in reality little more than acquaintances as they already have long standing social circles. I haven’t heard of bumble it will check it out. Good luck OP flowers

JRT2017 Sun 12-Nov-17 16:52:57

Bumble BFF is an app for women (and men but it’s predominately populated and used by women) to make friends. It’s like a ‘friendship app’ rather than a dating app.

If you’re familiar with Tinder and such, it’s similar in that you write a little ‘bio’ for your profile (I.e looking to make some new friends, I like wine and dogs grin) and that, along with pictures determines whether someone thinks you are ‘friendship’ material for them!

jaseyraex Sun 12-Nov-17 16:54:03

Haven't heard of Bumble, may check that out! I'm in much the same boat as you OP. I've had the same group of friends since primary school but we're all at very different stages now. I have a few of those 'only interested when they need something' friends. I'm the first of our group to have children and get married, apparently that means I no longer merit an invite when they're all meeting up. So you're definitely not alone with the crappy friends! I hope you do make some new ones smile

ZepellinBend Sun 12-Nov-17 16:57:56

Haven't used Bumble but I do go on Meetup events in my area and have meet some nice people through that. I've found as the years go on everyone is settling down in a couple and there's few people I can call on for nights out and things to do.

LaughingLlama Sun 12-Nov-17 16:59:54

Never heard of bumble but will have to look at it.
I am so lonely. People just seem so flakey. Never return calls but alwats saying we must meet up.
Ive had a huge crisis of slef confidence recently after it seems i have moreless been dumped by my so callef bf of 31 years. I am questioning wtf is wong with me.
Perhaps i need to give domethibg like bumble ago.

justabouthangingintheretoday Sun 12-Nov-17 17:02:30

Hello, just to say I am so sorry you are feeling lonely and have been let down by friends. However, I admire your spirit and you deserve some lovely friends! it isn't just you - circles of friends change for lots of reasons and changes in personal circumstances do change who you want to or just end up hanging out with or have things in common with. Good luck and I'm going to check out the website too!

justabouthangingintheretoday Sun 12-Nov-17 17:05:17

Laughing - your post is very sad. Why not give Bumble a go or (cliche coming up) try out a new interest but only if it is something you have always wanted to have a go at. Good luck to you too flowers

Ssdw Sun 12-Nov-17 17:09:30

Sure, im familiar with Tinder.
Just finished a minute session and only swiped right 3 times smile
But it is based on pic so obviously with potential friends you wouldnt swipe based on that. That is why i was wondering whether there is a compulsory bio or questionair. I think i would take it hard if i got no matches smile
Harder than on Tinder.
I dont know where you are but here in London there are tons of meetup groups to make new friends, socialise etc as well as for every sort of hobby and interest you can imagine

Ssdw Sun 12-Nov-17 17:10:11

*20 minute session..

VioletCharlotte Sun 12-Nov-17 17:16:33

I downloaded it but there was no one on there who lived within 20 miles of me. I live in a fairly large town so a bit disappointed!

I've got lots of friends, but feeling at the moment I want to meet some new people. Have you tried Meet Up or looking on Facebook to see what groups are in your area?

fullofhope03 Sun 12-Nov-17 17:19:59

I'm sorry to hear you're sad OP sad Loneliness is a really grim thing.
Good for you doing something about your situation though! I'd never heard of Bumble unil now - what a great idea. Good luck, I hope things improve for you very soon. flowers xx
Laughing so sorry to hear about you too sad
Hope you join Bumble too - good luck to you too smile flowers xx

fullofhope03 Sun 12-Nov-17 17:27:09

Good Lord, how many times can a person say 'too'?!!! grin

Wauden Sun 12-Nov-17 17:30:51

Me, too. I feel lonely also. Reading your post, I realised now why I haven't got back to three friends for a while, which I feel bad about. I realise now that they had given the impression that they were needing someone to listen to whereas I had hoped they would also say they wanted to see me, for my sake.
So am at fault for not contacting some people.
I had never heard of Bumble but sounds like a good idea.
I just really like to have interesting conversations and a shared interest and a reason to get talking.

Hadenoughoftumble Sun 12-Nov-17 17:38:29

Watching with interest. I’m feeling extremely lonely lately and my social life is abismal. I have a few friends but only see them occasionally. I have one very lovely friend but she already had lots very well established friendships when I met her and she is a busy lady so don’t see her very much.
In school and up until about 5 years ago I always had a couple of very close friends that I could say anything to and have a good time with. I miss it so much and I think it’s making me depressed. I live quite rurally and everyone seems to have established friendships already.
Hope things get better for you op.

mintich Sun 12-Nov-17 17:41:55

I use Mush app for the same thing

OCSockOrphanage Sun 12-Nov-17 17:59:57

If an old eejit can add something to this.please don't take it too seriously. Over the years, we have worked hard to develop a social life in an area where we knew nobody. Twenty five years later, we have realised that unless you are cousins or closer, nothing counts. We have invited people for dinner and drinks, picnics and barbecues, christenings and weddings; few have been returned, and still our friends are the people we met as teenagers, and liked. The number of invitations accepted but not returned would hit high hundreds. So, I rarely bother.

SavageBeauty73 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:03:54

I'm on bumble to date! Is there a different app?

PidgeonSpray Sun 12-Nov-17 18:26:36

I've just joined but don't understand which way to swipe for yes vs no as I've never used adapting app. Help

Acrosstheuniverse123 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:32:04

I'd never heard of it but it links to your Facebook page which I don't like - more information gathering. I tried a fake Facebook but it wouldn't download a profile picture whatever I tried. I gave up. It seems to be for dating too, which puts me off.

JustDanceAddict Sun 12-Nov-17 18:37:26

Never heard of a Friends/Bumble app but have heard of meet up and my friend has been to a couple (because she’s single and wanted to widen her circle). I’d be more inclined to go to and meet up event than to put myself ‘out there’ online as am better in person. Most of my friends are from my late teen years but I do have more recent ‘mum’ friends too.

BriechonCheese Sun 12-Nov-17 18:43:20

I wondered about Bumble just for broadening my social group but you need Facebook to sign up. Is there no other way?

JRT2017 Sun 12-Nov-17 18:55:10

Thanks for the replies. Sorry to hear other people are in the same boat, it sucks doesn’t it sad I think without the whole school/ college/ uni institutions, or unless you work in a big, sociable company, it makes making new friends really hard once you hit your mid/ late 20’s and 30’s etc.

Bumble is a dating app, but you have to download the dating app itself, and then there is another section that it brings up with Bumble BFF. Click ‘go to Bumble BFF’ and that’s it, done. I think you need a FB profile, but Bumble BFF isn’t like Tinder in that it shows your name, how many FB friends you have in common etc etc. It’s a bit more private than that.

CatTheMouse Sun 12-Nov-17 19:28:54

I've downloaded it and had a look. Too scared to swipe anyone though. sad

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